Every Day
4/5
()
About this ebook
Celebrate all the ways love makes us who we are with the romance that Entertainment Weekly calls "wise, wildly unique"--from the bestselling co-author of Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist--about a teen who wakes up every morning in a different body, living a different life. Now a major motion picture!
Every day a different body. Every day a different life. Every day in love with the same girl.
There’s never any warning about where it will be or who it will be. A has made peace with that, even established guidelines by which to live: Never get too attached. Avoid being noticed. Do not interfere.
It’s all fine until the morning that A wakes up in the body of Justin and meets Justin’s girlfriend, Rhiannon. From that moment, the rules by which A has been living no longer apply. Because finally A has found someone he wants to be with—day in, day out, day after day.
With his new novel, David Levithan, bestselling co-author of Will Grayson, Will Grayson, and Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist, has pushed himself to new creative heights. He has written a captivating story that will fascinate readers as they begin to comprehend the complexities of life and love in A’s world, as A and Rhiannon seek to discover if you can truly love someone who is destined to change every day.
“A story that is always alluring, oftentimes humorous and much like love itself— splendorous.” —Los Angeles Times
David Levithan
David Levithan was not born in France, Milwaukee or Olympia, Washington. He did not go to Eton, Harvard Law School or Oxford University. He is not the author of War and Peace, Hollywood Wives: The New Generation or The Baby-sitters Club #8: Boy-crazy Stacey. He has not won the Newbery Medal, the Pulitzer Prize, the Bausch & Lomb Science Award or the race for eleventh-grade vice president. He currently does not live in Manhatten.
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Reviews for Every Day
1,503 ratings176 reviews
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Nov 10, 2024
Ambitious. Levithan creates a character who must authentically live inside teens of various race, background, appearance, and gender. Some voices/experiences ring more true than others. But on the whole, pretty dang amazing. A is literally too good to be true for me--but then when he got snarky inside the overweight kid, I got ticked. So no pleasing me. I was glad to see that Levithan explored how A's power could be abused when he introduced the Reverend. A book I will continue to think about long after I've finished. - Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5
Dec 27, 2024
Throughout the story, I kept on wanting another layer for a juicy sci-fi explanation, like in Sharon Shinn's Archangel series (I loved that series). It just didn't hold my interest enough to say I "really liked it" or "loved it." I can understand how in exploring connection and meaning in our lives that this story can be meaningful in the bigger questions of, "Who am I?" "Where am I going?" or may even motivate the reader to ask delving questions about how they spend their day, how we treat our families and friends. They could reflect on how present and kind they are (or not) with themselves and other human beings. By seeing what the entity "A" craved and could never have, are we going to be another Justin who takes everything for granted or will we decide differently? In the end, I couldn't submit to the suspension of disbelief that (I thought) was required of the reader to really get into the story. Perhaps the reflection was enough & I thank the author for that. - Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Dec 29, 2024
After reading and enjoying "The 7½ Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle," (another Quantum Leap-style novel) I was eager to read this as soon as I discovered it at 2nd & Charles. I got it used for only $5.
The story follows a protagonist who wakes up every morning in a different person’s body, unable to maintain relationships or possessions for more than a day. The concept is fascinating, and the author does a fantastic job of drawing you into the emotional and psychological toll and the ethical concerns of such an existence. It’s thought-provoking, unique, and utterly engrossing. - Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Oct 18, 2024
Good book. The sub-plot about Nathan seemed inserted and irrelevant, but I see that there is a sequel, which I am motivated to read, and that sub-plot might be developed further there. - Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5
Apr 11, 2024
I couldn't put it down, A's perspective on every person he inhibited was just so awesome and really gives you a moment to put yourself in others shoes. I absolutely love this book. - Rating: 1 out of 5 stars1/5
Feb 23, 2024
The premise of "Every Day" is absolutely horrifying to me, so I knew I probably didn't want to read it, despite two strong draws (sci fi with LGBT characters??). People mentioned a trans character in addition to the genderless A, and curiosity finally got the better of me, so I sat down at the library and skimmed the entire book to find them.
a) Not worth it---of course the trans character is a straight teenage trans guy, which is the kind of trans character that cis authors seem to find the least intimidating to write. A says some dumb shit about how noble he is, and we never hear his own voice anyway.
b) The book is just as creepy---and yet somehow boring---as I thought it would be. - Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5
Sep 27, 2023
A Book Set In High School
Every Day has an interesting premise, in that its narrator, A, wakes up every day in someone else's body. Someone different every day. Someone his own age. Although you can't be sure his is the correct pronoun. A doesn't have his own body. A isn't even his name; its just what he decided to call himself. One day he wakes up as Justin, and over the course of his day inhabiting Justin's body, he falls in love with Justin's girlfriend, Rhiannon. He has never met a girl like her, never had a day like the day they share. And unlike every other day of his sixteen years, when he wakes up in a new body, he finds a way to meet Rhiannon again. And again. Eventually he tells her his story. The first time he has ever told anyone his story. Because he has fallen in love with her.
