FEAR NO MORE: COMPETING WITH CONFIDENCE

By Barbara Cecil and Gerianne Darnell

Do you feel you are your dog's greatest asset in practice and his greatest liability in the ring? Do you feel wobbly when you heel and dizzy when you change direction? Is it you who suffers from DDD, not your dog? Do you ever wonder why you spend so much time and money making yourself miserable? Have you ever realized as you are leaving the ring that you have just gone longer without breathing than is humanly possible? Do you obsess over your handling errors and your dog's performance? If you answered yes to any of these questions, this is just the book for you! Read it, use it. And make competing with your dog the enjoyable experience you've always wanted it to be.

• Language: English
• Publisher: T9E Publishing
• Release date: Jan 1, 2002
• ISBN: 9781617811760

Barbara Cecil

My name is Barbara Cecil, one of Ruby's three daughters and one of Anna's grand children. I have known grandmother, Anna Margaret Christy Fish, all my life and loved her very much which is why i wrote her story. I know there are lessons in it for all women. I hope you find some wisdom here.

Book preview

FEAR NO MORE:

COMPETING WITH CONFIDENCE

By Barbara Cecil and Gerianne Darnell

T9E Publishing, Council Bluffs, Iowa

Fear No More:

Competing With Confidence

By Barbara Cecil and Gerianne Darnell

Published by:     T9E Publishing

11092 240th Street

Council Bluffs, IA 51503

Copyright © 2002 by Barbara Cecil and Gerianne Darnell

Library of Congress Control Number: 2002093294

Cover Design by Julie Wood-Holmlund, Bellevue, Nebraska

Excerpts:

From That Winning Feeling! Program Your Mind For Peak Performance by Jane Savoie, North Pomfret, Vermont: Trafalgar Square Publishing. Copyright 1992 by Jane Savoie. Reprinted by permission of Jane Savoie and Trafalgar Square Publishing.

From Canine Acupressure, A Treatment Workbook by Nancy Zidonis and Marie Soderberg, Parker, Colorado: Equine Acupressure Incorporated. Copyright 1995 by Nancy Zidonis and Marie Soderberg. Reprinted by permission of the authors.

From Psycho-Cybernetics 2000 by Bobbe Sommer, PhD., New Jersey: Prentice Hall. Copyright 1993 by Maxwell Maltz, Psycho-Cybernetics Foundation, Inc. Reprinted by permission.

Chris Zink, DVM, PhD., private correspondence. Reprinted by permission of Chris Zink.

Bizarro, Non Sequitur, Cathy, and Mister Boffo cartoons reprinted with special permission of Universal Press Syndicate. All rights reserved.

Mutts, Sherman’s Lagoon, Edge City, Lockhoms and Crock cartoons reprinted with special permission of King Features Syndicate. All rights reserved.

Shoe cartoons reprinted with special permission of Tribune Media Services. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief excerpts quoted in reviews. All rights reserved.

Second Printing, 2003

Printed in the United States of America

PREFACE

You can find out in less than a minute if you need this book by asking yourself the following questions:

1. Do you feel you are your dog’s greatest asset in practice and his greatest liability in the ring?

2. Do you feel wobbly when you heel and dizzy when you change direction?

3. Is it you who suffers from DDD (Dog Show Diarrhea), not your dog?

4. Do you ever wonder why you spend so much time and money making yourself miserable?

5. Have you ever realized as you are leaving the ring that you have just gone longer without breathing than is humanly possible?

6. Has anyone ever commented that when you are showing, you appear to be ill or in pain?

7. Is I’ve got to get out of here! one of your first thoughts upon arriving at a show site?

8. In the ring, does your dog sometimes act as though he’s never seen you before?

9. Do you obsess over your handling errors and your dog’s performance?

10. Do you have dozens of sources for training your dog, but not a single one for training your mind?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, we have just the book for you! It’s right here in your hands. Read it. Use it. And then make competing with your dog the enjoyable experience you’ve always wanted it to be.

