You Thought You Wanted to Be Level 99, But Really You Wanted to Be a Better Person

By L. Rowyn

Three Gamers, Two Ex-Lovers, One Comedy of Errors

 

When Griffin met a gorgeous young woman in a Guardians t-shirt, he shouldn't've led her to believe he was an expert at the Guardians MMO -- which he hasn't played in years. Now he's desperate to make up for lost time and level up before Kalisha returns from her vacation and expects to play it with him.

 

After Rachel stumbled into a group in Guardians with her ex, she should've told him who she was. But it's wonderful to game with Griffin again, especially since the two of them found the perfect sorceress to complete their tank-healer pair. How can she tell him now, and ruin the trio's synergy?

 

When Kalisha decided to play Guardians on her vacation, she didn't want her friends to tease her about it. But using an unknown alt to group with her housemate wasn't the most ethical plan. Especially not given that Kalisha already has a crush on her. Rachel is bound to find out eventually, and it's only getting more awkward the longer Kalisha waits.

 

Meanwhile, the three players grow increasingly close as their characters level together ...

• Language: English
• Publisher: Delight in Books
• Release date: Nov 23, 2021
• ISBN: 9798201856151

Book preview

Level 99

Copyright © 2021 by L. Rowyn and Delight in Books. All rights reserved.

Visit the author online at www.ladyrowyn.com

Cover art by L. Rowyn. Reference images courtesy of https://pixabay.com/

Delight logo courtesy of Tod Willis.

Subscribe to L. Rowyn's mailing list at http://eepurl.com/cedZTb and receive a free novelette, The Mortal Prince and the Moon Etherium.

First release 2021 (v1.00)

To Tuftears, for gifting me with the book’s title and brainstorming ideas for the story

The Unbeatable Boss

May 18, 2021

The raid was headed for their fourth wipe of the night.

Kalisha suppressed a yawn as she targeted a group of trash monsters and ballet’d[1] the lot of them. On her screen, the enemy figures froze in place, twitching; she’d turned off spell effects and so didn’t see the spinning that gave the spell its nickname. She had a high-end gaming laptop, but the Nightmare Palace was an elaborate new location in Guardians of the Twin Realms. With a full twenty-player raid, plus the Emperor, plus the inevitable adds, not even her machine could keep up at full resolution.

The Emperor of Nightmares shouts, Sweet dreams are made of THIS!

Don’t stand in the fire, Theddavin ordered, amidst cursing on the Discord voice channel. Kalisha had already used the blink spell to yank her avatar – an elegant demoness named Kirazath – ten feet backwards. That removed her from the area of effect of the attack the Emperor unleashed, shown as an inky black blotch on the tilting floor of the throne room. Her point of view turned sideways with the spell cast.

This dungeon will give me motion sickness yet, Kalisha growled into her microphone. The throne room was an Escher homage by way of Labyrinth. It was full of floating platforms and staircases set at every angle, with no defined down. From her new orientation, most of the raid was at an angle between 60 and 180 degrees to her.

Should’ve played a pixie, CubSugarfly said, with an audible smirk. Pixie characters hovered around five feet above the ground; the shifting gravity in the throne room did not affect their camera.

May a dreadrat steal your last chocolate, Kalisha retorted as she oriented herself to locate the Emperor. At least it was easy to discern amongst everything else moving in the room. From the next room, she could hear Cub’s player, her housemate, cackling at the remark. The other woman spared the voice chat by not unmuting for that, however.

The Emperor of Nightmares was a three-headed dragon, with vast scaly wings and a thick, squat body. Colors swirled and roiled over their scales, like rainbows in an oil slick. The center head was always draconic, but the side heads varied. At present, the left head was human while the right head was a minotaur’s. Kalisha targeted the human head.

The Emperor of Nightmares has begun to cast a spell

The Emperor of Nightmares says, Foolish children. Do you think you can kill a dream?

CubSugarfly says, Never worked retail, have you?

Kirazath has cast Distract on Emperor of Nightmares [left head]

The Emperor of Nightmare’s spell is interrupted!

