Holding Up the Universe

By Jennifer Niven

A New York Times Bestseller

From the author of the New York Times bestseller All the Bright Places comes a heart-wrenching story about what it means to see someone—and love someone—for who they truly are.

Everyone thinks they know Libby Strout, the girl once dubbed “America’s Fattest Teen.” But no one’s taken the time to look past her weight to get to know who she really is. Following her mom’s death, she’s been picking up the pieces in the privacy of her home, dealing with her heartbroken father and her own grief. Now, Libby’s ready: for high school, for new friends, for love, and for EVERY POSSIBILITY LIFE HAS TO OFFER. In that moment, I know the part I want to play here at MVB High. I want to be the girl who can do anything. 

Everyone thinks they know Jack Masselin, too. Yes, he’s got swagger, but he’s also mastered the impossible art of giving people what they want, of fitting in. What no one knows is that Jack has a newly acquired secret: he can’t recognize faces. Even his own brothers are strangers to him. He’s the guy who can re-engineer and rebuild anything in new and bad-ass ways, but he can’t understand what’s going on with the inner workings of his brain. So he tells himself to play it cool: Be charming. Be hilarious. Don’t get too close to anyone. 

Until he meets Libby. When the two get tangled up in a cruel high school game—which lands them in group counseling and community service—Libby and Jack are both pissed, and then surprised. Because the more time they spend together, the less alone they feel. . . . Because sometimes when you meet someone, it changes the world, theirs and yours.

Jennifer Niven delivers another poignant, exhilarating love story about finding that person who sees you for who you are—and seeing them right back.

"Niven is adept at creating characters. . . . [Libby's] courage and body-positivity make for a joyful reading experience." --The New York Times

“Holding Up the Universe . . . taps into the universal need to be understood. To be wanted. And that’s what makes it such a remarkable read.” —TeenVogue.com, “Why New Book Holding Up the Universe Is the Next The Fault in Our Stars”

"Want a love story that will give you all the feels? . . . You'll seriously melt!" —Seventeen Magazine

• Language: English
• Publisher: Knopf Books for Young Readers
• Release date: Oct 4, 2016
• ISBN: 9780385755948

Jennifer Niven

Jennifer Niven is the #1 New York Times and internationally bestselling author of thirteen books, fiction and nonfiction, including the massive breakout All the Bright Places, which she also adapted for film. Her award-winning books have been translated into more than seventy-five languages and have sold upward of 3.5 million copies worldwide. Jennifer has loved television and film her whole life and has been lucky enough to develop projects with Netflix, Sony, ABC and Warner Bros. She divides her time between coastal Georgia and Los Angeles with her husband and literary cats.

Book preview

Book cover imageJennifer Niven Alfred A. Knopf New YorkJennifer Niven Alfred A. Knopf New York

THIS IS A BORZOI BOOK PUBLISHED BY ALFRED A. KNOPF

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Text copyright © 2016 by Jennifer Niven

Cover art copyright © 2016 by Shutterstock

Excerpt from All the Bright Places copyright © 2015 by Jennifer Niven.

All rights reserved. Published in the United States by Alfred A. Knopf, an imprint of Random House Children’s Books, a division of Penguin Random House LLC, New York.

Knopf, Borzoi Books, and the colophon are registered trademarks of Penguin Random House LLC.

Grateful acknowledgment is made to Jack Robinson for permission to reprint lines from I Love to Love (But My Baby Just Loves to Dance), words by Jack Robinson, music by James Bolden. Used by permission of Robin Song Music SARL and ROBA Music Publishing.

Visit us on the Web! GetUnderlined.com

Educators and librarians, for a variety of teaching tools, visit us at RHTeachersLibrarians.com

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Niven, Jennifer, author.

Title: Holding up the universe / Jennifer Niven.

Description: First edition. | New York : Alfred A. Knopf, [2016] | Summary: A boy with face blindness and a girl who struggles with weight fall in love—Provided by publisher.

Identifiers: LCCN 2016003865 (print) | LCCN 2016029920 (ebook) | ISBN 978-0-385-75592-4 (hardback) | ISBN 978-0-385-75593-1 (library binding) | ISBN 978-0-385-75594-8 (ebook)

Subjects: | CYAC: Prosopagnosia—Fiction. | Brain—Wounds and injuries—Fiction. | Obesity—Fiction. | Love—Fiction.

Classification: LCC PZ7.N6434 Ho 2016 (print) | LCC PZ7.N6434 (ebook) | DDC [Fic]—dc23

Ebook ISBN 9780385755948

Random House Children’s Books supports the First Amendment and celebrates the right to read.

v4.1_r3

ep + a

Contents

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

Epigraph

Prologue

18 Hours Earlier

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

Libby

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

Six Years Earlier

Libby

Now

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

The Next Day

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

Three Years Earlier

Jack

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

Libby

Now

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

Saturday

Jack

Libby

Jack

Monday

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

Libby

One Week Later

Jack

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

Libby

The Next Eight Days

Jack

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

Libby

Saturday

Jack

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

The Week After

Libby

Jack

Libby

The Next Day

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

Four Days Later

Jack

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

Libby

Jack

Acknowledgments

About the Author

Excerpt from All the Bright Places

for Kerry,

Louis,

Angelo

& Ed,

who help hold up my universe

and for all my readers everywhere,

who are the world to me

Atticus, he was real nice….