This storyline I enjoyed. Even when he wakes up as a girl. As a lesbian. A gay guy. Repeatedly. The storyline remains how does he build a relationship with Rhiannon when every day he wakes up in a new body, one that often doesn't mesh with her needs and desires. My hardcover copy is 324 pages long. I enjoyed all but the last ten, where Every Day loses me in its unsatisfying ending as A introduces Rhiannon to the boy he's inhabiting this last day, then leaves and never contacts her again because he is trapped in this cycle and there is no way for them to be together.. After which the book ends, rather than concludes.
I'm not sure what ending would change my sense of disappointment. It's really the only ending that works, given A's predicament. But the lack of closure is unfulfilling.
P.S. Only after writing this review did I see that Every Day is part of a series. I thought when I finished reading it that there needed to be more to the story. Unfortunately, David Levithan decided to put it in volume two. - Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Aug 21, 2023
I seriously debated keeping this one because it was amazing. Yes, the concept is interesting, but I felt like I was having all these revelations while reading. Like I'm different selves at different times to different people, and yes, sometimes I define myself like "I'm a poet" or "I'm a fencer" but these things don't necessarily carry throughout my entire life (okay, I'll always be a poet, but I don't know if it will be my first identity again), so yes, it led me down the path on that one. Also yes, the story is interesting aside from any philosophical musings. - Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5
Jul 6, 2024
i had such a hard time deciding on the number of stars i was going to give this book, because there were so many parts i felt so strongly about. the writing (to me) was not great and felt very YA, and i had so many questions about the unique premise that i felt could have been explored, but unfortunately were hardly touched on. in that vein, it reminded me a lot of 'they both die at the end.' that said, i did find some scenes incredibly moving and i did have a good time reading this book. - Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5
Jan 2, 2024
Since I read "Dash & Lily's Book of Dares" by David Levithan, I have forgiven him for all the failed attempts to win my heart in the long run. He is a co-author of that story, and it is one of my favorites in life. That's why, every time Levithan is suggested to me, I accept it, and, poor both of us, I always end up losing. This time was no exception.
We deal with the story of "A," a sort of being, spirit, energy force, parasite that, every day, as the title suggests, wakes up in a different body. It inhabits a person for a whole day, trying not to deviate from the current script, only to go to sleep at night and wake up in another body the next day. Its life oscillates between the monotony of not being able to have its own life and the adventure of not knowing who it will be that day and what experiences await throughout the day. "A" knows nothing else. It has no knowledge that its existence was different before. Until a person appears who makes it want to dream of a different way of life.
To start, the audiobook felt long and, paradoxically, monotonous. Each person is a chapter, and it's always the same, except for some clear exceptions. But sometimes I found myself completely absorbed in something else when the voice of the narrator returned, and I had to rewind the audio to see if I had missed something substantial, but no, that never happened.
I understand that the author wanted to show the diversity of people through "A," and that despite that, we are all the same with our light and dark sides, but I believe he could have perfectly conveyed that in half the chapters.
As a cherry on top, the ending is abrupt, convenient, and unclear.
It was not a good encounter with David Levithan once again. Who knows if I will give him another chance. I suppose I will. (Translated from Spanish) - Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Jan 11, 2023
I found the premise quite clever: some sort of entity leaps from one body to another, once a day. Only bodies of the same age; in the book the entity "A" is 16, so all the people he jumps into are 16. For that day he has total control over them and "access" to their memories, but not their emotions about those memories. It basically gives a way to see the world through the lens of different genders, races, classes, sexualities, mental states, and addictions.
As it progresses the story kind of falls apart, but it is overall an interesting concept.
It was only some time after I read the book that I realised it's not really an original concept, it's basically Quantum Leap, except the leaper is 16 and mostly doesn't try to make things better (and as things progresses sometimes messes up the lives of the bodies he occupies). - Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5
Mar 15, 2022
I loved the concept and it was mostly well done, but the end...huh? What the heck happened? I didn't get it, maybe because I listened instead of read. - Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5
Sep 24, 2021
Every Day is a story about "A" - someone who wakes up in a different body every morning. "A" has always been like this since they can remember, and they have just come to accept how they are - until they meet Rhiannon. "A" wakes up as Rhiannon's boyfriend, Justin, and they go on a date. Suddenly, "A" moves all other lives to be around or near Rhiannon as best as they can, even if they know it's a struggle.
This was my first book by David Levithan and I was pretty excited about it because I know he gets such high praise. The book just didn't have the magic for me... It's a cool concept fantasy novel that explores what it's like to be a different person everyday, to be genderless, to be without self really, and also to be in love - but it's done in a creepy way. There's stalking, lying, cheating... it gets messy.
I'm not fond of the characters. "A" is a jerk - noted as a "nice person," the only one who can see who Rhiannon really is. Once "A" meets her and instantly falls in love, they stalk her and make the host bodies skip school, miss tests or practices, important events, or lie to their parents. Afterwards, "A" can manipulate the hosts' memories to really whatever works best with the plot. Rhiannon doesn't seem to have much to offer either.
The plot resolved around "A" being with and around Rhiannon, and during the time they're not, the story gets kind of just skimmed over. It's a romance YA story that's for sure, but I wish there was more at stake than just wanting to be with someone.
