Spare

By Prince Harry The Duke of Sussex

It was one of the most searing images of the twentieth century: two young boys, two princes, walking behind their mother’s coffin as the world watched in sorrow—and horror. As Princess Diana was laid to rest, billions wondered what Prince William and Prince Harry must be thinking and feeling—and how their lives would play out from that point on.

For Harry, this is that story at last.

Before losing his mother, twelve-year-old Prince Harry was known as the carefree one, the happy-go-lucky Spare to the more serious Heir. Grief changed everything. He struggled at school, struggled with anger, with loneliness—and, because he blamed the press for his mother’s death, he struggled to accept life in the spotlight. 

At twenty-one, he joined the British Army. The discipline gave him structure, and two combat tours made him a hero at home. But he soon felt more lost than ever, suffering from post-traumatic stress and prone to crippling panic attacks. Above all, he couldn’t find true love.

Then he met Meghan. The world was swept away by the couple’s cinematic romance and rejoiced in their fairy-tale wedding. But from the beginning, Harry and Meghan were preyed upon by the press, subjected to waves of abuse, racism, and lies. Watching his wife suffer, their safety and mental health at risk, Harry saw no other way to prevent the tragedy of history repeating itself but to flee his mother country. Over the centuries, leaving the Royal Family was an act few had dared. The last to try, in fact, had been his mother. . . .

For the first time, Prince Harry tells his own story, chronicling his journey with raw, unflinching honesty. A landmark publication, Spare is full of insight, revelation, self-examination, and hard-won wisdom about the eternal power of love over grief.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Random House Canada
• Release date: Jan 10, 2023
• ISBN: 9781039003767

Reviews for Spare

[sanyamakadi · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I liked this more than I thought I would. Harry was a charming narrator, and I have unique lived experiences that helped me to identify with parts of his life--I have worked in Africa in public health, including living in Lesotho, so I absolutely identify with how the place and the people transformed him.

[jreynolds1959 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Who knew that being a royal could be so hard? Harry's life has been really tough.

[lilac_lily01 · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

Spare” by Prince Harry reads like a 400-page therapy session that somehow escaped the privacy of his counselor’s office. There’s oversharing, self-pity, and a steady drip of grievances that would make even a Kardashian blush. Instead of insight or growth, we get royal name-dropping and endless self-reflection. It’s less a memoir and more a public airing of what should’ve stayed a family group chat.

[trayceebee · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I truly enjoyed this book. I loved hearing Prince Harry read it himself. I think he did a fabulous job of writing, which is amazing considering how much he claims to hate reading and doing things of that nature. Still, it's very thorough, beginning with the death of his mother and wrapping up at the death of Queen Elizabeth. I wish Harry and his family all the best!!!

[jenniferrobb · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I've never been one who wanted to read stories about the British monarchy--in part because I felt doing so would reinforce the press/paparazzi behavior of invading the privacy of celebrities and the famous. I don't know why I decided to read this book given that.

I do feel sad that the brothers no longer seem close--I don't know if that was inevitable as they both matured or if it is the result of the monarchic system or some other reason.

I do think Harry views this as truth--I suspect that the real truth lies somewhere between the stories from several viewpoints. If Harry and Megan truly left to try to keep their family safe, then I hope they succeed in that.

[delphimo_1 · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

Spare by Prince Harry begins well, but quickly falls into a complaining story of all the wrongs thrown on poor Harry, the second child of Princess Diana. Harry constantly bemoans the issue that he reigns as the “Spare” and not an important member of the royal family. All attention lands on the shoulders of William. Harry seeks attention by misbehaving everywhere. He marries an unacceptable woman, and then moves to the United States to live. Where is his loyalty for friends and family in England. Harry feels that the stress lands too heavily on him. The book pounds home the childishness of Harry, and Harry’s attempt to boost his income. Not an enjoyable book.