Most people are, Scout, when you finally see them.

—To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee

I’m not a shitty person, but I’m about to do a shitty thing. And you will hate me, and some other people will hate me, but I’m going to do it anyway to protect you and also myself.

This will sound like an excuse, but I have something called prosopagnosia, which means I can’t recognize faces, not even the faces of the people I love. Not even my mom. Not even myself.

Imagine walking into a room full of strangers, people who don’t mean anything to you because you don’t know their names or histories. Then imagine going to school or work or, worse, your own home, where you should know everyone, only the people there look like strangers too.

That’s what it’s like for me: I walk into a room and I don’t know anyone. That’s every room, everywhere. I get by on how a person walks. By gestures. By voice. By hair. I learn people by identifiers. I tell myself, Dusty has ears that stick out and a red-brown Afro, and then I memorize this fact so it helps me find my little brother, but I can’t actually call up an image of him and his big ears and his Afro unless he’s in front of me. Remembering people is like this superpower everyone seems to have but me.

Have I been officially diagnosed? No. And not just because I’m guessing this is beyond the pay grade of Dr. Blume, town pediatrician. Not just because for the past few years my parents have had more than their share of shit to deal with. Not just because it’s better not to be the freak. But because there’s a part of me that hopes it isn’t true. That maybe it will clear up and go away on its own. For now, this is how I get by:

Nod/smile at everyone.

Be charming.

Be on.

Be goddamn hilarious.

Be the life of the party, but don’t drink. Don’t risk losing control (that happens enough when sober).

Pay attention.

Do whatever it takes. Be lord of the douche. Anything to keep from being the prey. Always better to hunt than be hunted.

I’m not telling you all this as an excuse for what I’m about to do. But maybe you can keep it in mind. This is the only way to stop my friends from doing something worse, and it’s the only way to stop this stupid game. Just know that I don’t want to hurt anyone. That’s not why. Even though that’s the thing that’s going to happen.

Sincerely yours,

Jack

PS. You’re the only person who knows what’s wrong with me.

Prosopagnosia (pro-suh-pag-NO-zhuh) noun: 1. an inability to recognize the faces of familiar people, typically as a result of damage to the brain. 2. when everyone is a stranger.

18 HOURS EARLIER

LibbyLibby

If a genie popped out of my bedside lamp, I would wish for these three things: my mom to be alive, nothing bad or sad to ever happen again, and to be a member of the Martin Van Buren High School Damsels, the best drill team in the tristate area.

But what if the Damsels don’t want you?

It is 3:38 a.m., and the time of night when my mind starts running around all wild and out of control, like my cat, George, when he was a kitten. All of a sudden, there goes my brain, climbing the curtains. There it is, swinging from the bookshelf. There it is, with its paw in the fish tank and its head underwater.

I lie on my bed, staring up into the dark, and my mind bounces across the room.

What if you get trapped again? What if they have to knock down the cafeteria door or the bathroom wall to get you out? What if your dad gets married and then he dies and you’re left with the new wife and stepsiblings? What if you die? What if there is no heaven and you never see your mom again?

I tell myself to sleep.

I close my eyes and lie very still.

Very still.

For minutes.

I make my mind lie there with me and tell it, Sleep, sleep, sleep.

What if you get to school and realize that things are different and kids are different, and no matter how much you try, you will never be able to catch up to them?

I open my eyes.

My name is Libby Strout. You’ve probably heard of me. You’ve probably watched the video of me being rescued from my own house. At last count, 6,345,981 people have watched it, so there’s a good chance you’re one of them. Three years ago, I was America’s Fattest Teen. I weighed 653 pounds at my heaviest, which means I was approximately 500 pounds overweight. I haven’t always been fat. The short version of the story is that my mom died and I got fat, but somehow I’m still here. This is in no way my father’s fault.

Two months after I was rescued, we moved to a different neighborhood on the other side of town. These days I can leave the house on my own. I’ve lost 302 pounds. The size of two entire people. I have around 190 left to go, and I’m fine with that. I like who I am. For one thing, I can run now. And ride in the car. And buy clothes at the mall instead of special-ordering them. And I can twirl. Aside from no longer being afraid of organ failure, that may be the best thing about now versus then.

Tomorrow is my first day of school since fifth grade. My new title will be high school junior, which, let’s face it, sounds a lot better than America’s Fattest Teen. But it’s hard to be anything but TERRIFIED OUT OF MY SKULL.

I wait for the panic attack to come.

JackJack

Caroline Lushamp calls before my alarm goes off, but I let her go to voice mail. I know whatever it is, it’s not going to be good and it will be my fault.

She calls three times but only leaves one message. I almost delete it without listening, but what if her car broke down and she’s in trouble? This is, after all, the girl I’ve dated off and on for the past four years. (We’re that couple. That on-again, off-again everyone-assumes-we’ll-end-up-together-forever couple.)

Jack, it’s me. I know we’re taking a break or whatever but she’s my cousin. My COUSIN. I mean, MY COUSIN, JACK! If you wanted to get back at me for breaking up with you, then congratulations, jerkwad, you’ve done it. If you see me in class today or in the hallways or in the cafeteria or ANYWHERE ELSE ON EARTH, do not talk to me. Actually, just do me a favor and go to hell.