The pacing of the story was slow, but it's still a fast read. I can't say I enjoyed the book fully; there were some parts that I found interesting, and I read to the end to know what happened, but it had too many issues for me and ended on a note I'm not fond of. - Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5
Sep 14, 2021
I came across this book by chance and, upon reading the synopsis, it seemed like it could be an interesting book. The fact that the protagonist changes bodies every day struck me as very curious, as I had never read anything like it before. I then remembered that I had seen the movie and, although I didn't like it much, I decided to give the book a chance, because books are always better than movies.
Everything revolves around A. A wakes up in the body and life of a different person every day. He never knows who the chosen one will be or why this happens to him since he was a child. A has some rules: never get involved in the life of the individual he inhabits, not interfere, and stay unnoticed. Everything changes when one morning he wakes up in the body of a boy named Justin and meets his girlfriend, Rihannon. He then decides to break all the rules because for the first time he has found the person he wants to spend every day of his life with.
The book initially had me totally hooked, as the idea of "borrowing" someone's life for 24 hours was interesting, but as it progressed, it became uphill. It's not that it was boring, but the romance theme felt very repetitive to me. Throughout the plot, the protagonist seeks a way to meet Rihannon, even though it affects the life of the individual he is inhabiting.
One of the things I liked most was that A could manipulate the memories of the person he is in so that they don't notice anything suspicious. He makes them think what he wants. On one hand, it's a bit twisted, but I think the author has created a good way to hide the protagonist's tracks.
In this book, the characters we meet are very random and lack depth, as they only appear during the day that A occupies their bodies. It's strange to read about so many characters but not to attach too much importance to them, knowing that in the next chapter a new one will appear. The main characters, or those that are of greater importance, are few: A, Rihannon, and Nathan. Although it's clear that the first two are more significant than the last.
Being the narrator, you manage to understand and empathize with A. I felt very sorry for him throughout the book, as we see firsthand how he suffers from not knowing what he truly is, and the fact that no one will ever know of his existence. When he falls in love with Rihannon, his life changes; he sees hope in being loved and remembered by someone. I also liked his way of thinking, as many LGBT characters appear, and he speaks about it with total normalcy, even reflecting on how people are capable of not understanding that two people can love each other when they are of the same gender. As he says, he falls in love with the individual, not their gender. Fascinating.
I didn't like Rihannon. At first, she seemed a bit silly for holding on to Justin, a toxic boyfriend who didn't value her as she deserved, but then she becomes somewhat manipulative towards A. I think her personality changes completely. She doesn't know what she wants throughout the plot, confusing the protagonist and hurting him with her harsh comments and coldness. I understand that it is hard for her to see, most days, how A moves from one body to another, but still, she has behaviors that I really didn't like.
For me, the most interesting part was the ending, and even though it leaves many questions unanswered. I know it's the first book in a series, but it was very monotonous, and just when it seemed like the action was about to start, the book ended. I don't know if it left me wanting to read the second, as I felt very indifferent.
I think it's an entertaining book because undoubtedly the idea of occupying a body every day is interesting, but I don't think it was one of the best books I've read. Perhaps it's because I had high expectations and thought it would be much more incredible than it actually was. Still, it is a book that makes you think about your existence and how fortunate you are to have people who care about you.
"As far as I know; desire is desire; love is love. I've never fallen in love with a gender, but with an individual. I know it's hard for people to understand, but I don't know why, when it's so obvious." (Translated from Spanish) - Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5
Sep 12, 2021
It remains pending in the end. When will they translate the rest of the books... (Translated from Spanish) - Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Mar 12, 2021
It took me a bit longer to read this time because I had a few reviews due, but it was even better than it was the first time around. I'm not sure what I had an issue with last year, but I absolutely loved it this time.
For the most part, the characters were great. I did dislike Rhiannon at times, but overall she was a well-written character. I do think that Angourie Rice made her more lovable and tolerable in the film, though. A was also frustrating at times, but again, it wasn't bad enough to completely ruin the character for me. I also had mixed feelings about Nathan; he was annoying and at times ridiculous, but at the same time, I felt bad for him. After all, he was just confused and looking for answers.
The plot was unique and well-executed. David Levithan is a phenomenal author, and I believe he created this story perfectly. The combination of heartbreak, excitement, and love was amazing. I'm very glad I decided to give this one another go; I believe the entire thing went over my head a bit the first time and I noticed more details and understood it all a bit more. - Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5
Feb 16, 2021
Note: The narrator of Every Day is essentially genderless, but for simplicity's sake I use male pronouns throughout this review.
David Levithan is an interesting standout in the young adult / fiction world. He seems more than willing to experiment with storytelling forms; his previous book, The Lover's Dictionary, chronicled the ups and downs of a relationship through alternately hilarious and painful entries in a dictionary. His new book, Every Day, is more traditional in form, but still full of the same thrillingly out-there ideas that I loved about his previous work.
Every Day's premise is simple but striking; what if you woke up every day in a new body and a new place? Some essence of your self - your soul, some ineffable store of memory - survives the jump from body to body, which gives you continuity of identity, but you also have access to the memories of your "host" so that you can pass unnoticed in their life. How would it feel to look out from different eyes every day, experiencing the world from an infinite number of perspectives? More importantly, what would happen if, one day, you fell in love... and couldn't let go?