[oscarwilde87_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This memoir of the first thirty-something years of Prince Harry's life has been widely discussed in the media and there is probably not too much left unsaid about it. In the book, Harry relates memories of his childhood, writes about dealing with the tragic death of his mother, royal life, his time in the military, getting to know Meghan and leaving Britain. First and foremost he writes about his relation with the press and how paparazzi make his life a living hell. While all of this is interesting to read, I found the whole book not as sensational. I knew that as a royal you were constantly subjected to being in the news, but the extent of being photographed every instant of your life and being harassed by paparazzi every step of your way was surprising to me. I would have thought that the palace had more clout in getting some privacy, making stories go away or would at least sue media outlets for libel more often. The one thing that bugged me about the book - but this was to be expected, it being a memoir - is the degree of subjectivity that shines through in various places. Of course, this is a portrayal of Harry's view, but somehow the descriptions feel exceptionally one-sided sometimes. Then again, this puts more urgency behind his call for more privacy. In that sense, I think it is completely fair and everyone knows that this is Harry's opinion. I would not dare to judge what this man has to go through and I found myself really rooting for him. Overall, I did enjoy reading the book. 3.5 stars.

[corliss12000 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Really never been a big fan of „the royals“ but all the hoopla over Meghan piqued my curiosity. Well written book, gives a lot of insight into the behind the scenes machinations of “The Firm” and their hangers on.

[whisper1_1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I read this book because it is a best selling controversial telling of memories. I took it as one person reflecting on his thoughts of his life at a specific time. Just as his early days of roaming Balmoral Castle (which I tremendously enjoyed learned about,) his interations with his father, mother and bother, and his difficult time of acceptiong the death of his mother is a telling of that time, why can't the rest of his memories be just that -- his memories -- his throughts!!

I know this is a book laden with opinions. I simply enjoyed the descripton of the castles, the strick hierachtical british system, and his love of his granny and mother. In the beginning of the book his father is portrayed as a cold man, but someone who really tries to break down barriers. Give the father a break for trying, which is what I think Harry is trying to do.

I love that his father calls him "Darling Boy!." Harry's recollections of treatment after his mother died and Camilla came into the picture is of course, his view. It should remain just that ... his view.

Frankly, I didn't understand why this singular book caused such a racus. Harry explained how he felt, and backed it up with examples. I'm not sure he did this to harm which is what he is accused of.

San, British aristocracy, I am sure that if I wrote a book about each of my sisters, my father, my mother and granny, they would not accept my feelings and thoughts. But that is exactly what they would be, ie my remembrances.

I am saying that I don't understand what all the hupla is about. Let the Darling Boy have his memories. Let him tell the reader what he thought. Why add all the drama to his opinions. IF he is hurt then let him express this opinion. I just don't understand this ostrazation and drama.

[flourgirl49 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Talk about the ultimate dysfunctional family - that would be the royal family of today. We've heard so much about Harry and Meghan's problems and how they were treated, so it's interesting to read Harry's take on what happened. It's hard to believe that Harry and William's relationship is as fractured and ugly as Harry states it is, but, if so, it is really sad. The section about Harry's involvement in the war in Afghanistan is interesting, although somewhat lengthy. Still not sure if I can believe everything he wrote, but I came away from this having a more positive view of Harry than I had previously, given that the death of his mother caused him great unresolved trauma for a very long time.

[bambean-534686 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

This book made me sad for lots of different reasons: the way that William is portrayed; how lost Harry seems; the feeling that he is selling out his family; the lack of warmth; how Harry is showing himself as a victim and the rest of the family as bullies. I'm not sure why I read it even, maybe to see how the other half lives? I almost wish I hadn't now.

[whybehave2002 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I listened to this intentionally and I am so happy that I did! I could listen to Prince Harry endlessly. A soft spoken, even speech pattern and so sincere that I truly want to be his friend. I won't lie, the audio was 19 hours and thus took more time than usual. He is forthright, he keeps things positive and you can see the growth that has put him where he is today. Everything he is doing to be a steady good person is awe-inspiring. Like his mom, he takes the beating but holds his head up to continue life as she would have, enjoying everything it gives him.

[daumari · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Moved this to the front of my library queue when someone else in my bump group started reading, though she DNF'd because she found the earlier chapters boring. Overall, I liked this, as a voice from within the fishbowl of royalty that doesn't hold to the Firm's typical silence (while fiction, my main takeaway from The Crown is that there's an awful lot of wrangling just to have the appearance of no opinion/neutrality), and I'm glad that as spare he can wrench himself away into building his own path while condemning the obsessives that killed his mother and nearly killed his wife.

