Finding Home: Love Across Canada Series, #4

By Cheryl Terra

"I love you. And I'm not going to stop loving you. This isn't what ends us, Noah."

 

"What do you think ends us, then?"

 

"Nothing."

 

A week was all it took to change Lacey and Noah's lives forever. From one side of the country to the other, Noah helps Lacey break free from the chains of her childhood so they can begin their lives together.

 

But the road to happily ever after isn't always easy. When an unexpected person from Noah's past returns, the tenuous peace in Noah and Lacey's lives threatens to shatter as trial after tribulation is thrown at them. Faced with the uncertainty of the future, can Lacey and Noah find a way to escape from their respective pasts?

 

Finding Home brings back Noah and Lacey, the beloved characters from Runaway, in a story that explores the challenges of new adulthood. From making friends, finding jobs, and learning how to cope with the challenges of being an adult, get ready to fall in love with this steamy love story set in Canada!

 

Finding Home is part of the Love Across Canada series, a four-book series of interconnected standalones about three different couples. While the other books may be read in any order, Finding Home is best read as the last book in the series. 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Bang It Out Writing
• Release date: Sep 23, 2020
• ISBN: 9781393026266

Cheryl Terra

Cheryl Terra writes romantic and adult fiction with drama, sass, and a whole lot of... spice. Emotional and humorous, her books focus on contemporary relationships, inclusive characters, and happily ever afters. Living with her husband in northern Alberta, Canada, Cheryl relies on the heat between her quirky and memorable characters to help keep the gas bill down in the winter. For more information and to get free books, visit Cheryl’s website at cherylterra.com

Book preview

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There was nothing quite like the sight of Noah walking in the door covered in dirt and grime, his hair tousled from being tucked under a hard hat all day and his eyes tired but bright as he greeted me.

Should I have been so attracted to him in those moments? Wasn’t it strange to find him irresistible when he was sweaty, admittedly on the mustier side of musky with streaks of dust on his cheeks and nose and eyebrows?

Maybe it was. I was certain that Noah knew how much I wanted him the second he walked in the door, but I had never admitted it to anyone. Restraining myself from jumping on him the moment he entered was hit-or-miss; some days I managed to let him shower first, other days I scrambled to wash our bedding while making dinner so the dirt that transferred from his body to our sheets didn’t cling to us overnight.

On those days, he protested half-heartedly as he pinned me to the bed, mumbling that he should shower first, his words and actions mismatched in their intent. He knew I would tell him that I didn’t care, that I would shower with him when we finished. He’d groan as I promised to wash his hair for him, his fingers pushing my shirt up so he could lower his mouth to my breasts.

He would take me urgently, hard and unforgiving as he pushed himself inside me. Trembling and gasping for breath as we finished, we would move to the shower. I would trace his tattoos with soapy fingers and run my fingers through his hair as I washed the worries of the day away from him. When I finished, he’d return the favour… sort of. His fingers would linger here and there, and my breasts were never so clean as when I showered with Noah.

Prince George was the second place we had lived together. Well, lived somewhat permanently, rather than on a moving vehicle. When we left Montreal, Noah and I didn’t have a plan on where to go next. All we knew was that we had to be back in Toronto in September, since Noah had promised Tom he’d work for him for a few weeks. We had dropped a piece of bagel onto a map at the train station and immediately declared the first option of going back to Winnipeg stupid, so we tried again and ended up in Calgary for a while.

Calgary was nice for a few days, but since it was so close to the mountains, we decided to explore there for a bit. After determining quite strongly in Banff that I did not like camping, we found ourselves back in Jasper. A third attempt at bagelling the map led us to Vancouver, the irony of the destination not lost on us after having nearly ended up there by mistake. And after Vancouver, we headed back to Toronto.

It was only supposed to be for a few weeks, but we ended up spending the better part of a year there. While Noah worked with Tom, I had found a job as a substitute teacher at a nearby school, and we decided to stay in Toronto for a while.

I enjoyed the city, but by the time spring had rolled around, we all could see how unhappy Noah was. He tried to hide it, but the sounds and the smells and the constant traffic were wearing on him. It didn’t help that seven people were crammed into Tom and Jenny’s house. We were lucky enough that we had the small studio in the basement, but it wasn’t a large house to begin with.