A, the narrator of Levithan's story, wakes up one morning in the body of Justin, a sullen teenage boy who doesn't take care of himself, doesn't get along well with his parents and mistreats his girlfriend. A usually tries not to interfere with the lives of his hosts - who seem to match the age he would be if he lived normally - but something about Justin's relationship with his girlfriend, Rhiannon, makes him decide to try and improve her day. They skip school and go to the beach... and A falls in love. After that, A spends each successive day trying to find Rhiannon, working to get to know her and eventually revealing his body-jumping secret.
Levithan plays with some fascinating philosophical concepts throughout. Once A reveals his identity to Rhiannon, the major question becomes: how exactly do you have a relationship with someone who isn't in the same body twice? A, who grew up unsurprisingly open-minded after experiencing life through the eyes of every possible type of person, feels like there shouldn't be anything keeping them apart, but Rhiannon isn't quite so ready to live outside the norms. For example, A notices that she isn't quite as receptive when he is in the body of a girl or someone who isn't traditionally attractive. Late in the book, the question arises of what it would mean if A and Rhiannon had sex in one of his host bodies, since it has been made clear that the hosts do remember vague details of their lives the next day. All of these complications make A's story poignantly tragic, and the romance compellingly star-crossed.
A's experiences vary wildly from day to day. One particularly harrowing experience involves a day spent in the body of a habitual drug user going through withdrawal; another centers on a girl who is planning to commit suicide. A is almost always understanding and open-minded about the lives of the people he inhabits, although he does admit early on that he doesn't necessarily like everyone whose life he takes over. The only real false note in the book comes on a day when A inhabits the body of an extremely overweight boy. A refers to him as "the emotional equivalent of a burp" and it seems strangely judgmental by comparison.
The author also introduces a subplot about a boy named Nathan who gets in trouble with his parents after A controls his life one night. When Nathan comes home after curfew, he blames his behavior on demonic possession. Eventually the story gets picked up by the national news and a shady evangelical preacher starts asking more of the "possessed" to come forward. Nathan remembers enough about his experience to get in touch with A through his secret email account, and tries to convince A to reveal his true nature. Although this storyline does add some tension to the mix, I felt like the book didn't necessarily need it. Every Day largely focuses on the romance between A and Rhiannon, so when a late reveal implies that the story might slip into thriller territory or start exploring explanations for the body-jumping mythology, it doesn't quite fit. Luckily Levithan avoids straying too far down that path.
That isn't to say I wouldn't be curious to know more about the cause of A's body-jumping experiences, and the book definitely ends on a note that would leave Levithan wide open to write a sequel if he chose to. I'd definitely read it, but I imagine it would need to be a very different book, simply because it would only diminish this book to try and repeat the romantic storyline.
All in all, I highly recommend Every Day. It's a quick read full of powerful emotional moments and thought-provoking ideas, and I definitely look forward to seeing what Levithan comes up with next.
Full disclosure: I received a free review copy of this book from Net Galley. - Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Oct 29, 2020
It’s the day after I’ve finished. My thoughts are jumbled.
*Could be a sequel
>Do I want a sequel?
*I can't imagine this life
>A does such a good job describing it – I get it. I don’t want it
for myself but I get it.
*Could I love someone who had a different body everyday?
*Is it the body or the soul we love?
*The ending is perfect… perfectly awful and painful, but perfect.
*A, in the end, is a selfless person,and better than me. - Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5
Dec 31, 2020
This story seemed simply fascinating to me, can you imagine living each day of your life in a different person? Feeling what they feel, getting to know them for 24 hours and then waking up in a completely different body. The loneliness of never really having lasting relationships, a family, someone who understands what you're going through, and at the same time the ability to walk in someone else's shoes and see reality through their eyes. (Translated from Spanish) - Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5
Oct 2, 2020
I loved this book ? 100% recommended (Translated from Spanish) - Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Jul 12, 2020
A's life is different, unique, and extraordinary. A beautiful and deeply empathetic story that has captured my heart forever. As @marenpergamino rightly states, this book offers the opportunity to know, talk about, and understand gender in all its breadth (which is vast and diverse) in a natural and empathetic way. (Translated from Spanish) - Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
May 16, 2020
Every day your body is different, you are a man or you are a woman, you are fat, thin, tall or short... But your essence, your true self, remains within you; every day you continue to be you, but with a different appearance, that is what happens to A. Since A became aware of themselves, it has always been this way; they inhabit a different body each day with its particularities, virtues, or defects, without interfering with feelings, never considering a change in their peculiar life, until the day they wake up as Justin and spend a special day with Ríannon. From that day on, their life takes a turn and their world revolves around her. At first, I found the book strange; I don't usually read fantasy, but as I kept turning its pages, I couldn't stop reading. It is a story of love that is soooo beautiful and pure, love based on seeing with the eyes of the heart, seeing how far love can go, and the wonderful things we can do for love. Absolutely recommendable for those like me who think that the engine of the world is love. (Translated from Spanish) - Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
May 5, 2020
I’ve read the best first chapter of my life. In that chapter, I fell in love, smiled, sighed, and listened as David Levithan whispered in my ear, "Maren, soulmates exist" "Maren, there are people in the world who were born to love each other, to give to each other, and to belong to each other" "Maren, there are those who, from the first glance, feel they have found something they lost and didn’t know they were looking for." And you know what? I allowed my heart to fill with warmth and I believed him.