Three minutes later, the cousin calls, and at first I think she’s crying, but then you can hear Caroline in the background, and the cousin starts yelling and Caroline starts yelling. I delete the message.

Two minutes later, Dave Kaminski sends a text to warn me that Reed Young wants to kick my face in for making out with his girlfriend. I text, I owe you. And I mean it. If I’m keeping score, Kam’s helped me out more times than I’ve helped him.

All this fuss over a girl who, if we’re being honest, looked so much like Caroline Lushamp that—at least at first—I thought it was her, which means in some weird way Caroline should be flattered. It’s like admitting to the world that I want to get back together with her even though she dumped me the first week of summer so that she could go out with Zach Higgins.

I think of texting this to her, but instead I turn off my phone and close my eyes and see if I can’t transport myself right back into July. The only thing I had to worry about then was going to work, scavenging the local scrap yard, building (mind-blowing) projects in my (kick-ass) workshop, and hanging out with my brothers. Life would be so much easier if it was just Jack + scrap yard + kick-ass workshop + mind-blowing projects.

You should never have gone to the party. You should never have had a drink. You know you can’t be trusted. Avoid alcohol. Avoid crowds. Avoid people. You only end up pissing them off.

LibbyLibby

It’s 6:33 a.m. and I am out of bed and standing in front of the mirror. There was a time, a little over two years ago, when I couldn’t, wouldn’t look at myself. All I saw was the bunched-up face of Moses Hunt, yelling at me across the playground: No one will ever love you because you’re fat! And the faces of all the other fifth graders as they started to laugh. You’re so big you block the moon. Go home, Flabby Stout, go home to your room….

Today, for the most part, I only see me—adorable navy dress, sneakers, medium-longish brown hair that my sweet but slightly demented grandmother once described as the exact color of Highland cattle. And the reflection of my giant dirty cotton ball of a cat. George stares at me with wise gold eyes, and I try to imagine what he might say to me. Four years ago, he was diagnosed with heart failure and given six months to live. But I know him well enough to know that only George will decide when it’s time for George to go. He blinks at me.

Right now, I think he would tell me to breathe.

So I breathe.

I’ve gotten really good at breathing.

I look down at my hands and they’re steady, even if the fingernails are bitten to the quick, and, weirdly, I feel pretty calm, considering. I realize: the panic attack never came. This is something to celebrate, so I throw on one of my mom’s old albums and dance. Dancing is what I love most and dancing is what I plan to do with my life. I haven’t taken lessons since I was ten, but the dance is in me, and no lack of training can make that go away.

I tell myself, Maybe this year you can try out for the Damsels.

My brain goes zooming up the wall, where it hangs, shaking. What if it never happens? What if you die before anything good or wonderful or amazing ever happens to you? For the past two and a half years, the only thing I’ve had to worry about has been my survival. The focus of every single person in my life, including me, has been: We just need to get you better. And now I’m better. So what if I let them down after all the time and energy they’ve invested in me?

I dance harder to push the thoughts out until my dad thumps on the door. His head appears. You know I love a good Pat Benatar song first thing in the morning, but the question is: how do the neighbors feel?

I turn it down a little but keep on moving. When the song is over, I find a marker and decorate one shoe. As long as you live, there’s always something waiting; and even if it’s bad, and you know it’s bad, what can you do? You can’t stop living. (Truman Capote, In Cold Blood) Then I reach for the lipstick my grandmother gave me for my birthday, lean into the mirror, and paint my lips red.

JackJack

I hear the shower running and voices downstairs. I pull the pillow over my face, but it’s too late—I’m awake.

I turn on my phone and text first Caroline, then Kam, then Reed Young. The thing I say to all of them is that I was very drunk (an exaggeration) and it was very dark (it was) and I don’t remember anything that happened because I was not only drunk, I was upset. There’s just this shit happening at home that I can’t talk about right now, so if you can bear with me and find it in your heart to forgive me, I’ll be forever in your debt. The shit happening at home part is completely true.

For Caroline, I throw in some compliments and ask her to please apologize to her cousin for me. I say I don’t want to contact her directly because I’ve already made a mess of things and I don’t want to do anything else to make things worse between Caroline and me. Even though Caroline was the one who broke up with me, and even though we’re currently in an off-again phase, and even though I haven’t seen her since June, I basically eat crow and then throw it up all over my phone. This is the price I pay for trying to keep everyone happy.

I drag myself down the hall to the bathroom. The thing I need most in this world is a long, hot shower, but what I get instead is a trickle of warm water followed by a blast of Icelandic cold. Sixty seconds later—because that’s all I can bear—I get out, dry off, and stand in front of the mirror.

So this is me.

I think this every time I see my reflection. Not in a Damn, that’s me way, but more like Huh. Okay. What have we got here? I lean in, trying to put the pieces of my face together.

The guy in the mirror isn’t bad-looking—high cheekbones, strong jaw, a mouth that’s hitched up at one corner like he just got done telling a joke. Somewhere in the neighborhood of pretty. The way he tilts his head back and gazes out through half-open eyelids makes it seem like he’s used to looking down on everyone, like he’s smart and he knows he’s smart, and then it hits me that what he really looks like is an asshole. Except for the eyes themselves. They’re too serious and there are circles under them, like he hasn’t slept. He’s wearing the same Superman shirt I’ve been wearing all summer.