Good work, Kira, Theddavin said. If we can keep it from getting a heal off, we should have it down to 50% in another half-minute. Everyone braced for phase three?

Seungnari said, Not even a little, I’m almost out of mana.

It’s chewed through SoUP, can I get a rebuff? Cheremno said. Shield of Ultimate Power was a high-level buff that acted as ablative armor – vital in keeping the raid members alive. Several others chimed in to note the same point.

And this was why the raid would wipe soon. They were still good on health, but all the mana bars were low. Furthermore, Theddavin, their main tank, had already used his daily heal-to-full to save one of the healers.

All right, ease back on the DPS, give Seungnari a chance to SoUP up as many as she can. Cheremno, can you increase your threat on the right head? Theddavin asked. The three heads of this particular boss acquired threat and targeted their attacks as independent entities. That meant the raid had to have a tank for each head to control aggro, even though a single tank could have handled the damage output from two or perhaps all three heads. Don’t want it peeling off on Seungnari when she buffs.

Cooldown’s almost up on SI. Supreme Insult was the best taunt in the game. There, Cheremno said, as his avatar smacked the dragon’s minotaur head on the nose and waggled the fingers of his left hand at it.

The Emperor tried to get two more heals off while they marked time and Seungnari SoUPed up three people. Kalisha Distracted the boss mob before it could finish either heal.

Then the Emperor’s human head morphed into an elven one.

[Raid] Theddavin: fml

The Emperor of Nightmares shouts, Join me in ETERNAL SLUMBER!

On Kalisha’s screen, six members of the raid – including Seungnari, their other two healers, and Cub – froze in place, twitching. The elven head’s Eternal Slumber curse wasn’t a spell and couldn’t be interrupted or dodged. It either affected one or it didn’t; there was nothing one could do about it.

CubSugarfly says, Don’t know how you expect us to get any sleep when you keep shouting like that.

Theddavin used his templar’s daily remove curse on Seungnari. The apothecary followed by casting remove curse on the other two healers. Then one of the stacked damage-over-time spells on the Emperor of Nightmares ticked the boss’s health bar down into yellow.

The Emperor of Nightmares shouts, Rise, my faithful companions, and show these foolish children the meaning of NIGHTMARE!

A frightening or unpleasant dream, Cheremno said on voice chat, as additional monstrous shapes emerged from every platform in the room.

Rather have the teeth-falling-out one, myself, Cub said.

On screen, Cheremno switched targets from the Emperor to a new-formed monster nearby, at the center of the area. Kalisha ballet’d the largest group of adds on the left side of the throne room.

At the same time, Theddavin said, Phase three. Cheremno has targeted an add – focus-fire on it if you’re not doing crowd control, folks. The cooldown on the group version of the ballet spell (Unstoppable Red Shoes: Troupe) was a minute, and a minute was much too long for this phase. The raid had another magician – Devae – who used the same spell on the right side, while some other casters used less-effective forms of crowd control. Kalisha took some shots at Cheremno’s target while waiting for her other crowd control spells to come off cooldown.

But there were too many adds for the raid to either control or burn down at this point. Seungnari drew aggro with a mass heal, and was half-eaten by the Emperor’s right head before Theddavin was able to taunt it off. Casters started dropping, and then the healers and tanks at about the same time.

The Emperor of Nightmares stood above their lifeless bodies, laughing, before returning to their throne. The adds melted away into the shadows, and the throne room reset, the players’ corpses swept out of it to deposit in a heap before the doors.

Grimacing, Kalisha sank back in her chair to wait for the healers to do a corpse run and start resurrecting them.

That’s our last try for the night, right? Devae gave an exhausted sigh over voice chat. Please say it’s our last try for the night.

It’s my last try for the night, whatever the rest of you are doing, Cheremno said. I’m beat and I have work in the morning.

Yeah, yeah, it’s our last try for the night, Theddavin said. Everyone still up for another try tomorrow night?

A mixed chorus of groans along with some reluctant agreement greeted this question.