But "Every Day" is not just a beautiful love story; it is also a very clever way to educate about what is called GENDER FLUIDITY. I want to clarify that when it comes to sexual diversity, I have always had to educate myself alone, and it is this type of book that has helped me to understand, accept, and normalize. "A" is the soul of a teenager who wakes up every day in a different body. Every day, he must adapt, get to know, and say goodbye because he never stays more than one day. Until he meets a girl and falls in love... and he will no longer be able to stop searching for her through the days and through the bodies. And here’s the important part: "A" one day is a boy, another day a girl... but he does not choose this kind of life, does not choose to change bodies. He has no choice. The same thing happens with gender-fluid people. Many believe that they choose to feel one way one day and another way the next. But no. They don’t choose it, they just feel it. Not by choice, but because they cannot help it. Every Day illustrates how difficult it is to always feel different, how desolate and confusing it can be for both the gender-fluid person and those who accompany them.
It would have been a book to love and cherish... were it not for the ending. It was like stabbing me in the chest. DAVID LEVITHAN, YOU ARE ON THE BLACKLIST. (Translated from Spanish) - Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5
Apr 18, 2020
The plot is different and very nice but SPOILER: When "A" is in the body of a girl, Rhiannon doesn't like it (which I understand), but then the topic is hardly touched upon anymore. I get the feeling that Rhiannon is in love with "A" regardless of what body they are in (as long as it's a boy's body; if it's a girl's body, let's just be friends for today). The thing with the pastor is strange, but to be honest, I'm more curious about how that's going to continue than how the relationship between the protagonists is going to unfold. (Translated from Spanish) - Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Jan 29, 2020
I didn't expect to finish this in one day but I did. After reading that ending, I feel as if my heart just split apart. I love the story but I couldn't stop asking the hows, whys, and whats. As I read I seemed to keep adding on to a stack of questions. Lastly, I was confused about the main character's undetermined gender. Overall the plot was intriguing and captivating. - Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5
Dec 31, 2019
I don't read romance, I don't like it, they all seem very similar to me and I usually find them boring. But this book... I don't know if it was because of the time I read it many years ago, but it will always be among my favorite books. Imagine waking up every day in a different body, able to access its memories, but with your personality, only for 24 hours, until you fall in love with someone... Really, read it. It's magnificent. There's a movie, but like the book... (Translated from Spanish) - Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5
Dec 12, 2019
I read it in two days while still in university, and I liked it a lot. David always manages to hook me with all his stories and with each character. (Translated from Spanish) - Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Dec 6, 2019
Just finished this OBOB 2014 book. (It's on the high school list.) A great summer read! - Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5
Sep 4, 2019
I think a part of me really wanted to read this book, but on the other hand, I believe it was mostly because the movie came out months ago and I was really intrigued by the story. Now I think the author has an excellent ability to write great phrases and even complete paragraphs that stick with you, and that's one of the things I like most about authors. Additionally, everything fit perfectly with the plot or what was happening in the story, and that's perfect. One thing that didn't catch my attention was the narration itself; I think it was perfectly crafted and achieved, but it didn't leave me wanting more or make me so intrigued that I wanted to keep reading, and that doesn't help with finishing the book quickly. I think the two characters we see throughout the plot, who are the most important, have quite a journey and discover new things that make them change, which is good, but I don't think it was a major change or anything significant. One of the things to understand about the book is how it shows us so many people without them actually being characters, and that's complicated because having almost only two characters makes it difficult to see beyond that or have characters you like or dislike. It is undoubtedly an ordinary book with a somewhat interesting plot that ends well; it's not bad, but it's not anything remarkable either. Without a doubt, it’s a book to read between larger and heavier readings, like a break. (Translated from Spanish) - Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Aug 27, 2019
You empathize with the character until the end. (Translated from Spanish)
Book preview
Every Day - David Levithan
Day 5994
I wake up.
Immediately I have to figure out who I am. It’s not just the body—opening my eyes and discovering whether the skin on my arm is light or dark, whether my hair is long or short, whether I’m fat or thin, boy or girl, scarred or smooth. The body is the easiest thing to adjust to, if you’re used to waking up in a new one each morning. It’s the life, the context of the body, that can be hard to grasp.
Every day I am someone else. I am myself—I know I am myself—but I am also someone else.
It has always been like this.
The information is there. I wake up, open my eyes, understand that it is a new morning, a new place. The biography kicks in, a welcome gift from the not-me part of the mind. Today I am Justin. Somehow I know this—my name is Justin—and at the same time I know that I’m not really Justin, I’m only borrowing his life for a day. I look around and know that this is his room. This is his home. The alarm will go off in seven minutes.
I’m never the same person twice, but I’ve certainly been this type before. Clothes everywhere. Far more video games than books. Sleeps in his boxers. From the taste of his mouth, a smoker. But not so addicted that he needs one as soon as he wakes up.
Good morning, Justin,
I say. Checking out his voice. Low. The voice in my head is always different.
Justin doesn’t take care of himself. His scalp itches. His eyes don’t want to open. He hasn’t gotten much sleep.
Already I know I’m not going to like today.