What does this mouth (Mom’s) mean with this nose (also Mom’s) and these eyes (a combination of Mom’s and Dad’s)? My eyebrows are darker than my hair but they aren’t as dark as Dad’s. My skin is a kind of middle brown color, not dark like Mom’s, and not light like Dad’s.

The other thing that doesn’t match up here is the hair. It’s this enormous lion’s mane Afro that looks like it’s allowed to do whatever the fuck it wants. If he’s anything like me, the guy in the mirror calculates everything. Even though this hair cannot be contained, he’s grown it for a reason. So he can find himself.

Something about the way these features add up is how people find each other in the world. Something about the combination makes them go, There’s Jack Masselin.

What’s your identifier? I say to my reflection, and I mean the real identifier, not this giant lion fro. I’m having a right serious moment, but then I hear a distinct snicker, and a tall, skinny blur goes breezing by. That would be my brother Marcus.

My name’s Jack and I’m so pretty, he sings all the way down the stairs.

Top 5 Most Embarrassing Moments of My Life

by Jack Masselin

1. That time my mom picked me up from kindergarten (after getting her hair cut), and in front of my teacher, the other kids, the other parents, and the principal, I accused her of trying to kidnap me.

2. That time I joined the pickup (uniform-free) soccer game at Reynolds Park and passed every ball to the opposite team, setting the all-time park record for Most Disastrous and Humiliating Debut Ever.

3. That time I’d been working with our high school sports therapist because of a shoulder injury, and, in the middle of Walmart, told the man I thought was my baseball coach, I could use another massage, only to discover it was actually Mr. Temple, Mom’s boss.

4. That time I hit on Jesselle Villegas, and it turned out to be Miss Arbulata, substitute teacher.

5. That time I made out with Caroline Lushamp and it was actually her cousin.

LibbyLibby

I don’t have my license, so Dad drives me. One of the many, many things I get to look forward to this school year is driver’s ed. I wait for my father to offer me sage words of advice or a stirring pep talk, but the most he comes up with is You got this, Libbs. I’ll be here to pick you up when it’s over. And the way he says it sounds ominous, like we’re in the opening scene of a horror movie. Then he gives me a smile, which is the kind of smile they would teach you in a parenting video. It’s a nervous smile taped up at the corners. I smile back.

What if I get stuck behind a desk? What if I have to eat lunch alone and no one talks to me for the rest of the school year?

My dad is a big, handsome guy. Salt of the earth. Smart (he does IT security for a big-name computer company). Smushy heart. After they freed me from the house, he had a hard time of it. As awful as it was for me, I think it was worse for him, especially the accusations of neglect and abuse. The press couldn’t imagine how else I would have been allowed to get so big. They didn’t know about the doctors he took me to and the diets we tried, even as he was mourning the loss of his wife. They didn’t see the food I hid from him under my bed and deep in the shadows of my closet. They couldn’t know that once I make up my mind about something, I’m going to do it. And I’d made up my mind to eat.

At first, I refused to talk to reporters, but at some point I needed to show the world that I’m okay and that my dad isn’t the villain they made him out to be, stuffing me with candy and cake in an effort to keep me there and dependent on him like those girls from The Virgin Suicides. So against my dad’s wishes I did one interview with a news station out of Chicago, and that interview traveled all the way to Europe and Asia and back again.

You see, my whole world changed when I was ten. My mom died, which was traumatic enough, but then the bullying started. It didn’t help that I developed early and that all at once my body felt too big for me. I’m not saying I blame my classmates. After all, we were kids. But I just want to make it clear that there were multiple factors at work—the bullying coupled with the loss of my most important person, followed by the panic attacks whenever I had to leave my house. Through it all, my dad was the one who stood by me.

I say to my dad now, Did you know that Pauline Potter, the World’s Heaviest Woman, lost ninety-eight pounds having marathon sex?

No sex of any kind for you until you’re thirty.

I think, We’ll see. After all, miracles happen every day. Which means maybe those kids who were so hateful to me on the playground have grown up and realized the error of their ways. Maybe they’ve actually turned out to be nice. Or maybe they’re even meaner. Every book I read and movie I watch seems to give out the same message: high school is the worst experience you can ever have.

What if I accidentally tell someone off so that I become the Sassy Fat Girl? What if some well-meaning skinny girls adopt me as their own and I become the Fat Best Friend? What if it’s clear to everyone that my homeschooling has really only equipped me for eighth grade, not eleventh, because I’m too stupid to understand any of my classwork?

My dad says, All you have to do is today, Libbs. If it completely and totally sucks, we can go back to homeschooling. Just give me one day. Actually, don’t give it to me. Give yourself one day.

I tell myself: Today. I tell myself: This is what you dreamed of when you were too scared to leave the house. This is what you dreamed of when you were lying in your bed for six months. This is what you wanted—to be out in the world like everyone else. I tell myself: It’s taken you two and a half years of fat camps and counselors and psychologists and doctors and behavioral coaches and trainers to get ready for this. For the past two and a half years, you’ve walked ten thousand steps a day. Every one of them was pointing you to now.

I can’t drive.