One of the many people who had gotten their lives on track because of Tom was a man named Jordan, who had moved to BC after they had worked together for a few years. With a providence that seemed both unlikely and convenient, he called Tom one day to ask if he knew of any people looking for work.

It’s insane here, Jordan said. I’m drowning, man. You know anyone? Got anyone who might come live in the mountains, even just for the summer?

Got just the person, Tom had told him. When do you need him?

Noah tried to hide his excitement at getting out of Toronto, and with anyone else, he would have succeeded. Most people didn’t know Noah’s face the way I did. They saw a stoic, serious man with dark eyes and a tight smile. I saw the flicker in his eyes, the way the corner of his mouth twitched and the nervous crinkle on his forehead that told me how desperately he wanted to say yes.

We had been sitting around Tom and Jenny’s kitchen table as Tom explained the job.

We’ll have to think about it, Noah said evenly.

What’s there to think about? I asked. You should take it. It’s a great opportunity and it might be nice to get out of Toronto for the summer.

He needs someone badly, Tom added. The sooner the better, he said. Good worker like you would save his ass. I’ll miss you like you won’t believe, but Jordan needs the help more than I do right now.

We can’t go right away, Noah pointed out. Lacey’s covering at the school until the end of June.

You could go up ahead of her, Jenny suggested. Lacey stays here, finishes up the school year, joins you when she’s done.

That’d probably work best, Tom said. You stay with Jordan for a bit while you find a place to live. Saves having to find something for the two of you from here.

When he phrased it like that, it seemed like the reasonable thing to do. I hated everything about it, since it meant Noah and I were going to be apart for a month, but I couldn’t argue with logic. Reluctantly, I agreed it was the best option, and two days later, I was sitting on the edge of our bed watching him pack his things for his flight the next morning.

Are you excited? I asked, picking up one of his T-shirts and folding it as he sorted clothing into a suitcase.

Yeah. I worked with Jordan for a bit before he moved out there, when I first started with Tom. Good guy. Looking forward to seeing him again.

I nodded, shaking the T-shirt out and folding it again.

It’s gonna be okay. He took the T-shirt from my hands and tilted my chin up gently. It’s just a month. You’ll barely have time to miss me.

I didn’t know how to explain to Noah that I’d miss everything: the moment he walked in the door after work, the way he wrapped his arms around me as we fell asleep, the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled at me, the way he thought I didn’t notice his gaze when he thought I wasn’t looking.

I would miss everything.

Instead of listing those things, I just sighed. Yes, I will.

We’ll talk every day. Promise.

I nodded again, swallowing the melancholy lump that had grown in my throat.

Please don’t be sad, he whispered.

I tried to smile. Noah knew it was a lie but said nothing as he brushed my hair off my forehead and leaned down to kiss me. As he did, I pulled him towards me.

Gotta finish packing, he said, but he used his knee to nudge my legs apart as he guided me onto my back.

I’ll help you finish later, I promised.

You were supposed to be helping me now, he chuckled. Think you might just be distracting me.

Are you complaining?

He nipped at my bottom lip, slipped his hand beneath the hem of my shirt, and shook his head.

Noah undressed me slowly. He took his time kissing my breasts, tracing from freckle to freckle, drawing intricate patterns with his tongue. When I couldn’t take another moment of it, he undressed and put a condom on, then resumed his slow, delicate treatment of my body as he slid inside me.

I clung to him, hugging him close to me, trying to memorize the feel of his body as he made love to me. Each time his breath trailed along my skin, I shivered. His hair fell to the side of his face, the ends of it tickling my cheek. I brushed it away from his forehead, watching his every expression, locking eyes with him until I couldn’t take it anymore, and moaned softly.

He kissed me as I did, knowing I was getting close, knowing the surface of my skin was prickling with anticipation.

I love you, he mumbled against my mouth.

I loved him too, but all I could do was cry out as he pushed me closer and closer to the edge. He knew, though, and he kissed me again and again until I trembled beneath him, my body tightening as pleasure seized me. He kept moving, kept making love to me while I writhed, until his own groans told me he was about to finish. His eyes closed, his shoulders tensed, and then he was coming, grunting while I held him close.

I’m g-going to miss you, I said after we parted, my voice cracking.