This Book Is Dedicated To A Never-Ending Source of Inspiration: Our Dogs, Past And Present

Gerianne, Beginning in 1977…

Esther - Basset Hound

Gerianne’s Esther Marie UDTX, Can CDX TD, Ber CD

Smokey - Basset Hound

Hound BIS CH Silver Bow’s Smoke Ring CD

Skye - Border Collie

OTCH Schuyler King TD, Can CD

Zipper - Papillon

Am/Can CH OTCH Denzel Loteki Top Secret TDX, Can CDX TD, TDI

Zack - Papillon

Am/Can CH Am/Can OTCH UOCH UACHX Loteki Sudden Impulse UDX TDX MX MXJ, AD VAD, EAC-V EJC-V NGC-V NAC, CL4-RF CL3-HS, Can UDT

Rudy - Papillon

OTCH UUD UACH Loteki Secret Agent UDX TDX MX MXJ NJP, PD1, OAC OJC-V NGC NJC TN-N, CL4-RF CL3-HS, TDI

Tish - Papillon

Am/Can CH UCD Loteki Superstitious CD NA NAJ

Rumor - Papillon

Am/Can CH OTCH MACH UCDX UAg2 Loteki Denzel Spread The Word UDX TD MX MXJ AXP AJP, AD PDII, EAC-V EJC-V OAC OJC NGC TN-N TG-N WV-N, CL4-RFH CL3-S

Riva - Border Collie

V CH UCD UAg1 Outburst Chasing Butterflies CD TD HSAs MX MXJ, STDsd, PDI, EAC OGC OJC TN-O WV-N, CL3-SFH

Raymond - Border Collie

CH Ettrick On Edge PT, TN-N

Belle - Golden Retriever

UCDX Cecil’s Southern Belle CDX

Barbara, Beginning in 1978 …

Mr. Bear - Golden Retriever

UCDX Just About A Bear CDX, TDI

Sprite - Border Collie

UUD Sprite UD

Mickey - Papillon

CH UCDX Mickthea Regalo CDX, TDI

Tuffy - Papillon

CH UCD Mickthea Neblina CD

Reina - Papillon

American/Mexican/International CH OTCH UCDX Mickthea Reina TDX

Dinkie - Papillon

CH UCDX Mickthea Yvonne UD

Tootsie - Papillon

UCDX Aérien Avant Tout CDX TDX

Celina - Papillon

CH Aérien Celina of Cadaga TD AX NAJ, OAC NJC, RS-O JS-N

Bébé - Papillon

OTCH MACH NATCH ATCH UOCH Aérien Cadaga Bocca Baciata UDX TD MX MXJ, ASCA UD, MAD RM SM JM, S-EJC-V S-EGC-V, JS-E-SP GS-E-SP

Pistol - Löwchen

TayWil’s Aérien Pistil Pete MX MXJ, EAC EJC EGC WV-N TN-N, RS-E GS-E JS-E

Table of Contents

Preface

Chapter 1   Understanding Fear

Chapter 2   Goal Setting

Chapter 3   Self Talk, Affirmations, and Trigger Words

Chapter 4   Breathing

Chapter 5   Relaxation

Chapter 6   The Power of the Physical

Chapter 7   Potions and Pills

Chapter 8   What You Drink, Eat, Smell, and Hear

Chapter 9   In Homage to Maxwell Maltz

Chapter 10 More From the Mind of Maltz

Chapter 11 Finding Flow

Chapter 12 Quick Fixes

Recommended Reading

CHAPTER 1

FACING FEAR

We know why you’re reading this book. It’s the same reason we wrote it.

It is because you are savvy enough to realize that it’s the trainer with the best mental game who has the competitive advantage. Almost everyone today has access to the same good how to dog training information; it’s the game that is played in your mind, the one that requires an understanding and application of sports psychology, that is going to make the difference.