I’ve never been to a dance.

I completely missed middle school.

I’ve never had a boyfriend, although I did make out with this boy at camp once. His name is Robbie and he’s repeating his senior year somewhere in Iowa.

Except for my mom, I’ve never had a best friend, unless you count the ones I made up for myself—three brothers who lived across the street from my old house. The ones I called Dean, Sam, and Castiel, because they went to private school and I didn’t know their names. The ones I pretended were my friends.

My dad looks so nervous and hopeful that I grab my bag and push out onto the sidewalk, and then I’m standing in front of the school as people walk past me.

What if I’m late to every class because I can’t walk fast enough, and then I get detention, where I will meet the only boys who will pay attention to me—burnouts and delinquents—fall in love with one of them, get pregnant, drop out before I can graduate, and live with my dad for the rest of my life or at least until the baby is eighteen?

I almost get back in the car, but my dad is still sitting there, hopeful smile still

Reviews for Holding Up the Universe

[flipper_ace · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

"Holding up the Universe" has been on my to-read list for a long time. After receiving it as a gift in 2019, I'm glad that I was finally able to read this book. From start to finish, I enjoyed Libby and Jack's stories and how they were woven together. I could relate to their desires to be wanted and accepted, but also their realizations that they are different form everyone else. This book has made its way onto my favorites list and I can't wait to reread it sometime in the future.

[carriewuj · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

3.5 Not quite the masterpiece that All the Bright Places was, but a very good YA story about the insecurities everyone possesses and the ways they try to hide it. Told in alternating chapters by Libby Strout and Jack Masselin, the book is essentially the story of a school year (junior) and the unlikely events that bring these 2 very different teens together. The time sequence is important too and is clearly labeled, but was a little challenging on a e-reader. Libby was America's Fattest Teen and had to be extracted from her house by construction and a crane when she was 13 years old. She has lost 300 of the 600 pounds she once was and after being home-schooled during that process is returning to public school, specifically junior year of high school. She hopes for a fresh start and has made amazing progress in her self-awareness and self-understanding, and has learned a lot about her weight, her emotional issues and how to cope. Her problems were initially brought on by the sudden, unexpected death of her mother when she was 11 or 12. Now all her health and growth is about to be tested. Week 1 she encounters Jack Masselin, a popular kid whose deviant friends have dared him to play "Fat Girl Rodeo" in which he is supposed to grab her and not let go -- much like riding a bull. Libby decks him and they both end up in the principal's office. Jack reveals to Libby privately that he only took the dare in hopes of preventing his "friends" from doing the same or worse. He also reveals that he has a condition called prosopagnosia, or "face-blindness" in which he cannot recognize people by their facial features or retain memory of them. He has to find other identifiers like size, or hair (he himself wears a big afro) or birthmarks -- his girlfriend Caroline has a fake beauty mark-- and that he has been a great pretender all these years, because not even his family (whom he also cannot recognize) knows this about him. BTW, this is the second YA book to deal with this topic recently -- must be a thing. Jack and Libby and a few other miscreants get thrown together in a Breakfast Club-like scenario to work off their detentions and misbehavior and Jack and Libby become friends and more over time as they try to help each other navigate the awkward, cutthroat world of adolescence. Highlights: road trip to IU to confirm Jack's diagnosis. Libby's manifesto about kindness and acceptance that she delivers in the school hallway while wearing a bikini. Mr. Levine, cool school counselor who runs the after school Conversation Circle (detention). Libby's slam-dunk try-out for the school's dance team -- dancing is her major talent and her salvation. There are requisite mean girls and cocky guys who try to thwart Libby and Jack, but they both gain and retain a sense of themselves, separate and together that helps them become invincible. The overall message is to face the truth and be your truth.

[sheriawilkinson · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Holding Up The Universe by Jennifer Niven

Libby has been struggling with her weight her entire life known as "America's Fattest Teen". She is dealing with the death of her Mother and her grieving Father. She wants a normal life and to be accepted by her peers.

Jack is suffering from a rare condition Prosopagnosia or Face Blindness. He can't recognize people, including family. Due to this he uses humor (to cope) and does not allow anyone to get too close to him. He wants to live a normal life and be accepted as well.

The two form a friendship while facing normal teen problems and trying to overcome their own insecurities. Although the paring of the two would seem off to some, the union of the pair could be exactly what they need to live life to it's fullest.

The story moves at a fast pace with well developed characters and alternating (voice of) Libby and Jack. Both are very likable. I really wanted them to be self confident and find true happiness. Overall I found Holding Up the Universe very enjoyable. With true to life situations and told in a relatable way. I highly recommend to Young Adult and Adult readers as well. A definite five star read.

[jonez-6 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

4.50

There are so many things I love about this book. I loved it despite the often placed lovey dovey cliches you find in many of these YA contemporaries. That's says a lot for me as I'm usually quite unforgiving of convenient plot twists and lovers seeing stars. I still couldn't help loving this book because I loved Libby. I was Libby in my early college and high school years. Unfortunately my confidence and tenacity didn't come until many years later, and it's still a struggle not to be "trapped" within myself. I love that Niven created a 3 dimensional Libby instead of the typical pathetic fat girl character who is happy with tiny amounts of attention or scraps. I'm happy it isn't just a story of people learning to accept that fat girl, or the the fat girl gets a makeover and looses the weight and suddenly becomes usable and viable. Moreover, I'm glad the fat girl was actually fat and not a Bridget Jones 135 pounds. I wish this book was around when I was younger. I recommend this book for everyone who feels trapped and doesn't seem to fit.