Noah kissed my forehead before standing up. Gonna miss you too. But it’s gonna be okay, Miss Lacey. We’ll be back together before you know it.

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The first week Noah was in BC, I spent most of my suddenly drastic free time doing one of three things: talking on the phone with him, praying that he was safe, or crying because I missed him.

He had been gone six days when Jenny pulled me into the kitchen while Duncan and Tom were smoking outside. She poured two glasses of wine, crossed her legs, and looked at me expectantly.

What? I asked.

It’s time for girl talk, she said. Pretty sure I’ve never seen anyone’s eyes red so often, and if you cry any more, you might actually get dehydrated.

The wine Jenny poured was only slightly redder than the colour of my face. I touched the silver cross around my neck. I didn’t think anyone would notice.

Of course we notice, Lacey. Jenny looked sympathetic, but firm. I’ve also noticed when you’re not working, you spend almost all your time in the basement, alone, waiting for him to call.

I just miss Noah. I thought… It’s just been hard. I was thinking maybe I should just break my contract and go to Prince George.

Don’t do that, she said. You don’t want to burn bridges.

I sipped my wine and nodded but said nothing.

I know you miss him, she said. But girl, it’s just a month. Three weeks, now. You gotta remember you exist as a person outside of him.

I know that, I replied.

I know you know, but I also know it’s easy to forget those things when you’re in love. You can’t let your life revolve around him. She sipped her wine as she gathered her thoughts. You gotta have friends outside him. You know? If he’s your best friend, that’s okay. If he’s your only friend, that’s not.

He’s not my only friend.

Who’re your other friends?

Well, you and Tom, I said. And Duncan and Shannon and Tanya. Oh, and Leslie.

Leslie’s the same with Robbie, Jenny said. I gotta talk to her next, too. Besides, not that I don’t love you to pieces, but you met all of us through Noah. What about friends you haven’t met through him?

Um… I thought for a moment. Well, there are the other teachers at the school—

That you don’t see outside of work, Jenny pointed out.

Sean and Rick.

Your brother and his boyfriend don’t count, either.

You’re being very specific about what counts and what doesn’t, I grumbled.

Yes, I am. I’m worried that you don’t have a support circle outside of Noah. She poured more wine into my glass. You know I think Noah’s a good kid. You know as well as I do that he’d chop off each of his limbs before hurting you. And you know damn well that if anything happened, you’d be just as welcome here with me and Tom as Noah would. But you gotta have some healthy relationships outside of each other. He goes out with the guys after work. You should have something like that, too.

It was hard not to be hurt by her words, but I couldn’t be mad at her. She meant well, but Jenny didn’t know what it was like. Maybe if I was someone else, her concerns would have been valid, but I had left behind everything when I ran away from home. That included the few friends I had. And it wasn’t like my life had been normal to begin with.

Noah was my world. She was right that I should have a life outside of him, but I didn’t know how to make that happen.

While we’re having heavy conversations, Jenny said, breaking me out of my thoughts. I’m assuming the two of you will be pretty much confined to your bedroom for a couple days once you get to Prince George. You given any thought to birth control?

I stuttered for a moment, fiddling with the cross around my neck before finally answering her. We use condoms.

Maybe think about the pill or something, Jenny said gently. Not saying condoms don’t do the trick but given that you’ll probably be wrapped up in each other for however long once you see each other again, you know, better safe than sorry.

I nodded, unable to speak, and Jenny patted my arm as she tried not to laugh. Okay, I’m done mortifying you now. Finish up that wine and let’s get dinner going.

She helped me make an appointment to get on the pill, which I told Noah about the next evening on our nightly phone call.

You sure, Lacey? he asked, his voice quieter than normal.

Sure about what?

I heard him shift on the other side of the line. Not using… you know, condoms anymore. Or you want to use both?

What do you think?

He was quiet for a moment. Not up to me.

I’m not saying it is. I’m just wondering what you think.

You are way too far away from me right now to be having this conversation.

What’s that supposed to mean?

He chuckled. Just miss you.

Noah, tell me what you mean. Stop being so cryptic.

I had to wait for a moment for him to stop laughing before he spoke again.