It’s hard being in the body of someone you don’t like, because you still have to respect it. I’ve harmed people’s lives in the past, and I’ve found that every time I slip up, it haunts me. So I try to be careful.
From what I can tell, every person I inhabit is the same age as me. I don’t hop from being sixteen to being sixty. Right now, it’s only sixteen. I don’t know how this works. Or why. I stopped trying to figure it out a long time ago. I’m never going to figure it out, any more than a normal person will figure out his or her own existence. After a while, you have to be at peace with the fact that you simply are. There is no way to know why. You can have theories, but there will never be proof.
I can access facts, not feelings. I know this is Justin’s room, but I have no idea if he likes it or not. Does he want to kill his parents in the next room? Or would he be lost without his mother coming in to make sure he’s awake? It’s impossible to tell. It’s as if that part of me replaces the same part of whatever person I’m in. And while I’m glad to be thinking like myself, a hint every now and then of how the other person thinks would be helpful. We all contain mysteries, especially when seen from the inside.
The alarm goes off. I reach for a shirt and some jeans, but something lets me see that it’s the same shirt he wore yesterday. I pick a different shirt. I take the clothes with me to the bathroom, dress after showering. His parents are in the kitchen now. They have no idea that anything is different.
Sixteen years is a lot of time to practice. I don’t usually make mistakes. Not anymore.
I read his parents easily: Justin doesn’t talk to them much in the morning, so I don’t have to talk to them. I have grown accustomed to sensing expectation in others, or the lack of it. I shovel down some cereal, leave the bowl in the sink without washing it, grab Justin’s keys and go.
Yesterday I was a girl in a town I’d guess to be two hours away. The day before, I was a boy in a town three hours farther than that. I am already forgetting their details. I have to, or else I will never remember who I really am.
Justin listens to loud and obnoxious music on a loud and obnoxious station where loud and obnoxious DJs make loud and obnoxious jokes as a way of getting through the morning. This is all I need to know about Justin, really. I access his memory to show me the way to school, which parking space to take, which locker to go to. The combination. The names of the people he knows in the halls.
Sometimes I can’t go through these motions. I can’t bring myself to go to school, maneuver through the day. I’ll say I’m sick, stay in bed and read a few books. But even that gets tiresome after a while, and I find myself up for the challenge of a new school, new friends. For a day.
As I take Justin’s books out of his locker, I can feel someone hovering on the periphery. I turn, and the girl standing there is transparent in her emotions—tentative and expectant, nervous and adoring. I don’t have to access Justin to know that this is his girlfriend. No one else would have this reaction to him, so unsteady in his presence. She’s pretty, but she doesn’t see it. She’s hiding behind her hair, happy to see me and unhappy to see me at the same time.
Her name is Rhiannon. And for a moment—just the slightest beat—I think that, yes, this is the right name for her. I don’t know why. I don’t know her. But it feels right.
This is not Justin’s thought. It’s mine. I try to ignore it. I’m not the person she wants to talk to.
Hey,
I say, keeping it casual.
Hey,
she murmurs back.
She’s looking at the floor, at her inked-in Converse. She’s drawn cities there, skylines around the soles. Something’s happened between her and Justin, and I don’t know what it is. It’s probably not something that Justin even recognized at the time.
Are you okay?
I ask.
I see the surprise on her face, even as she tries to cover it. This is not something that Justin normally asks.
And the strange thing is: I want to know the answer. The fact that he wouldn’t care makes me want it more.
Sure,
she says, not sounding sure at all.
I find it hard to look at her. I know from experience that beneath every peripheral girl is a central truth. She’s hiding hers away, but at the same time she wants me to see it. That is, she wants Justin to see it. And it’s there, just out of my reach. A sound waiting to be a word.
She is so lost in her sadness that she has no idea how visible it is. I think I understand her—for a moment, I presume to understand her—but then, from within this sadness, she surprises me with a brief flash of determination. Bravery, even.
Shifting her gaze away from the floor, her eyes matching mine, she asks, Are you mad at me?
I can’t think of any reason to be mad at her. If anything, I am mad at Justin, for making her feel so diminished. It’s there in her body language. When she is around him, she makes herself small.
No,
I say. I’m not mad at you at all.
I tell her what she wants to hear, but she doesn’t trust it. I feed her the right words, but she suspects they’re threaded with hooks.
This is not my problem; I know that. I am here for one day. I cannot solve anyone’s boyfriend problems. I should not change anyone’s life.
I turn away from her, get my books out, close the locker. She stays in the same spot, anchored by the profound, desperate loneliness of a bad relationship.
Do you still want to get lunch today?
she asks.
The easy thing would be to say no. I often do this: sense the other person’s life drawing me in, and run in the other direction.
But there’s something about her—the cities on her shoes, the flash of bravery, the unnecessary sadness—that makes me want to know what the word will be when it stops being a sound. I have spent years meeting people without ever knowing them, and on this morning, in this place, with this girl, I feel the faintest pull of wanting to know. And in a moment of either weakness or bravery on my own part, I decide to follow it. I decide to find out more.
Absolutely,
I say. Lunch would be great.
Again, I read her: What I’ve said is too enthusiastic. Justin is never enthusiastic.
No big deal,
I add.