[readingover50 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Holding Up the Universe by Jennifer Niven is an absolutely amazing book. It is the story of two teens. Libby Strout, who at one point in her young life had gained so much weight she had to be cut out of her house, and Jack Masselin, who has prosopagnosia, or face blindness. He has been able to hide this fact from everyone, including his family, but it is taking a toll on him. Due to a cruel stunt at school, Jack and Libby wind up in detention and group counseling together. As they begin to know each other, attractions develop.

I think Libby is a fantastic character. Although she still weighs enough to be considered morbidly obese, she has lost hundreds of pounds since being cut out of her house. She is eager to experience all life has to offer, and is not afraid to go for it. I love that she tries out for the school dance team, and is not afraid to speak her mind. She has a sure sense of self that is very appealing.

Libby's burgeoning relationship with Jack feels natural, not forced. She becomes the first person he tells about his prosopagnosia. The reader gets to experience a lot of firsts with Libby: first kiss, first date, first high school party. I really felt invested in her life and her happiness.

This is a very sweet love story, with great, complicated characters. Although both Jack and Libby have unusual problems, they feel very natural, not forced at all. I also feel like I learned a bit about prosopagnosia. I was pleasantly surprised by this book. I enjoyed it so much and will recommend it to all my friends. (And I love the cover so much. So pretty!)

I received a free copy from Blogging for Books in exchange for an honest review.

[bdartnall_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Libby is starting school again - now a junior, the last time she attended school, her mom had suddenly died, her dad was grieving, and Libby was so afraid & sad, she began eating. She ate until she earned the media title "America's Fattest Teen." Hospitalization, counseling, and dietary help brings Libby back to being a functioning, active young woman, and it's time to "re-enter" the world. Jack Masselin, popular and dating off and one of the most aloof and beautiful girls on campus; however, he has a secret no one knows, not even his family. Jack suspects he has some sort of disorder: he cannot recognize people by their faces. He struggles to identify even his good friends, his little brother, everyone, and uses all sorts of other "identifiers" to put the correct name to everyone in his world. Not until he goes to a nearby university and has himself tested by specialists does he confirm what he fears: he does have severe prosopagnosia.
Backing up: It's Libby's first week back at school and she's already begun to tentatively re-initiate with grade school friends and get through the gauntlet of being "new girl". Jack watches one of his friends gleefully wrap his arms around an unsuspecting chubby girl as she crosses the track & is told there's a new "game". He reluctantly accepts his friends' challenge in the "Fat Girl Rodeo" contest: grab a fat girl, hug her tight for as many seconds as you can in order to "win". Jack launches himself at Libby in the cafeteria; to his surprise, rather than flee crying, Libby not only throws him off of her, she punches him. Their punishment: join a group with school counselor- The Conversation Circle- to do community service around the school and work through their issues.
To their surprise, Jack and Libby become more than detention "buddies" - they become friends. And maybe more... Niven effortlessly walks us through the pangs and sorrows of teen love, self-identity, acceptance, and self empowerment, and weaves in a poignant love story too. Too good to put down, so real it will make you wince or laugh out loud.

[jessika.c · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Because of the amazing book Bone Gap, I learned what prosopagnosia is. I feel like I have a mild form of this because to be honest, I will not remember what a person looks like to save my life. I have met three famous people up close and I didn’t even recognize that they were famous until much later when someone else pointed them out to me. In fact, I find someone much more recognizable on a screen than I did in person so there’s some sort of disconnect there if I’m being honest.

Anyway, so Libby Strout is one of those people that believes that someone out there has it worse. She is that person that someone else can use as an example of someone who has it worse. Someone might think they are fat but Libby is actually fat and she knows it. Plus her family life isn’t the greatest, her mom died and her dad can kind of be distant.

Jack gets by in life on his charm and ability to make people think that he’s super invested in them. Truth is he can’t recognize anyone without obvious identifiers. That has gotten him in trouble on more than one occasion. Because of this, he feels like no one really knows the real him just the person he has projected to save face.

When his friends start a cruel form of bullying called the fat rodeo, Jack decides to get ahead of it and “help” the biggest girl so she doesn’t get worse treatment from the other guys involved. He writes her an apology letter in advance and “hugs” her. Libby knows the purpose of the hug and punches him in the face thus starting a wonderful friendship. *sarcasm*

I actually did like this book it was really funny at some points and I really felt for both Jack and Libby in the whole aspect about people assuming you’re one way when it’s just the image that you have let them see. Part of me thought the romance was kind of lame, I would have preferred if it was a slow burn but obviously it’s not. In the end, I thought both characters were pretty funny and I really enjoyed the family dynamics that were explored in this book.

