In the Fire: The Beginning

By E Moore

Charleston, a well respected man in his community, always told his wife Karen he knew how far to go when it came to living on the edge. Until now, he'd been right! Trapped in a real life fatal attraction, his lustful desires force him out of the life of his wife and children and into the manipulating hands of his girlfriend. Then one night comes his moment of truth, but will it be too late for him to reconcile with his family? Can the family pull together and move beyond the pain Charleston has caused?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Apr 6, 2011
• ISBN: 9781257424894

Book preview

One

~

Karen Sinclair pulled the .45 caliber semi-automatic from her mattress and admired the cold, dark weapon’s ability to give her a false sense of control. She was still angry at her husband Charleston for coming home at 3:30 a.m. soaked with liquor last night and now she sat up in their bed contemplating how she could fix the situation herself.

As if coming home ‘lit up’ like some carefree college student wasn’t enough, Charleston proceeded to wake her and tell her just how much he couldn’t stand her.

You ruined my life! he yelled at the top of his corn mash, stench-filled lungs. You got pregnant so you could trap me!

The truth was 23 years ago, Charleston Sinclair and Karen Mathews had both fallen for one another so tough, that everyone they came in contact with said they were connected at the hip. So, no matter how much Charleston yelled at her and tried to blame her for his unhappiness, both he and Karen knew there was nothing she did to trap him. If he was so unhappy like he’d stated, he only had himself to blame for it, Karen reminded herself.

The reality of it was, Charleston made a habit of staying out extremely late, doing God knows what, and coming home drunk spewing out hurtful words until he passed out.

Karen just wasn’t in the mood to hear them tonight.

As she rustled the sheets, the more she thought about Charleston, the more upset she became. The way Karen saw it, this man had it as good as good could get!

She never said anything when he went out on the weekends without her. She never questioned him about what he was doing all those nights he stayed gone until three or four in the morning. So at this point, for him to express unhappiness about their marriage was a bunch of mess!

He’s been getting his cake and eating it too, Karen protested in her mind. Charleston doesn’t have one reason to complain, not one.

In their past arguments, Karen told Charleston how lucky he was to have such a good woman. It was no secret that she put up with more than most women ever would, he knew it and she knew it. Karen was sure she could write a book about all the things Charleston had put her through over the years. She’d forgiven him more times than she could remember.

Eww! Sometimes he just makes me so sick! she muttered out loud as if she were talking to someone other than herself.

Tonight she made up her mind that she wasn’t going to listen to Charleston tell her everything she wasn’t, or all the ways she somehow messed up his life!

Not this time, she thought. This time, as soon as he opened his mouth in a cursing rage, she would scare out all the hell he had in him by simply pointing the gun at him.

Karen chuckled at this new found idea of being in control of she and Charleston’s relationship for once; she was enjoying this feeling no doubt. She found herself imagining Charleston’s face if she were to pull the gun on him. How surprised he would be! She could just see him now, his mouth drooped all open, his eyes round and big! His six foot ebony brown muscular charm would go running right out the bedroom door! Karen pictured him falling to his knees and begging her for forgiveness.

Karen stood and looked out of their bedroom window. She pushed the sheer white curtains back slightly to see if she could see Charleston’s silver Lexus pull up out front.

Damn you Charleston! Karen said as she shook her head. She thought she had let go of her anger about his purchase of the Lexus long ago, but now realized that it still pissed her off. Charleston’s selfishness in buying the Lexus without discussing it with Karen irritated her to no end. Matter-of-fact, he always bought things that were way beyond their budget without consulting her. She wished he would change his spending habits.

Karen heard footsteps in the hallway. Oh Lord, she said looking down at the gun she’d forgotten she held in her hand.

The last thing she needed was one of the children coming into her bedroom and seeing her holding the gun. She was sure it would scare them, and there would be no end to the questions she would have to answer. As she listened carefully, Karen relaxed her grip on the gun, placed it behind her back, and waited at the door to see if the child would knock. All of a sudden she felt ashamed for entertaining thoughts of intimidating Charleston with the 45. She had taught her children to never override someone else’s will, and now here she was plotting and planning how she should do it.

Let me put this gun up, before I shoot my own toe off, she said making her way back over to the bed. She was relieved when she heard the bathroom door open instead of a knock on her bedroom door.

Karen stared at the phone on the nightstand wishing Charleston would call her from wherever he was.