She’s relieved. Or, at least, as relieved as she’ll allow herself to be, which is a very guarded form of relief. By accessing, I know she and Justin have been together for over a year. That’s as specific as it gets. Justin doesn’t remember the exact date.
She reaches out and takes my hand. I am surprised by how good this feels.
I’m glad you’re not mad at me,
she says. I just want everything to be okay.
I nod. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: We all want everything to be okay. We don’t even wish so much for fantastic or marvelous or outstanding. We will happily settle for okay, because most of the time, okay is enough.
The first bell rings.
I’ll see you later,
I say.
Such a basic promise. But to Rhiannon, it means the world.
At first it was hard to go through each day without making any lasting connections, leaving any life-changing effects. When I was younger, I craved friendship and closeness. I would make bonds without acknowledging how quickly and permanently they would break. I took other people’s lives personally. I felt their friends could be my friends, their parents could be my parents. But after a while, I had to stop. It was too heartbreaking to live with so many separations.
I am a drifter, and as lonely as that can be, it is also remarkably freeing. I will never define myself in terms of anyone else. I will never feel the pressure of peers or the burden of parental expectation. I can view everyone as pieces of a whole, and focus on the whole, not the pieces. I have learned how to observe, far better than most people observe. I am not blinded by the past or motivated by the future. I focus on the present, because that is where I am destined to live.
I learn. Sometimes I am taught something I have already been taught in dozens of other classrooms. Sometimes I am taught something completely new. I have to access the body, access the mind and see what information it’s retained. And when I do, I learn. Knowledge is the only thing I take with me when I go.
I know so many things that Justin doesn’t know, that he will never know. I sit there in his math class, open his notebook, and write down phrases he has never heard. Shakespeare and Kerouac and Dickinson. Tomorrow, or some day after tomorrow, or never, he will see these words in his own handwriting and he won’t have any idea where they came from, or even what they are.
That is as much interference as I allow myself.
Everything else must be done cleanly.
Rhiannon stays with me. Her details. Flickers from Justin’s memories. Small things, like the way her hair falls, the way she bites her fingernails, the determination and resignation in her voice. Random things. I see her dancing with Justin’s grandfather, because he’s said he wants a dance with a pretty girl. I see her covering her eyes during a scary movie, peering between her fingers, enjoying her fright. These are the good memories. I don’t look at any others.
I only see her once in the morning, a brief passing in the halls between first and second period. I find myself smiling when she comes near, and she smiles back. It’s as simple as that. Simple and complicated, as most true things are. I find myself looking for her after second period, and then again after third and fourth. I don’t even feel in control of this. I want to see her. Simple. Complicated.
By the time we get to lunch, I am exhausted. Justin’s body is worn down from too little sleep and I, inside of it, am worn down from restlessness and too much thought.
I wait for her at Justin’s locker. The first bell rings. The second bell rings. No Rhiannon. Maybe I was supposed to meet her somewhere else. Maybe Justin’s forgotten where they always meet.
If that’s the case, she’s used to Justin forgetting. She finds me right when I’m about to give up. The halls are nearly empty, the cattle call has passed. She comes closer than she did before.
Hey,
I say.
Hey,
she says.
She is looking to me. Justin is the one who makes the first move. Justin is the one who figures things out. Justin is the one who says what they’re going to do.
It depresses me.
I have seen this too many times before. The unwarranted devotion. Putting up with the fear of being with the wrong person because you can’t deal with the fear of being alone. The hope tinged with doubt, and the doubt tinged with hope. Every time I see these feelings in someone else’s face, it weighs me down. And there’s something in Rhiannon’s face that’s more than just the disappointments. There is a gentleness there. A gentleness that Justin will never, ever appreciate. I see it right away, but nobody else does.
I take all my books and put them in the locker. I walk over to her and put my hand lightly on her arm.
I have no idea what I’m doing. I only know that I’m doing it.
Let’s go somewhere,
I say. Where do you want to go?
I am close enough now to see that her eyes are blue. I am close enough now to see that nobody ever gets close enough to see how blue her eyes are.
I don’t know,
she replies.
I take her hand.
Come on,
I tell her.
This is no longer restlessness—it’s recklessness. At first we’re walking hand in hand. Then we’re running hand in hand. That giddy rush of keeping up with one another, of zooming through the school, reducing everything that’s not us into an inconsequential blur. We are laughing, we are playful. We leave her books in her locker and move out of the building, into the air, the real air, the sunshine and the trees and the less burdensome world. I am breaking the rules as I leave the school. I am breaking the rules as we get into Justin’s car. I am breaking the rules as I turn the key in the ignition.
Where do you want to go?
I ask again. Tell me, truly, where you’d love to go.
I don’t initially realize how much hinges on her answer. If she says, Let’s go to the mall, I will disconnect. If she says, Take me back to your house, I will disconnect. If she says, Actually, I don’t want to miss sixth period, I will disconnect. And I should disconnect. I should not be doing this.
But she says, I want to go to the ocean. I want you to take me to the ocean.
And I feel myself connecting.
It takes us an hour to get there. It’s late September in Maryland. The leaves haven’t begun to change, but you can tell they’re starting to think about it. The greens are muted, faded. Color is right around the corner.