[billiebook · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Part of me wants to write this entirely in response to the whiny haters who are giving it one-star reviews, but, to them, I'll only say this: Maybe this book isn't for you. That's fine. But maybe wait until after you've read it to spew your vitriol. It's not uncommon for the jacket copy/synopsis to misrepresent the true contents of the book, especially since the book is still in the editorial process when that copy is written and there may still be significant changes to come. It's like judging an adult based on a teacher's assessment from the first day of kindergarten. So, please, just unbunch your panties, take a deep breath, and stop looking for offense everywhere you turn. Because, guaranteed, if you look for offense, you are bound to find it.

Anyway...

Libby is amazing. As someone who has struggled with weight all my life, I envied her confidence. She was strong and beautiful and sure of her place in the world. I honestly think she deserves better than Jack, but he seems to make her happy, so whatever. And, their relationship develops in a really natural way without being sticky-sweet and sentimental. I feel like I have a lot I want to say about this book, but I don't think I have the words to properly express myself. it's sweet, but not overly so. It's smart and funny and true. It's heartbreaking and uplifting. It's a girl who would, in most books of this sort, be the one who got "fixed" by her relationship with the popular boy instead being the one who finally gets the popular boy to come clean about his condition. It's not the book I expected it to be, but it's exactly the book I didn't know I wanted it to be.

The haters are going to hate and they're going to look for things about this book to offend them and, because they're looking, they'll find. But, if you approach this book with an open mind and open heart, you're far more likely to find someone and something to inspire.

[tamaranewman · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Good book. Kept waiting for the shit to hit the fan right up until the last page. I don't think I'll ever forgive Jennifer Niven for All The Bright Places.

[jcumani-1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Molto bello, tocca argomenti come il lutto, il bullismo, gli scompensi alimentari, ecc. ma lo fa con dolcezza e poesia

[atreic · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

A cute YA love story about a pair of misfits, a very fat girl and a boy who can't recognise faces. Libby's story is interesting because we meet her on a path to recovery - she's been depressed and trapped but is rebuilding herself and rediscovering the real world, with strength of character and the help of her therapist. Nice for the exciting tingly feels about falling in love, nice for the 'bullying people is bad mmmkay, everyone is a real person, bullies are evil' vibe. Some of Libby's survival strategies - she gets anonymous letters saying 'you are not wanted' and so takes off all her clothes and walks the halls in a purple bikini with 'I am wanted' written all over her body - feel like the sort of thing it's easy to write about, but that would misfire in real life. And not a lot actually happens. But very easy to read, and sweet.

[I wasn't aware when I picked this up of all the controversy around it, and the debates around whether this is improved diversity, or showcasing the freakshow. I think it's probably impossible to write a book about how hard it is to be a fat teen at highschool without getting into some pretty awful areas, even if you don't condone the existence of people who behave like that. And I think even the most sympathetic book about a teen cut out of their house for being too fat is going to veer into voyeristic 'OMG, they were cut out of their house because they were So Fat!' So I think it probably did what it was doing surprisingly well, but superficially, and what it was doing was always going to have problems.]

[acargile-1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

A realistic fiction novel, Holding Up the Universe, takes a look at two teens who struggle to let others know who they are.

Libby Strout is very well known--a video of her went viral years ago when she was literally cut out of her house because she was so overweight. Time has passed and she’s lost A LOT of weight and is returning to school. Needless to say, people are not all nice about a very large girl (she could still lose well over 100 lbs) coming to their school. She, however, is very confident. She believes that she is worthy and that she has a lot to offer. She’s a great dancer with a great personality. She’s also smart and fairly sassy, not letting anyone treat her badly.

Jack Masselin knows how to handle people. He’s got swagger and he’s got charm. He also has a dark secret; he suffers face blindness (known as prosopagnosia). In fact, he can’t even recognize his own family. He knows that his brother has big ears. He refers to his mother as mother with hair up or mother with hair down. If he were to meet them outside of the house, he wouldn’t know them. Years ago he witnessed Libby being cut out because she lived across the street. He sent her a note saying he was rooting for her. Now that she’s returned to school, he cares that she not be treated badly. One mistake by Jack and she becomes a target. Somehow this mistake gives him the courage to tell her the truth--he’s face blind. She keeps his secret but encourages him to get properly diagnosed and to TELL people.

This is a funny novel--Libby has a great sense of humor and Jack’s humor is almost self-deprecating. No one expects them to be friends, much less actually like each other. Libby doesn’t let Jack get away with trying to manipulate her; instead, she makes him be honest. I know the novel sounds like it’s a heavy novel with heavy topics, but it’s actually amusing and fun. I listened to the audio, and the performers are excellent.

[marthajeanne · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

I managed about half of this. I didn't care about the characters. The book is overloaded with several major issues that can't then be handled properly. About all I can say for this book is that it made me very glad that I am not a teenager.

[ecataldi-1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

A charming, hard to put down young adult book that is sure to garner lots of teen fans. Told from alternating perspectives of two extraordinarily different teenagers; Libby Strout was once so fat she had to be cut out of her house, Jack Masselin on the other hand is a popular jock with a hidden secret, he can't see or remember faces. When his friends dare him to try out this game they dubbed, "fat rodeo" he jumps on the back of Libby to see how long he can hang on. She punches him in the face and they both end up in detention. Together they realize they have more in common then they thought and build a beautiful friendship that hints at something more. Wonderfully told, you can't help but feeling for Libby and Jack and cringing when life throws them curve-balls. A wonderful read that kept me hooked.