There’s the need for knowledge, but there’s also more: You’re scared. You are so scared you are going to quit showing if you can’t get this nerve thing under control!

We believe the information in this book can help. Everything here has been carefully researched; we’ve tried out almost all of it on ourselves, and some of the suggestions have had dramatic and positive results. Do read the entire book (you’ve already read the last chapter first, haven’t you?), because all the ideas reinforce each other. Plus, you never know when a particular idea, perhaps from a discipline you knew nothing about before, will hit home.

Before we get into how to fix it, though, it might be a good idea to investigate how and why it broke. The dog game is supposed to be fun, and sometimes, especially if you win, it is. (Unfortunately, when you do win, the fun usually occurs only after you’ve left the ring!) Most of the time you are left wondering why?

Why are you up and driving before dawn to some cold arena in the middle of nowhere, having spent entry money you might as well have tossed out the car window, to compete with a dog who would just as soon be back home with you in bed? Why are you so nervous and apprehensive, self-conscious and full of doubt, that you have made yourself physically ill?

This is a game? Yes, it is. And this book was written to help you deal with your fear so that you can play. Remember why you got into this game in the first place? It was to have fun competing with your dog!

In this chapter we’re going to help you look fear squarely in its face: What is fear, and why does it get such a grip on you? We’ll also try to answer the eternal question that lies, bottom line, behind the fear: Can I find true happiness in dog sports?

In Chapter 2 you’ll find detailed instructions for goal setting and why setting a goal such as, I’ll try not to be scared is going to do you much more harm than good.

In Chapter 3 we discuss the self-fulfilling power of words, and in Chapter 4 you will discover how something as simple as breathing correctly can calm your brain as well as your body.

In Chapter 5 you will learn how to physically relax, and in Chapter 6 you’ll learn some alternative relaxation techniques.

In Chapter 7 you will learn about herbs and flowers and even vitamins, minerals, and hormones known for their calming effects.

What you should eat (put down that Egg McMuffin now!), drink, smell and hear are in Chapter 8.

Chapters 9 and 10 delve into the wisdom of Psycho-Cybernetics and their interpreter for our time, Jane Savoie.

Chapter 11 helps you find the zone, and Chapter 12, Quick Fixes, is the chapter you’ve probably already read.

We’ve tried to cover it all, every possible avenue that leads to calm, and we will start right now by talking about the fear that got you here in the first place.

All We Have To Fear Is Fear Itself

The nervousness and anxiety that accompany competition can range from butterflies in your stomach to a bona fide panic attack. What happens when the flight-or-fight response is evoked is not all in your mind. It’s all over your body!

When anxiety hormones are secreted from the adrenal gland, they increase your heart rate and blood pressure, rate of breathing, blood flow to the muscles, muscle tension, sweating, and blood sugar levels. They decrease salivation, leaving you feeling like you have a mouth full of cotton, and they can either increase or decrease the action of the stomach and intestines, which will leave you looking for the nearest bathroom. Even the composition of your blood changes slightly to make it more prone to clotting, just in case you are slashed by the saber-tooth tiger that awaits you in the ring!

Even more intense feelings can accompany the extreme flight-or-fight of a panic attack: shortness of breath, a smothering, claustrophobic sensation, heart palpitations, dizziness, hot flashes or chills, trembling, nausea, a feeling of unreality, and a distorted perception of the passage of time. A person suffering from extreme anxiety is often overwhelmed by a sense of impending disaster which makes it impossible to think clearly.

In the face of a threat such as an assault, an accident, or a natural disaster, this type of reaction would be expected. Competing with your dog, however, is not a disaster (well, perhaps it could be, but that’s not the subject of this book), so a panic attack response should not be the norm.

How did we become so fearful and negative about a sport that we have freely chosen to play? In a line of thought further explored by Maxwell Maltz in Chapters 9 and 10 of this book, we can always blame our parents! They used fear to keep us safe. Our parents taught us, with the most loving intentions, to fear anything new. How many times, even as an adult, have they admonished you to Be careful!? Ever heard them say, Goodbye, and be daring!?