Despite her anger, she still longed to be with Charleston in every way. She desperately desired his attention and longed for his gentle touch.

Lately, Karen was starting to hate the fact that she loved Charleston so much. He was and would always be her first love, her one and only love since high school and there was no other man on earth who could take his place. There was no man who could make her feel good emotionally, spiritually, or mentally the way Charleston could.

Often times, while she was at work, Karen daydreamed of what it would be like to be with him as if it were their first time together. How wonderful his touch would feel to her when she got home. She dreamed of how gentle he would be when they made love. If they had an argument or he hurt her in any way, he would quickly apologize. The truth was Karen knew she was only making Charleston into someone he was not.

At least he stopped cheating some time ago. Infidelity in their marriage somehow seemed to steal away the gentleness and affection they once shared. Now, with every passing day Charleston became intolerably arrogant. Karen was not pleased with the way he’d been acting, but despite all his wrong doing, he was still her husband and she loved him.

She stared at the minutes passing by on her alarm clock.

It was then that Karen realized the devil was playing with her mind causing her to have one negative thought after another about her husband. He was pointing out all of Charleston’s weaknesses and Karen regretted listening for the last hour. She enforced her power over the devil by thinking about the goodness of God.

This ain’t my battle… she said. Lord, I have faith that you are healing my marriage in the name of Jesus. What I really want you to do is bring my husband home and give me strength until he gets here, Karen insisted. I’m sorry for gettin’ in your way… for not trustin’ in you like I know to do, she said as she placed the gun safely back underneath the mattress.

Who was she kidding anyway?

Maybe in another life Karen had enough spunk and guts to stand up to a man like Charleston. Pulling a gun on him was surely a trap set up by the enemy himself, and she was glad she hadn’t gone through with it. It was a trap that was sure to get Karen into a worse situation.

Oh, the many times she even thought to rebel against Charleston, whether physically, verbally, or mentally were sure to result in a broken television, wall, you name it. Karen learned a long time ago to pick her battles.

She was tired of spending her nights sitting in the darkness of her room trying to figure out exactly where her marriage with Charleston had gone wrong.

When times got hard like tonight, after she thought about wrapping her hands around his throat, then repenting to God for trying to fix her marriage her way, Karen tried to think about Charleston’s good points.

She remembered when he was gentle and kind. She remembered when he fixed her breakfast in the morning and came home at lunch for a mid-day rendezvous.

Thelonious Monk played in the background while lavender incense burned.

Karen wore his favorite red silk-negligee which clung to all the right places. There were times he never touched the lunch she had prepared for him, but was satisfied with spending every free moment in her presence.

How she missed those times.

The marriage hadn’t always been rocky like this. He hadn’t always acted so self-absorbed like this.

It was a few months after Charleston was promoted director over his department with higher pay, that Karen started noticing a real change in him. He had become less patient with her. He stopped coming home for lunch and began spending less time at home until eventually he wasn’t coming home from work at all. He blamed it on the fact that he was making a lot more money, which put him under a lot of stress.

More money means more hours. All I need is some down-time, he’d said. But now that down-time turned into spending evenings and nights away from home.

Still, Karen made a personal promise to herself that she would be the best wife she could be. Her job was to support Charleston and that was what she made up her mind to do. He was her man, and she was going to be there for him. No matter how many times he’d caused her pain with his words, she was not giving up her faith in God for what she wanted. It was the only way she knew how to deal with this mess of a marriage. She had faith God himself was the only one who could change and reconcile the two of them. She had been praying that He would.

Somebody got to fight for this family, or it won’t be one, Karen said aloud. Charleston is a good man. No man is perfect… I’m not perfect myself… I’m just going to do what I know to do. I got to keep on praying. Karen continued encouraging herself.

Karen knew enough about the Word of God to know her fight was not against flesh and blood. If she wanted her marriage to survive, she was certain she had to spiritually fight for it.

Charleston’s battle with lust kept her on her knees praying.

It was no secret the late nightclubs always seemed to get him into trouble. It was in these nightclubs that he would meet the women, drink the beers, and live the lifestyle that would eventually kill him if the Lord didn’t intervene. It was a habit he was going to eventually break some day, Karen hoped.

Karen fluffed the pillows in her bed. She was restless.

Only God knew how much she wanted to wake up from this nightmare. Everyone she talked to about her situation told her leaving him was the only advice they could give her, which was always easier said than done. Karen didn’t want to leave Charleston. She wanted to be with him, she just wanted him to change his ways.

