Buckle up Buttercup and Breathe

By Cindy Johnson

You will have many times in your life when you need to hang on, but occasionally you will need to buckle up and strap in for the ride. That is no lie. This is the story of my life as a normal (okay, semi-normal) working mom raising a family and then bam! I was hit with major health issues-major as in the Mayo Clinic kind of things. This is the account and play-by-play (I was a coach) of how life can become seriously something you never envisioned and how things happen that you would not wish on your worst enemy. How I was able to do things that I never figured I would have the courage and strength to get through. How God equipped me to face these trials by keeping my head up and walking the walk.

You will be able to see the change from a fairly strong woman to someone who now feels she can face anything head-on and not feel the need to drive herself off a cliff. There have been life-changing tests that seemed terrible and overwhelming, but they were things that I now see needed to happen. I saw firsthand that there are angels on earth. We are given people to help us share our journeys with, make each other better. Life is more fun together, and that is how we can live a great story. But most importantly, breathe.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Covenant Books, Inc.
• Release date: Apr 13, 2021
• ISBN: 9781636305677

Cindy Johnson

Cindy Johnson is a vibrant and active single living in Orange County, California. Growing up as a pastor’s daughter, working at Christian camps, and attending Biola University have all given her great insight into the ins and outs of her audience’s culture. She works for Young Life so she is relationally connected to young single women all over Southern California and beyond. An experienced writer and speaker, Cindy engages biblical truths with her generation’s questions using wit, authenticity, and in-depth reflection.

Book preview

1

How It Began

Well, here I go. I’m Cindy Johnson, I am a fifty-seven-year-old who lives in Fargo, North Dakota. (And yes, people do live here!) I have been told that I need to write a book. This is so crazy. This idea has been popping in and out of my head for, like, five years. It was more out than in, but it’s always been simmering below the surface. I recall many bike rides where all of a sudden, I was like, Well, life is kind of like this bike ride… I should write that down. And then poof! That idea would disappear like the wind that was blowing me along my way. Or I’m out golfing, a life moment will pop up, and I will think, Well, this is sure how my life seems to be par for the course. (Haha! See what I just did?) Then poof, it was gone again! Or this happens all the time: I will have a random thought and think, Well, that was really clever and insightful, but then poof! See a pattern here?

So I have been getting very annoyed that this whole writing-a-book-thing keeps popping up when I least expect it. But there was one thing that I feel has pushed me over the edge. I was telling a new group from my senior exercise class about how I ended up doing what I’m doing. When I finished, one of the new little ladies came up to me and leaned in. I figured she was going to whisper something to me, so I leaned closer; and she pretty much yelled, You need to write a book! I smiled and said, Sure, you never know, and went on my merry way. But this old broad is pretty pushy, and every single day after class in our hug line, she gets to me during her hug turn and quietly says, Have you done it yet?… Live life but start writing! I hear this three days a week, and I blow it off three days a week…until now. It has kept popping back up at the most random times, which shouldn’t surprise me or those who know me as random should be the word for my life.

Questions keep joining those writing thoughts. Why would I think I can write a book? Why would anyone want to read anything that I have to say? (Well, I do have an answer for that one: I feel I’m extremely interesting, haha!) How can I even begin to plot a book? Again, did you see what I did? I’m a walking poster child for ADHD. Squirrel is my Nickname given to me by a group of my BFFs. The thought of all that organization and trying to place all these random thoughts is enough to put me over the edge. I have a brain issue, which you’ll read about later. After you read that section, you’ll totally get where I’m coming from.

The whole squirrel thing is very significant, and as you read, you will see why. I see or think something, and it’s, Wow, a shiny object! And I’m off to see what’s up. So here’s a reading clue: at that point in the story, I’ll just type the word squirrel, and you’ll know. Prepare to love squirrels. So why am I supposed to write a book? Well, the little old lady has never answered me, so I’m a bit annoyed. But there seems to be a voice telling me, just do it; and no, it’s not the Nike commercial. So is this God telling me to do something? If so, then I’ve kind of been acting like some of the biblical characters in the Old Testament. I’ve always thought it would be cool to get a very clear sign from God regarding anything. Like Moses and the burning bush talking to him. In my case, I would settle for a burning thistle. Or how about Moses saying, I can’t talk very good. Or better yet, Jonah going the other direction from God. That’s how I felt regarding this endeavor: let’s try to dodge this bullet!

I have so many reasons that I can’t do this. The biggest is the whole ADHD/brain thing. Secondly, sometimes I feel English is my second language, so there have to be better choices for this work. But then that darn voice says, Here’s the pros. You have plenty of time to do this. Trust me. I’ve cleared your schedule… All the things you’ve gone through are for a specific purpose. You’re still here, so take that leap of faith you keep telling others to do and just do it. Then I felt like Jonah who was spit back to Nineveh, but I was spit onto the computer chair. And here I sit.

Do you remember back in the old days when you met with your guidance counselor and took those aptitude tests that were supposed to tell your career path for life? Yes, I know I just gave my age away, but I can honestly tell you nowhere in that conversation did the word author ever appear. These tests usually said girls should be secretaries, nurses, or school lunch ladies. Mine actually hit it on the head and said a gym teacher, so hey, they got that right. And that’s I guess where my story starts from the computer chair where I was spit out.

I started my adult life as a physical education teacher and a coach way back in my mid-twenties. I enjoyed it immensely. I taught gym class and coached about everything: volleyball, basketball, tennis, softball, and hockey. I got married to Patrick Johnson at age 22, and we had three kids: Matthew when I was 25, Erin when I was 27, and Kacie at the old age of 32. Life was totally crazy, fun, and chaotic. Pat was a special needs teacher who also coached. Plus, he was a very talented fast pitch pitcher and played on an upper level men’s team. They travelled a lot in the summer. All three kids were involved in sports; and I still played softball, so it was intense. We were a middle-class family who lived pretty much from check to check while extra money went to the kids’ activities. We were able to give them what they needed and some of what they wanted. The good part of this experience was we all learned the difference between needs and wants. The not-so-great part was there was always a lot of stress about money and where it seemed to disappear to so quickly.

Lots of nights and days were spent worrying about how everything was going to be paid. We stressed out about things in the future that we knew were coming, which in turn led to quite a few arguments in our marriage regarding the money issue. Plus, I admit I have not been a real great financial guru. I am proud to say that I have gotten a lot better, but my motto back then was: Well, I still have checks, so therefore I have money. I’m pretty amazed that Pat didn’t just leave me by the side of the road back then. I probably shouldn’t be giving him any ideas, however.

We were able to raise all three kids and got them through all their sports, school, and church activities. We were and have remained a very close family, and for that, I am very blessed and truly thankful. Pat worked very hard to provide for us all and took lots of various side jobs to always have a little extra cash on hand. Between teaching, coaching, and extra jobs, we were doing okay. We always tried to find some humor in life and tried to not have too many fights in front of our kids. I look back, and I don’t feel we shielded them from life’s issues; but we did try to not add unneeded stress to them. I wanted them, as I’m sure most parents do, to enjoy their childhood. We wanted to give them a better life with more opportunities than we both had. And I feel that as I look back, Pat and I did a pretty