Structurally, I appreciate the sections titled after stanzas of Invictus, though the contiguous chapter segments were a choice. I read a physical copy, but I can imagine how the audiobook would be compelling. His reflections on Afghanistan remind me I haven't read as many retrospectives of that era (and I'm sure perspectives will shift as we get further away from it), but he's straightforward on what it meant to be there, engaging with allies and enemies.

[doehlberg63 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I think this is a very interesting book. I hope that Prince Harry does read his reviews. I am not going to give away much in spoiler alerts. I will say that probably nearly every reader has a predetermined attitude toward Prince Harry before reading this book. I did, in a favorable way. This did not change. In fact, it became more favorable. If you believe royals are right at all cost, and family can be sacrificed to run a kingdom, then you are going to call everything he said a pack of lies. If you can see how royal families like regular families play favorites, pit one against another, say one thing and do another, and see beyond the fog to know the crap from the good, then you will love this book. I hope that Harry and Meghan have a splendid life being a totally normal couple, raising healthy children and keeping the spirit of servitude toward the less fortunate as Princess Dianna did. I would love to meet both of them in person one day. I don't think I would feel awkward or put on airs just for them. The only thing I would like to add is regarding the brief encounter mentioned with the fortuneteller. Please, Harry and Meghan, just don't! It is powers of the devil. They are allowed to know limited information about you, to deceive you in the devil's ways. If you want confirmation that your life has meaning, and you will get your reward, seek Christ. If you need beginner tools, there is a phone app called YouVersion, and a TV show called The 700 Club. Those are great starting points, and they would LOVE to have you on that show, I am sure, if you are followers of Christ with your personal story to tell. I already envision great things for Harry and Meghan by breaking protocol and breaking free. Now is your time to fly and be happy! Honestly, there are rumors that England is part of the One World Order to be, and it a nutshell, it is going to be evil. I think Harry got a good taste of the birth pains by living among it. I won't even discuss each of his family members, but will say that honestly, from reading EVERYTHING, that his Granny and his mom were his only true blue supporters!

[fromthecomfychair · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Since I don't live in Britain, and don't follow their tabloids, I was unaware of the extent to which the Royal Family live in gilded cages. But more, I was unaware of the stories concocted about them.

Clearly, Harry has been hurt by the lies, and the cameras, and the lack of privacy. I can believe the intrigues of the palace staff; it is harder to believe the level of estrangement he and Megan have from the rest of the family. Although, maybe not. Many families, mine included, have experienced estrangement for less cause.

I do think this memoir could have been edited down a bit. It does go into more detail than necessary, and sometimes I think Harry over shares. But it's his story. It's good to have some understanding of what people in the public eye experience. Who would want to trade places with him?

[anniik_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

TW/CW: Death of a parent, sexuality, war

RATING: 4/5

REVIEW: I have read history books of English history my whole life (and studied it in school), so I was fascinated to read this book. It was a compelling book that kept the reader engaged, no doubt, but my overall feel of it is that it’s definitely one-sided and it’s impossible to know for sure how true it is.

The good thing is that it doesn’t try to hide that fact – it doesn’t try to deny that it’s biased and possibly not the entire story.

Honestly, that’s what a memoir is, so it fits that quite well.

There was a little more emphasis and detail than I would have liked when it came down to his military service, but that’s mostly just because I don’t find that interesting.

All in all, I enjoyed this book and I think it makes an entertaining polemic.

[philae_02 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Spare by Prince Harry — there are a lot of different opinions regarding this book and what he had to say. I remember all the media attention he had gotten for writing his autobiography/memoir (both positive and negative) when the book was first released. But most importantly, he shared his personal experiences, as he experienced them, and for that I commend him.

[bookescapest · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I found this book interesting in ways that I never expected. I had no idea of the limited control that the monarchy offers the people within the family. To have to schedule times to see people to discuss issues and to have press agents working against each other is so sad. It was also sad to hear about all of the jealous and competition that the royal family holds for each other, but it makes sense when you think about it. I also had no idea that King Charles is the one who decides what events you are to attend and how much you are to be seen in public and controls what charities you are able to be part of. I can't blame Harry for wanting more freedom from a life like that. So often, in America, we are told that being a prince or princess is the ultimate life and something to aspire to. This book was a great eye opener of what a gilded cage it is. Whether you like HRH Harry or Megan Markle, you can get a sense of everything that he had to go through and how he found his passions. Regardless of what I feel about the royal family, I enjoyed this book and ended up with a greater understanding of royal life...and royal sacrifice.