There were too many fears associated with leaving Charleston. She was working on 42 years-old now, smack dead in the middle of her life and it seemed too late to start another. Money to support her and the kids was a major factor in Karen’s determining to stay with him. And the thought of ever finding someone new was just too scary to even consider. Charleston was all she knew sexually. She hadn’t dated in over 24 years and the possibility of catching a sexually transmitted disease from another man didn’t interest her one bit. To add to her fears of starting over, Karen had five kids.

What man would want me and five kids? she said. Karen was all of a sudden overwhelmed with the uncertainty of her future.

She wished she’d finished college, or at least taken some college classes within the last 15 years. Then at least she’d have something to fall back on. But as things stood now, she felt like she had been stuck working at Warren Bank & Trust for the last ten years. With minimum job promotions and rare pay raises, Karen knew she wouldn’t have much of a retirement. She hated her job, but it paid the bills, and besides, no other job would let her leave work when there was an emergency with the children.

Throughout the years Charleston suggested she go back to school.

But how could I? Karen thought to herself.

With his unstable his work history, how could she afford to go back to school? Who would take care of the kids while she was at school? Charleston was so wishy-washy when it came to keeping the children Karen kept working and paid no attention to Charleston’s contradictory request.

Now 23 years later, she convinced herself it was too late to go back to school because of so many other things.

Their five girls kept her hands more than full. When would she find time to study even if she did go back to school? It seemed like Karen had been pregnant for the last twenty years, popping out one baby after another.

She picked up the picture of her girls that set on the dresser in front of her. She softly traced their faces with her fingertips in the moonlit room. Before placing the picture back, she gently pressed a kiss from her lips and fingertips onto the glass of the frame.

Karen loved her kids; they were, in fact, her pride and joy. Next to God, they were her strength. Everything she endured had been for them. They were her bundles of hope and joy.

Deon her oldest daughter, who had been enlisted in the Air Force for the last two years, was off enjoying learning how to fly F-18’s in Oklahoma City. Then there was Andrea, who always seemed interested in finding out how things worked. She always had a plan. Karen was sure she was going to own corporations some day. There was Kia, who was two years younger than Andrea, who always had a question for everything and an answer for every question. She was the one her mother determined would be the writer/journalist in the family. Then there were the twins, Kim and Kendra, they were a delightful handful. She could always count on them for some excitement, whether it be bickering at each other, running and jumping around the house, or dying each others hair some outrageous color that might take two weeks to wash out. Karen thanked God for them everyday of her life.

Karen climbed in the bed and pulled the covers over her body. She gazed over at the alarm clock and realized it was already 5 a.m. and still no Charleston. Just then something in her mind told her chest to start hurting, but she paid no attention to it. She was sure Charleston was trying to make her have a heart attack from a broken heart. This whole night seemed like a repeat of last night, but she wasn’t going to let anything steal her joy.

Karen planned to get up and do what she did every Saturday morning in the Sinclair house; clean up. This was the great day of the week when she and the children woke up at 7 a.m. and cleaned, cleaned, cleaned. She needed her rest to be fully functional in a couple of hours. I know I better get to bed, its getting late… Lord, let your will be done… she said out loud as she turned over and drifted off to sleep.

Two

~

Charleston climbed into his silver Lexus GX 470. The engine purred to life and he turned on the heat to clear the opaque crystals on his windshield. Though the roads were icy, that fact wasn’t enough to keep him from rolling to Suga, a place he could have a few drinks and listen to live music from local R&B artists. He enjoyed the relaxing atmosphere of this spot like no other and it was no surprise Suga was his normal hang out.

More than anything, he loved the way he was treated there. Everyone showed him respect and looked at him like he was a hero. The owners were especially kind to him. Every Saturday night they reserved one of their best tables for him whether they knew he was coming or not.

A man of my stature deserves this kind of respect, thought Charleston to himself. Not to mention the fact I’ve been coming to this club off and on every Friday and Saturday night for almost 15 years.

Hey man?

Yeah… What’s up?

The owner, who had just come outside to take out some trash, yelled at Charleston to get his attention.

Charleston reluctantly pressed the steering wheel mounted window control for his tinted window. His intentions were to leave the club and get home and he was trying not to get annoyed when he saw the owner walking up to his Lexus.

"I sure could use you around here. I need a good bodyguard to take care of thangs around