Hand-Me-Down Dream (Essay): Father, Son, and the Burden of Basketball

By George Dohrmann

In this eBook exclusive essay, Pulitzer Prize–winning sports journalist George Dohrmann follows a father and son separated by prison bars—but bonded by their pursuit of basketball glory.
 
The dream of playing big-time basketball never came true for Bruce Nelson, so he passed it on to his son Roberto. His every waking moment as a father was devoted to securing Roberto a Division I scholarship. Oftentimes he worried that his son’s lack of competitive fire might put that dream in jeopardy—when in fact it was Bruce’s own actions that would do so. When Bruce is forced to monitor Roberto’s progress from behind penitentiary walls, his influence recedes—and so too does Roberto’s commitment to the aspirations they once shared. In a story that combines deep insight into family relationships with the deft storytelling that distinguished his award-winning Play Their Hearts Out, George Dohrmann follows Roberto as he addresses his life’s most difficult decisions in the absence of his best friend and most constant companion. In doing so, Dohrmann sheds new light on the larger story of basketball dreams and the pressures they place on young athletes.
 
Includes an excerpt from George Dohrmann’s Play Their Hearts Out, winner of the PEN/ESPN Award for Literary Sportswriting and the Award for Excellence in the Coverage of Youth Sports.
 
Praise for Play Their Hearts Out
 
“Often heartbreaking, always riveting.”—The New York Times Book Review
 
“Tremendous.”—The Plain Dealer
 
“Indispensable.”—The Wall Street Journal
 
“A tour de force of reporting, filled with deft storytelling and vivid character studies.”—The Washington Post
 
“One of the finest sports books of all time.”—Harper’s Magazine
 
“Amazing stuff . . . the Friday Night Lights of youth basketball.”—Leigh Montville, author of The Big Bam
 
“A landmark achievement in basketball journalism.”—Kirkus Reviews (starred review)
 
NAMED ONE OF THE BEST SPORTS BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY THE LOS ANGELES TIMES • THE CHRISTIAN SCIENCE MONITOR • KIRKUS REVIEWS

• Language: English
• Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
• Release date: Feb 7, 2012
• ISBN: 9780345530127

Book preview

ALSO BY GEORGE DOHRMANN

Play Their Hearts Out: A Coach, His Star Recruit, and the Youth Basketball Machine

A Ballantine Books eBook Original

Copyright © 2012 by George Dohrmann

Excerpt from Play Their Hearts Out © 2010 by George Dohrmann

All rights reserved.

Published in the United States by Ballantine Books, an imprint of The Random House Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc., New York.

BALLANTINE and colophon are registered trademarks of Random House, Inc.

eISBN: 978-0-345-53012-7

Cover design: David Stevenson

Cover photograph: © Scobel Wiggins

www.ballantinebooks.com

v3.1

Contents

Cover

Other Books by This Author

Title Page

Copyright

First Page

Excerpt from Play Their Hearts Out

About the Author

On the eve of the verdict, Bruce Nelson sat on the couch in the living room of his apartment, unable to sleep. His ex-wife had given him some of her Xanax, but even that didn’t relax him. So he spent several hours sitting there in the dark.

Foremost in his thoughts was his son, Roberto, a junior at Santa Barbara (California) High School. For almost seventeen years, Bruce’s total focus had been on ushering Roberto toward a basketball scholarship to a Division I university and then, with some measure of good fortune, on to the NBA. Bruce had failed in his own pursuit of hoops stardom, and like many unfulfilled former athletes he foisted his dream onto his son. Everything in Bruce’s life, including the criminal charges against him, was framed by that dream. If found guilty on all counts, Bruce could be sentenced to life in prison, yet even that was a secondary concern, less important than how the outcome of his trial would affect Roberto’s basketball career.

We’re so close with this basketball thing, he said. If this doesn’t happen for Roberto because of me, well … He couldn’t finish the sentence; it was just too horrible.

Roberto had developed into one of the better guards in the country, and numerous colleges, including Florida, Ohio State, and UCLA, had shown interest in him. But Bruce’s trial, which began in March 2008, came at a crucial moment. Each spring and summer, college coaches scouted players at tournaments and camps across the country. Known as the Amateur Athletic Union season—or, by others, as the grassroots season—it was the most important time of the year for prospects like Roberto, and Bruce could ill-afford to have him distracted. Even worse, an unfavorable verdict might lead Roberto to skip the grassroots season altogether to be with his father before sentencing.

Sitting there in the dark, that is what Bruce thought about: how the crumbling of his life might lead Roberto away from the game.

At around 4:00 a.m., less than twelve hours before he would drive to the Santa Barbara County Courthouse, Bruce got up from the couch and paced the apartment for several minutes before ending up in the doorway of Roberto’s room. Bruce often peered in on Roberto on the nights when he couldn’t sleep; he would stand and watch his boy’s body rise and fall with breath. Bruce was there only a moment before Roberto stirred.

Hey, Dad, I see you, he said.

Sorry, son. I didn’t mean to wake you.

It’s okay. I’ve been awake.

Bruce walked to Roberto’s bed and Roberto slid over and Bruce lay down next to him. He wrapped his left arm over his son and told him he loved him and then Bruce began to sob, and Roberto remained silent as his father cried himself to sleep.

* * *

Calling them father and son never seemed accurate. The order was wrong. Roberto came first, and he was all that mattered, so much so that the son usurped the father and became the head of their unusual family.

On the surface, Bruce filled the paternal role. He worked three jobs, including part-time as an assistant coach for the basketball team at Santa Barbara High. He monitored Roberto’s grades and he occasionally disciplined his son, although one got the sense that Roberto agreed to be punished only for the sake of appearances. Bruce was merely the titular head of the family, and his happiness was so bound to Roberto’s basketball career that it gave the son enormous power while also saddling him with an unfair burden.

My dad, you know, I’m all he’s got, Roberto said. I need him. I do. But he needs me more. You know what I’m saying? It’s like I’m all he’s got, and so I gotta make sure he’s okay.

I first met Roberto when he was twelve years old, when he joined a Southern California–based AAU team I was following for my first book, Play Their Hearts Out. He was more mature than the other boys on the team, on the court and off, and as I got to know Bruce, as I witnessed his dedication to his