The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of the Whole Stupid World

By Matt Kracht

Let's face it—all birds are fascinating, wonderful, idiotic jerks—no matter where in the world they reside.

Following in the footsteps of the bestselling book The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America, this hilarious sequel ventures beyond to identify the stupidest birds around the world. Featuring birds from North and South America, Africa, Asia, Europe, and Oceania, author Matt Kracht identifies the dumb birds that manage to live all over the freaking place with snarky, yet accurate, names and humorous, anger-filled drawings.

This guide book details exactly how much these morons suck with facts about each bird's (annoying) call, its (stupid) migratory pattern, and its (downright tacky) markings. Complete with a matching game, bird descriptor checklist, tips on how to identify a bird (you can tell a lot by looking into a bird's eyes, for example), this profanity-laden book offers a balance of fact and wit that will appeal to hardcore birders and casual bird lovers (and haters) alike.

A MUST-HAVE: A must-have sequel to the bestselling parody book The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America.

UNIQUE & LAUGH-OUT-LOUD FUNNY: This is a great coffee table or bar top conversation-starting book. And a bonus, while the content is humorous, it is practical and useful!

A GREAT PRESENT: This is the perfect gift for the bird lovers and haters in your life. It also makes a great Mother's Day, Father's Day, birthday, retirement, or gag gift.

Perfect for:

• Birdwatching and nature enthusiasts
• Armchair birders (or nonbirders)
• Someone who needs a quirky gift for an animal lover friend
• People with serious birders in their lives who want something lighthearted

• Language: English
• Publisher: Chronicle Books Digital
• Release date: Jan 4, 2022
• ISBN: 9781797213415

Matt Kracht

Matt Kracht is a professional designer and art director based in Seattle who enjoys gazing out the window at the beautiful waters of Puget Sound and making fun of birds.

Book preview

Section 1:

The Great Big World of Fucking Birds

If you ask a scientist how birds are distributed across our planet, they will likely try to tell you all about zoogeographical regions. Like most science, it’s pretty accurate but boring and very sure of itself. It is also subject to change over time.

Feel free to tune out and think about something pleasant while your scientist friend goes on and on about the quantification of phylogenetic affinities and uses phrases like further elucidating phenomena, because they are a didactic prick and much too busy enjoying the sound of their own voice to notice that your eyes have glazed over. Here is all that you really need to know about this:

There are six or seven areas across the globe that have been defined by animal geographers based on the distributions of distinctive animal life.

There. That’s really it. But if you are interested in the history of this, a whole bunch of scientists in the 1800s argued about these regions and how many there were. In 1876, a British explorer and naturalist named Alfred Russel Wallace won this tedious nerd competition, so now we all have to call him the father of biogeography and reference the regions he defined. (Sorry, Ludwig Karl Schmarda, your book, Die geographische Verbreitung der Thiere [1853], was an excellent try, but you can shove it, as far as biogeographical scientists are concerned.)

Today we call these zoogeographical regions the Nearctic, Neotropical, Palearctic, Afrotropic, Indomalayan, and Australasian realms—although, when they were named by Wallace, the Afrotropical realm was known as Ethiopian, the Indomalayan realm was called Oriental, and the Australasian realm was considered simply Australia. It’s fucked up, I know. I guess it was a different time. It’s kind of like when your grandfather tells a story that begins with the phrase Now, you know I’m not racist, but …

For the purpose of this book, however, let us ignore Wallace and the culturally insensitive ideas of biodistribution, which predominated the nineteenth century’s scientific

Reviews for The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of the Whole Stupid World

[Michelle Edwards · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

this book was hilarious because I feel the same way about birds ever since my sister’s bird pecked my ear when I was 5. Fuck birds.

[amanda4242_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Kind of dumb, but I was chuckling all the way through. I probably wouldn't read this one cover to cover again, but I'd love to have a copy so I could flip through it occasionally.Received via NetGalley.

[montzaleew · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of the Whole Stupid Worldby Matt KrachtChronicle BooksI have to say that I read the first book and bought it. I couldn't wait for another one! This one didn't disappoint. I loved it! I kept me laughing at the silly descriptions of birds, the drawings, the added notes, and all the extra info! LOL! Having a whole world of birds to pick from really added to the fun!Although it was hilarious, there was a bit of education in there too. I mostly just read it for the fun. I love birds and humor so this was perfect. This would be the perfect gift for animal or bird lovers. (Or for someone that just needs a pick-me-up.)I really enjoyed the new exercises at the end of the book! That was a hoot! So funny. Will be buying this after it comes out too!I want to thank the publisher and NetGalley for letting me read this terrific book!