[dianekeenoy · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I have to admit that I pretty much skimmed the first and second parts of the book. I was ready to put it down but started reading the third part which is how he met his wife and couldn't put it down. You can see how much they love each other. What they went through with the press and the lack of support from the royal family is very sad.

[mojomomma_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I enjoyed this more than I expected. Prince Harry writes about his life, beginning with the dealth of his mother in 1997 and up to the point where he and his wife Meaghan split from the family to move to the U.S.

[kalliegrace · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I don't have any great attachment to British royalty, so I'm not coming into this with any knowledge of these events from others' perspectives. I found this to be engaging and interesting, and maybe more of a glimpse into Harry's mental state than he wanted to provide. While he does talk about therapy and mental health, it's clear he has a lot more to work through. I am an "eat the rich" sort of person, but I really think the amount of responsibility expected from those with wealth and status is impossible for a human to cope with. I'm glad he's stepping away from the legacy of his family and finding a new way to live.

[tx1955 · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

When Prince Harry admitted that he lies how could you believe anything that he wrote.

[niaomiya · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I read this book because I was curious to get some insight into what was REALLY going on with Harry and Meghan. Tabloids will say anything. Harry is bluntly forthright in telling how things were, starting from the death of his mother, through his various relationships, his stint in the military, and up to the current situation with him and the Duchess and their two kids.

I have never been super fascinated with the British royal family, and I don't follow them rabidly in the papers. However, it would be impossible to have lived the past few decades without hearing about Harry's escapades or the women he was dating. I liked that in "Spare" Harry doesn't hold back in talking about his feelings or in setting the record straight. I feel for him and everything that he has had to endure because of being a royal, and it is infuriating to find out how the Palace didn't have his back or Meghan's back and how leaks to the press were coming from very high up (sometimes from Prince Charles himself).

The book ends on a somewhat hopeful note, as Harry and his family are settled in Santa Barbara, CA and seem to be able to have some semblance of peace. Of course they will always be of interest to the media, but not to the rabid extent that they are to the British tabloids. (It was actually frightening to read about how the press would hound him and his girlfriends through the years.) I sincerely hope that he and his family find some peace to just live their lives as they would like.

[squeakychu · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I found this to be a beautiful but sad story. I read it to learn more about Prince Harry and Meghan’s break from the monarchy in the United Kingdom. What I got was an intensely detailed and personal account of Prince Harry’s life through the time of his Granny’s death and funeral. I have no love for the monarchy, and now I have even less. What I wish for Prince Harry and Meghan is a life of fulfillment and safety, but, more importantly, a life of freedom to do what they choose, without prying eyes, and freedom from other supposedly more powerful people telling them what they cannot do.

[katyefk · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Interesting story. Not sure it should have been published as the dignity of the Royal Family is best maintained by mystery and silence. But the embedded racism and entitlement is toxic at this point. We all have issues in our families and most of us do not write a book about them to try to resolve our suffering.

[mav1n1libby · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I listened to it and thought it was absolutely amazing that Harry was the one who read this. It's a biography and like all biographies, I take everything with a grain of salt because it's just one person's perspective, but I still enjoyed listening to it and all the stories he told. I'd love to hear the perspective of his brother and dad, but I doubt that will ever happen. I bet they're annoyed this book came out. But like all things political and all big money families, everything is corrupt and who knows what we should believe. I've never been a big fan of media and even if our friend Harry is exaggerating, I'm sure there's lots of truth in the articles and the lies that media portrays.

Anyway, still a great listen! It makes me feel sad for Princess Diana and her untimely death. Hey, who knows, maybe she'll show up alive one day! :)

[ionas_7 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I wasn’t able to finish the book since I had to return it to the library: there were people queuing to read it.

I was impressed by Harry’s courage to write the book, as his mother had courage, and had a TV interview about her difficulties with Charles.

I felt it was good for him to come out with the truth about how he felt he was treated by his family, though it now seems to have alienated them, and perhaps half of Britain.

It seemed a bit strange that Harry calls Diana “Mummy” throughout the book. But it is understandable since he lost her at the age of twelve, when of course she was “Mummy”. He didn’t get to grow up with her and begin to call her “Mum” or something more grownup than “Mummy” .

He calls his father “Pa”.