Look, I know what I’m supposed to say, okay? Supposed to tell you we should use both, be super careful, wrap it before you tap it, whatever. His voice took on a strained quality, so subtle I nearly missed it, and I knew it wasn’t the only strained thing on his end of the line. I’m only human, Lacey. The thought of… you know, just being with you like that… like, fuck yeah, I want that. And now I can’t stop picturing it and you’re on the other side of the country and…

I licked my lips. And?

You gonna make me spell it out?

Maybe I want to hear you spell it out.

Miss Lacey, he chided. Been gone for a week and you’re suddenly all naughty?

I closed my eyes, picturing him, my panties dampening as I lay alone on the bed we’d shared for the entire winter. I miss you.

I miss you too, baby.

Did you just call me ‘baby?’

Sorry. Is that not okay?

I giggled. Nah, I kind of like it. I just don’t think you’ve ever called me a pet name before.

You want me to call you a pet name?

Well, if you want.

Hmm. I’ll try a few out. How about babycakes?

No!

Sugarplum?

I burst out laughing.

How about my sweet cookie? Ice cream sandwich? Waffles with strawberries and maple syrup?

Are you hungry or something? I asked between giggles. Why are these all food names?

Dunno, my vanilla cupcake with sprinkles and frosting.

You’re terrible.

If you say so, my darling avocado on toast.

Every night after that, he had a new nickname to call me. I laughed until tears leaked down my cheeks each time, unable to ever think of anything half as funny to call him back. It was one of those silly things that wouldn’t have made sense to anyone else and served to distract us whenever the conversation steered towards something that had to be left unrequited.

That is, until the third week we’d been apart and neither of us could handle it anymore.

Will you be working when I get in?

Nah, Noah replied. Talked to Jordan and I’m taking the day off. Probably the next day, too, but it’ll depend on what gets done this week.

Good, I said without thinking.

You think so?

You know I miss you.

He made a soft, frustrated noise. I can’t even tell you how much I miss you.

I think I have some idea.

We were quiet for a moment. I closed my eyes, wishing he was beside me on the bed instead of three and a half provinces away.

What are you thinking about, Miss Lacey? There was a low, husky quality to his voice that I recognized instantly.

Don’t do this to me, I warned. I can’t… you’re not here.

Can’t what?

Can’t stand how much I miss you, I said.

That’s not what you were going to say.

I grumbled in response.

Tell me, baby, he whispered.

Biting my lip, I shifted on the bed nervously. I can’t seem to remember not to put fresh panties on before talking to you. After we hang up, I have to change them again.

He groaned quietly. Don’t believe that’s what you were going to say, either, but it’s closer.

What are we doing, Noah?

Can stop if you’re not comfortable.

There was a warmth spreading through my lower stomach. My hands shook as I twisted the cross around my neck.

I just… I don’t know what to do, I whispered.

One day, I’ll stop hearing you say that. A musical sort of chuckle followed. God, will that be a sad day.

Already, I could feel my cheeks turning pink.

You’re blushing now, aren’t you?

How did you know?

His laugh was throatier that time. Fuck, Lacey. I miss you so much.

I miss you too.

You been taking care of yourself without me?

Noah! My cheeks went fully pink, as did my neck, my earlobes, and probably all the way down to my legs as he laughed.

Come on. Be honest.

I pressed my fingers to my face, trying to cool my skin down.

Lacey?

No, I whispered.

He seemed surprised.

Not at all?

My mouth had gone dry, though there was no telling if it was from nerves or from the fact that every ounce of moisture in my body seemed to have collected between my legs.

I’ve never done that, I admitted. You know that.

Yeah, but I thought… He trailed off, quiet for a moment.

I mean, I don’t care if you do, I said quickly. It’s not… I don’t think it’s like, wrong or something. I just… I can’t believe I’m admitting this. I didn’t think of it.

Didn’t think of what?

Doing it myself.

Jesus, Lacey. His voice was dripping, hoarse and low. And now?

I swallowed hard. I kind of want to try it.

Want me to hang up?

N-Not unless you want to.

There it was, the stutter again. One day, I’d keep myself from choking on my words.

Fuck, he muttered. You don’t even know what I’d give to be there right now.

If you were here, I wouldn’t—

Technicalities, he said. Tell me what you’re doing.

I glanced down at my body. R-Right now? Just lying on our bed.