I received this book for free from Blogging for Books in return for my honest, unbiased opinion.

[arielfl · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Holding up the Universe is the love story of two teens who are battling issues (face blindness and obesity). There are a lot of preachy messages in it about loving yourself and not conforming to what other people think you should be. These messages are delivered by fantasy teens who are extremely mature and self aware in ways that real teens are not. While I appreciate the message of self acceptance, the characters of Jack and Libby were just too precious. I do realize that this is a YA book and I am not the intended target so if teen's love this book more power to them. I do give the author props for her many mentions of Shirley Jackson's We Have Always Lived in a Castle and Arthur Miller's The Crucible. If this book leads someone to those literary classics than this was a worthwhile endeavor.

[shellypya · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

A boy with face blindness and a girl who struggles with weight fall in love. Jennifer Niven delivers another poignant, exhilarating love story about finding that person who sees you for who you are - and seeing them right back.

[heatherlinc · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I wasn't a big fan of Niven's "All the Bright Places", but this book was great. I enjoyed Libby and Jack's dual narrative. Their stories were both moving and poignant, and I loved watching their courage and self-worth grow and strengthen. Both of them struggled with their insecurities; Libby with her weight and Jack with his face-blindness. However, I loved them both. Libby was a strong, feisty character while Jack was totally loveable and a bit of a bad boy, swagger and all. Their romance was sweet, gentle and believable, and rather reminiscent of "Eleanor and Park".

Overall, I found "Holding Up the Universe" a refreshing read with a beautiful message - everyone is important regardless of gender, size, colour, social status or sexuality, so be true to yourself and be proud of who you are: there is no one else like you in the universe.

[susan.macura · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Libby Strout is one of the best characters in fiction, especially in young adult fiction. She is smart, funny, kind, extremely brave, ethical, loyal and FAT! In point of fact, at one point she was famous because she was so fat she had to be cut out of her house during a panic attack! However, Libby found ways to deal with life and is back at school when this tale begins, and what a tale! Not only is Libby a wonderful person, but so is cool guy Jack Masselin, who has his own devils to contend with and turns out to be another very likable character despite his best efforts to just be cool and fit in! I simply loved this book because of its characters and realistic story line.

[leahlo89 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

It's like a better version of Dumplin', but I'm just not loving this "fat girl gets her groove back" trend in YA right now.

[liindasnow97 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

It's 3:26 am and I just finished this book and I need love, a bed, and people to read this book. It's simply amazing. Or maybe it just touched too close to home. Who knows?
It doesn't take away the fact that it's brilliant and mind-changing.
Pick it up. Read it.
Now.

Edit #1: Why are people so offended by a book being about a fat girl? Jesus Christ, as a person who deals with obesity, I actually liked the change of having a protagonist with my insecurities and my fights. Stop getting offended with things that don't even relate to you. When did readers and reviewers turn into a politically correct police (aka tumblr)? Take. A. Break.

[nikkinmichaels · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

I am so bummed about this. Jennifer Niven's ALL THE BRIGHT PLACES is one of my favorite books of all time, and I still think it's one of the most important novels about mental health in existence. HOLDING UP THE UNIVERSE, though, is mediocre at best. It has none of the heartbreaking urgency and devastating love of ATBP, and its characters can't hold a candle to Violet and Finch. I found this flat and uninspiring in every way, so here's hoping her next YA venture is more like the first.

[edgoldberg · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Jack and Libby. Libby and Jack. Two teenagers with issues. Jack has Prosopagnosia and can’t recognize faces, even of those who are close to him…even his girlfriend, which has caused him problems in the past. He’s identified other means of, sort of, recognizing people, but it’s certainly not fool proof. Libby was once dubbed America’s Fattest Teen and had to be lifted out of her house by means of a crane. Currently half her former size, she’s still a big girl, subject to the taunts of her high school peers.

Libby, having been the brunt of a cruel joke perpetrated by Jack, punched him, so they are both destined to serve time in the Conversation Circle after school, where they and several other teens discuss their behavior, among other things. It is there that they get to know each other and find out what makes each other tick.

Libby is still mourning the sudden death of her mother five years earlier, an impetus to her spiraling weight. Jack knows about his father’s affair and is trying to hide both this and his Prosopagnosia from the rest of the family. Can two people with issues come together and understand each other?

Jennifer Niven came on the scene in early 2015 with the critically acclaimed All the Bright Places in which she tackles suicide and bipolar disorder. In Holding Up the Universe, she tackles another subject affecting not only teens. Living in an era in which match-stick thin is a sign of beauty, being a larger size can have a dramatic impact on a person’s self image. Libby, however, knows who she is after having lived through a period during which she never left her home. She’s proud of who she is and wants to the world to know she is loved and wanted and just a great person. She, in turn, tries to instill that confidence in others.

While I enjoyed reading Holding Up the Universe, I found Libby to be too rah-rah. Is that possible given her past? Yet maybe that’s what’s necessary to let the world know that self worth isn’t inversely proportional to weight. On the other side, I don’t know how Jack made it through life without anyone knowing of his disability. It seems incredible. In looking back, I also had an issue with characters in All the Bright Places.

Niven has put together an interesting supporting cast, most of whom ring true. All in all, Hold Up the Universe was an enjoyable read.