Charles always called him “”darling boy”.

William calls Harry “Harold”.

Understandably, Harry was traumatized by Diana’s death. He explains that he couldn’t accept that she was dead for many years, and convinced himself that she had merely disappeared and would return again when she felt the time was right.

The whole world cried at Diana’s death. I did too. But Harry couldn’t cry, not until much, much later.

We learn that he was told of his mother’s death by Charles in the middle of the night. He wasn’t given a hug and the press have criticized this,

But one has to remember that Charles himself has been traumatized by having such a cold, cold mother, and having been sent to a boarding-school where he was mercilessly bullied.

Harry tells us that whenever he and Willy, as Harry calls him, were together at a boarding-school, or wherever, William impressed upon him always to pretend that they didn’t know each other.

So he hadn’t only lost a mother, but also a brother.

As regards the book’s title, the family had always referred to Harry as “the spare”.

William was the heir and he was the spare. “I was brought into the world in case something happened to Willy.”

Ergo, he wasn’t loved for himself. He was just a reserve to take over the throne, not regarded as a real person to be loved.

He explains about the dressing up as a Nazi incident and reveals that it was William and someone else, I can’t recall who, who insisted that it was a good idea, and that was why he did it. Later, he realized that it was not a great idea and apologized for it.

Like his mother, Harry is much harassed by the paparazzi, whom he calls the “paps”, and we really understand how bad this is.

I can’t say the whole book was fascinating, since I’m not interested in wars or the army, and Harry writes a lot about his time in Irak and Afghanistan.

Since I didn’t manage to finish the book, I missed reading about Meghan and their relationship, which I could see there was a lot about in the bit I didn’t get to.

After getting into the book, quite apart from the details of Harry’s life and feelings, what I most felt was, despite my previous impression of him, his powerful being.

Five stars for Harry’s courage , honesty, and what felt like a full revelation of his life so far.

[perednia_1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

The last section makes it clear this is an attempt by Harry to reach out to his family, to be understood. But based on their reactions that he has chronicled, that seems highly unlikely.

[ecataldi-1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I am not one of those Americans who is into British royalty. I've not watched a royal wedding, funeral, or coronation. I think the crown is outdated, antiquated, but also... intriguing - I found myself learning a lot about the chain of command, protocols, and the bubble the royal family find themselves living in. I never paid much attention to the Prince Harry "scandal" when it happened and I didn't watch the Oprah interview or the Netflix series - so reading Spare was really eye opening. I appreciated that this was a true autobiography and not just focused on why he left (although that is a major undercurrent). Prince Harry recounts his childhood, military service and so much more. Overall intriguing. I found myself googling who some of the advisors and relatives were.

[mzonderm · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

If Prince Harry had to boil this book down into one sentence, I expect it would be, “I will remain devoted to my mother forever, and I despise the paparazzi to the very core of my being.” That would be an accurate description of this book, but it does leave a lot out.

Harry talks about his education (not distinguished), his relationship with his brother and father (alternately loving and heartbreakingly cruel), his time in the military (action-packed), his time spent in Africa and the charitable work it led to (inspiring), his relationship with his grandmother (close), and much more.

As much as Diana and the paparazzi dominate the book, the writing really comes alive when Harry departs from those topics. One example is when he talks about the military. The part that really shines is less his descriptions of his time in war zones, and more his thoughts about what being in the military meant to him, and his frustration that his title prevented him from seeing much action. The narrative also comes alive when Harry describes meeting and falling in love with Meghan, who of course becomes another major theme in the latter half of the book.

But surrounding all that is Harry’s loathing of the paparazzi, and he doesn’t mince words about it. He details story after story that come out in the British tabloids (and even some more reputable news outlets) that are just plain lies, recounts his battles with the palace about how to respond to them, and suggests more than once that certain people within the palace are feeding information to the press. The palace’s unwavering policy of not responding, even to the tabloid stories that were clearly untrue, along with Harry’s suspicions of a leak in the inner circle, led to a major breach between Harry and Charles and William.

Of course, we have only Harry’s side of the story here, and as Goethe tells us, “One man’s word is no man’s word; we should quietly hear both sides.” But the palace continues its policy of silence, and it’s unlikely that any further developments will be done quietly. So we have to take Harry’s word for it, for now, which is very easy to do after reading this candid memoir.