You dressed?

In my pajamas, yeah.

Mmm. Which ones?

I laughed. The plaid shorts and, um, one of your T-shirts.

What? Which T-shirt?

The green one.

Fuck, I was looking for that. Did I leave it there or did you take it?

I took it.

He laughed. Little thief. Luckily I love you.

I was going to give it back… eventually.

Ah, looks better on you, he said. You got a bra on, or are your nipples pressing into that T-shirt?

N-No bra.

Mmm. And I already know you got panties on.

They’re a little, um, wet right now.

Yeah? Why’s that?

You know why.

You gotta tell me, Miss Lacey. I’m not there with you.

I bit my lip. Because I-I’m really turned on?

You sure about that?

I grimaced. I’m sorry, Noah. I’m so bad at this. I don’t know what to say.

S’okay, he said. Just like hearing your voice.

Is that all?

And picturing you. I heard him shift, the phone rustling slightly as he spoke.

And you? What are you doing?

Gonna take my cock out right away here, if that’s okay with you.

I blushed as he spoke. Yeah, that’s okay with me.

Think maybe you should touch yourself too?

Yes. I—yes.

Put your hand under your shirt. Touch your nipples for me.

His voice was hypnotizing. I felt like I was almost meditating as he spoke, my body skipping the directions from my mind and responding only to his.

I slid my T-shirt—well, his T-shirt—up my stomach, my hands slipping beneath the fabric that still faintly smelled of him. Slowly, I touched my breast, cupping the swollen curve for a moment before trailing my fingers up to my nipple. When my fingertips brushed the hardened little nub, I inhaled, warm desire rushing down my body.

Noah heard me gasp and chuckled. Feel good?

Yes.

What are you doing?

T-Touching my… I mean, like kind of running my fingers across it. Wishing it was your hand and not mine.

He groaned and I heard the phone shift again. Same here, baby.

I could picture him, almost see him in front of me with his cock in his hand. My eyes fluttered closed as I pinched my nipple between my fingers, mimicking the way Noah touched me.

Talk to me, Lacey, he urged quietly.

Um. I sighed again, trying to think of what to say.

Tell me what you’re doing. What you’re feeling. What you’d do if I was with you.

If you were with me? A small noise of yearning left my throat. Christ, Noah. I’d have already pinned you down and sat on your cock. I’d be halfway to coming.

Why aren’t you halfway there now?

I… I’m just touching my nipple still.

Well, why don’t you try touching that wet little pussy for me?

I obeyed him, my hand moving down my stomach and to the waistband of my shorts. I didn’t bother removing them, just pushed my hand inside and slipped my fingers into my panties.

Talk to me.

I’m really wet, I said breathlessly.

How wet?

Your c-cock would just slide into me. You’d be buried inside me in one thrust.

Fuck! I could hear the strain in his voice. Keep talking, baby. Tell me more.

Fear almost stopped me, but as I traced the lips of my pussy with one shaking finger, I shook it off. What was there to be afraid of? Noah had patiently guided me through so many firsts. Maybe I didn’t know exactly what he wanted me to do, but I trusted him. If I was doing it wrong, he would tell me, reassure me, guide me again.

So I took a deep breath began to tell him everything. I told him how much I missed feeling his cock inside me, how I didn’t think he knew how good it felt to be stretched around him. I described how my pussy felt, how it ached for him and how good it felt to move my fingers in slow circles around my clit, but how it was nothing compared to how he touched me.

He was quiet as I told him how much I loved to suck his cock, how I loved to hear the noises he made when I tried to swallow him, how it felt when his fingers tightened in my hair and he came in my mouth. As I spoke, I rubbed my clit harder, desperate for the sweet relief of friction against my pussy.

Fuck, Lacey, he groaned when I paused to take a breath.

Want me to stop?

Oh fuck no, he said. Just can’t… fuck, if I were there with you…

I almost didn’t recognize the voice that came out of my mouth, the husky, throaty sound of eager desire dripping off each word. What would you do to me?

I’d be fucking you from behind, he said. Reaching around you and rubbing that perfect pussy of yours so I could feel you come on my cock. You got no idea, Lacey, no fucking clue how tight your pussy is. I feel like I’m gonna break you sometimes. But you get so wet, your pussy just drips and I can’t stop myself from just…

He grunted, his voice trailing off.