As very young children we were also taught, through intense cultural conditioning, to accept the negative as the norm. Several studies have reported that the average two-year old child hears over 400 negative statements a day, versus 32 positive statements. That’s a ratio of 13 to one! It’s no wonder that as adults we have to make a conscious effort to focus on the positive. What to do? Maxwell Maltz would have admonished, Enough blaming the past! You’re all grown up and your life is in your own hands now!

Well, even with Maltz’ dose of reality therapy, we still believe that competition can be stressful. (The term stress, by the way, refers to the reaction to a physical, mental, or emotional stimulus that upsets the body’s natural balance.) Stress is an unavoidable part of life, but at dog events we create even more stress of our own, turning something benign into a phYSical, mental, and emotional event so full of angst it can make us physically ill.

The following example should sound familiar. You think about your upcoming event and tell yourself that if you don’t do well, you’ve wasted your time, money and effort. You’ve sacrificed for nothing. You have to win to make it worthwhile. All of this translates into pressure, extra stress that you’ve created just to heap on yourself!

Yes, by its very nature, competition includes the stress of putting yourself on the line and taking risks. But think about your last several dog events and ask yourself this question: Which emotion did risk-taking evoke, fear or excitement? Well, guess what? They are essentially the same thing! It’s all a matter of perspective. Even if you hate the fear and crave the excitement, either answer would be correct because fear and excitement are pretty much the same physiological and emotional reaction!

Peter McWilliams, in his book Life 101 noted, With fear, we put a negative spin on things: ‘Oh, no!’ With excitement, we give it some positive English: ‘Oh, boy!’ We must persistently and convincingly tell ourselves that the fear is here - with its gifts of energy and heightened awareness - so we can do our best and learn the most in a new situation. Like so many psychologists, McWilliams believes that if you want to conquer fear, whatever it is you fear doing is the very next thing you need to do. You can then use fear for its true purpose: free energy! You’ll be able to say, Welcome! This might be a challenge! I could use the extra boost!

Jane Savoie, author of That Winning Feeling! agrees:

When faced with the initial prospect of competing, don’t let fear stop you. Fear comes in many forms - fear of failure, fear of looking foolish….To win, you must be willing to take a risk. And so what if you blow it. A year, 6 months, even one month from now, it really won’t matter and will be mostly forgotten. Each time you make a mistake, consider it part of your education: learn from it and try again. It’s the persistence, the trying again, that will eventually enable you to overcome your anxiety and achieve your goals. Understand that action cures fear. Inaction feeds fear. The longer you procrastinate, the larger that mental monster grows. You’ll derive enormous personal satisfaction from controlling your fears, rather than allowing them to control you.

Here’s another self-revelatory question: Do you view and measure achievement in dog sports primarily by how often you win and by how often you beat someone or everyone else? If the answer is yes, you must realize that most of your stress factors are based on your huge ego-investment in this sport. Every time you compete you are having to deal with the big question of, "How does this reflect on me?"

Not sure about your ego investment? It is easy to recognize because it is almost always phrased as a what if question. What if I don’t qualify? or What if I forget the course? When you become aware of what if questions, stop and ask yourself, Just who am I trying to impress? or, if you fear not doing well, From whose opinion am I protecting myself?

Once you’ve uncovered an ego-investment, you can always use so-what-if to turn it into something more positive. (Example: What if I don’t qualify? I get to go to another dog show!) In this book we view achievement as an improvement in skill level and/or a smooth transition into the next level of competition. Achievement should never be measured or defined by comparing your performance to the performance of someone or everyone else.

As a stress factor, ego-investment is a solvable problem. If you’ve got it, you should start working immediately to reduce or eliminate it. All it really takes is recognizing the ego-investment in yourself and owning up to it. Until you do,