I give Rhiannon control of the radio. She’s surprised by this, but I don’t care. I’ve had enough of the loud and the obnoxious, and I sense that she’s had enough of it, too. She brings melody to the car. A song comes on that I know, and I sing along.
And if I only could, I’d make a deal with God.…
Now Rhiannon goes from surprised to suspicious. Justin never sings along.
What’s gotten into you?
she asks.
Music,
I tell her.
Ha.
No, really.
She looks at me for a long time. Then smiles.
In that case,
she says, flipping the dial to find the next song.
Soon we are singing at the top of our lungs. A pop song that’s as substantial as a balloon, but lifts us in the same way when we sing it.
It’s as if time itself relaxes around us. She stops thinking about how unusual it is. She lets herself be a part of it.
I want to give her a good day. Just one good day. I have wandered for so long without any sense of purpose, and now this ephemeral purpose has been given to me—it feels like it has been given to me. I only have a day to give—so why can’t it be a good one? Why can’t it be a shared one? Why can’t I take the music of the moment and see how long it can last? The rules are erasable. I can take this. I can give this.
When the song is over, she rolls down her window and trails her hand in the air, introducing a new music into the car. I roll down all the other windows and drive faster, so the wind takes over, blows our hair all around, makes it seem like the car has disappeared and we are the velocity, we are the speed. Then another good song comes on and I enclose us again, this time taking her hand. I drive like that for miles, and ask her questions. Like how her parents are doing. What it’s like now that her sister’s off at college. If she thinks school is different at all this year.
It’s hard for her. Every single answer starts with the phrase I don’t know. But most of the time she does know, if I give her the time and the space in which to answer. Her mother means well; her father less so. Her sister isn’t calling home, but Rhiannon can understand that. School is school—she wants it to be over, but she’s afraid of it being over, because then she’ll have to figure out what comes next.
She asks me what I think, and I tell her, Honestly, I’m just trying to live day to day.
It isn’t enough, but it’s something. We watch the trees, the sky, the signs, the road. We sense each other. The world, right now, is only us. We continue to sing along. And we sing with the same abandon, not worrying too much if our voices hit the right notes or the right words. We look at each other while we’re singing; these aren’t two solos, this is a duet that isn’t taking itself at all seriously. It is its own form of conversation—you can learn a lot about people from the stories they tell, but you can also know them from the way they sing along, whether they like the windows up or down, if they live by the map or by the world, if they feel the pull of the ocean.
She tells me where to drive. Off the highway. The empty back roads. This isn’t summer; this isn’t a weekend. It’s the middle of a Monday, and nobody but us is going to the beach.
I should be in English class,
Rhiannon says.
I should be in bio,
I say, accessing Justin’s schedule.
We keep going. When I first saw her, she seemed to be balancing on edges and points. Now the ground is more even, welcoming.
I know this is dangerous. Justin is not good to her. I recognize that. If I access the bad memories, I see tears, fights, and remnants of passable togetherness. She is always there for him, and he must like that. His friends like her, and he must like that, too. But that’s not the same as love. She has been hanging on to the hope of him for so long that she doesn’t realize there isn’t anything left to hope for. They don’t have silences together; they have noise. Mostly his. If I tried, I could go deep into their arguments. I could track down whatever shards he’s collected from all the times he’s destroyed her. If I were really Justin, I would find something wrong with her. Right now. Tell her. Yell. Bring her down. Put her in her place.
But I can’t. I’m not Justin. Even if she doesn’t know it.
Let’s just enjoy ourselves,
I say.
Okay,
she replies. I like that. I spend so much time thinking about running away—it’s nice to actually do it. For a day. It’s good to be on the other side of the window. I don’t do this enough.
There are so many things inside of her that I want to know. And at the same time, with every word we speak, I feel there may be something inside of her that I already know. When I get there, we will recognize each other. We will have that.
I park the car and we head to the ocean. We take off our shoes and leave them under our seats. When we get to the sand, I lean over to roll up my jeans. While I do, Rhiannon runs ahead. When I look back up, she is spinning around the beach, kicking up sand, calling my name. Everything, at that moment, is lightness. She is so joyful, I can’t help but stop for a second and watch. Witness. Tell myself to remember.
C’mon!
she cries. Get over here!
I’m not who you think I am, I want to tell her. But there’s no way. Of course there’s no way.
We have the beach to ourselves, the ocean to ourselves. I have her to myself. She has me to herself.
There is a part of childhood that is childish, and a part that is sacred. Suddenly we are touching the sacred part—running to the shoreline, feeling the first cold burst of water on our ankles, reaching into the tide to catch at shells before they ebb away from our fingers. We have returned to a world that is capable of glistening, and we are wading deeper within it. We stretch our arms wide, as if we are embracing the wind. She splashes me mischievously and I mount a counterattack. Our pants, our shirts get wet, but we don’t care.
She asks me to help her build a sand castle, and as I do, she tells me about how she and her sister would never work on sand castles together—it was always a competition, with her sister going for the highest possible mountains while Rhiannon paid attention to detail, wanting each castle to be the dollhouse she was never allowed to have. I see echoes of this detail now as she makes turrets bloom from her cupped hands. I myself have no memories of sand castles, but there must be some sense memory attached, because I feel I know how to do this, how to shape this.
When we are done, we walk back down to the water to wash off