Keep talking. My hand was moving quickly and I could feel the slow unravel of an orgasm starting. I’m close, Noah. Talk to me.

Fuck, he said again. I want to be inside you. Want to feel you come. Feel your legs shake, your pussy fucking… just fucking tighten around me. Can’t even tell you what it feels like, it’s like heaven. And I wanna come inside you. Want you to feel it when I fucking… just fill you up with cum. I want to watch your face when I…

He trailed off again, and I moaned, my eyes squeezing shut. Something in me shifted, something that craved the feeling he was describing. We hadn’t done it like that, had never fucked without a condom, but suddenly I wanted nothing more than to feel him empty himself inside me.

Lacey, I’m gonna… His voice was strangled, pleading. Baby, come for me. Let me hear you. Please.

It was enough, and I cried out as my body shook, pressing my fingers hard against my clit as I came. It wasn’t the same, not like when Noah was with me, but it was good and explosive and blissful. I gasped for air as I finished, forgetting for a moment that I was on the phone.

I remembered when I heard Noah exhale and grunt, struggling valiantly to keep quiet as he came. Picturing his cock twitching as he spurted almost set me off again, but as soon as it happened, it was done.

I was quiet for a bit, not sure what to do or say as the afterglow of my orgasm faded from my body. My mind flitted from thought to thought. For a moment, I fell into that old trap of wondering how Noah could possibly find me attractive, how he could be so far away and yet find it arousing to think of me, of all people. I shook those thoughts off quickly; it didn’t matter why he found me beautiful. He did, and I thanked God for it.

Before the pause became unbearably long, Noah spoke. You there?

Yeah.

I fucking love you.

I grinned, picturing his face, the sheen of his skin whenever we finished having sex.

I fucking love you too.

He made a soft noise, and I sighed in response, the realization that we were still apart and still over a week away from being together again settling back in on me. Suddenly tears were pricking at my eyes, burning pockets of wetness as the loneliness washed over me again.

You okay? he asked.

I miss you.

I miss you too, my pumpkin spice cheesecake with real pumpkin, not that fake flavour crap that Starbucks uses in those shitty lattes every fall.

The tears still fell as I giggled, but when we hung up the phone, I didn’t have my usual post-call cry before falling asleep.

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Flying to Prince George would be my first time on an airplane and, aside from the short stretch of time between leaving home and meeting Noah on the train headed west, my first time travelling completely alone.

After passing through security, I found my gate and settled in a chair near the desk. The airport was busy and I didn’t want to lose myself amongst the throngs of people rushing here and there, rolling small suitcases behind them. I fidgeted in my seat as I waited, toying with my necklace until I grew scared it would break, too agitated to read, too nervous to leave the gate and the safety of my chair near the desk. I had headphones with me, but was concerned that I’d miss an important announcement if I put them in.

What I really wanted was to call Noah, but Toronto was three hours ahead of BC, so I was sure he was still asleep. Montreal, on the other hand…

Hey Lace, Sean said when I picked up the phone. Not on the plane yet?

Not yet.

You sound terrified.

A little. This place is so big.

Yeah, Pearson is like that, he said. Not the best place for your very first flight, but you’ll manage.

Thanks. What are you up to?

Working.

Oh. I grimaced. Sorry. I forgot it was a workday. I can let you go.

Nah, it’s fine. I needed a coffee break. Besides, if I’m on the phone with you, maybe it’ll save me another phone call from Mom.

Another one?

Sean sighed, and I heard papers shuffle in the background. Yeah. Her lawyer got another threatening call from Dad. He’s doing everything he can to stop the divorce. None of it’s going to work, of course, and it’s just making Mom’s case stronger…

But she’s scared.

′Course she’s scared. She had a fight with Alexandre last night because she got it into her head that Dad found out about him.

The conversation with Sean was helping me forget how nervous I was, but only because my stomach began twisting with anger instead of anxiety. Alexandre was Mom’s new… well, not boyfriend. Friend who was a man that she had feelings for and who reciprocated those feelings, but neither of them had taken any steps past that.

It was understandable, if not reasonable. Mom wasn’t technically divorced yet, even though she’d been separated from my