You know we’re never gonna get it, right? Cheremno said. Even Phoenix Rising hasn’t gotten the Emperor of Nightmares below 25%. Phoenix Rising was the top guild on the European server, and had gotten first kill on the final bosses for the last two releases. Kalisha’s guild, Common Guard, was in the top ten on the North American server, but not in the same league as Phoenix Rising. Nobody knows what the fight’s phase four and final phase will be, much less what strat to use. The Emperor is another unbeatable special event boss. On the last day the NPCs will come kick their ass for us, same as they did in the Silver Dawn event and the Eternal Night event.

Hey, we got Emperor of Nightmares below 50%. No one even got the SD or EN bosses mobs down to 75%, Seungnari protested. I think it’s a winnable fight.

We all know the last 10% is harder than the first 90%. It’s not a winnable fight, Cheremno said. Emperor of Nightmares is gonna be gone in seventeen days, and Phoenix Rising isn’t gonna get the kill, and neither are we.

Kalisha agreed, but she held her tongue.

It’s not about the kill, Theddavin said.

Speak for yourself, Cub muttered.

It’s about the challenge. With each failure, we learn something new and we improve, Theddavin continued.

Do we, though? Cheremno said, deadpan.

Let the man speak, Devae said. We need to go over what we should change in the strat for tomorrow night based on how tonight went.

Amidst the groans, Kalisha took the opportunity to say, The first difference is that I will not be present to drag down the DPS rate.

Devae asked, Oh no, Kira, what? Why not?

"She’s on vacay, remember? Cubsugarfly told her. Posted on the forum. I’m out too."

Nooooo Kira, don’t leave me, Devae whimpered. I can’t magician this raid alone.

Kalisha laughed. Theddavin has acquired a replacement for me, fear not.

Mph, Devae said, unimpressed. Well, they’d better have an English accent, is all I can say.

She could hear Theddavin rolling his eyes as he said, I didn’t vet them for their accent. They’re Bolmilith, from Guild Guild.

A mixture of oh, they’re decent and they’re no Kira ran through the chat in response.

You will be fine, Kalisha told them all. I shan’t stay for the debrief; I am certain you will have defeated the Emperor of Nightmares before my vacation ends.

Doesn’t it end the same day that the event does? Seungnari asked.

No, I will return the day before. Good night and best wishes to you all.

A chorus of later and we’ll miss you answered her.

Have fun! Cheremno added at the end. Give big slobbery kisses to a bunch of strange girls in honor of those of us still waiting for the vaccine to kick in.

…I shall take that under advisement, Kalisha said, before disconnecting. She rose and stretched, glancing at her packed luggage. Since it was a two-week trip, she planned to bring a small messenger bag and check a suitcase. Her gaming laptop was technically portable, but it was a heavy monster. Plus, she was heading to New Hampshire for the fresh air and scenic vistas of RL, not so that she could play the same games she played in Kansas City. There was no reason to bring it. She was bringing a smartphone and a tablet: more than enough computing power for any purpose other than playing Guardians of the Twin Realms.

Which she’d just reminded her guild she wouldn’t be doing.

She removed her robe and lay down.

You do not need to pack your gaming machine, she told herself. You do not plan to do any gaming. It is heavy, and you’ll not check it because you would conjure eternal wrath upon the baggage crew if they harmed it. You do not want to lug it all the way to New Hampshire so that you can not log in to GotTR.

She closed her eyes.

***

The next morning, her housemate watched Kalisha lug her full-size suitcase, a messenger bag, and a rolling carry-on towards the front door. Rachel eyed the luggage. Thought you weren’t doing any gaming or work in New Hampshire?

I do not intend to, Kalisha told her. She steadied the rolling carry-on atop her wheeled suitcase, and opened the front door.

Then why are you bringing your laptop? Rachel called after her.

Just in case! Lyft’s almost here, see you later! she called over her shoulder as she left.

A Chance Encounter

May 20, 2021

As Grif finished the trail, he checked the time on his phone: 4:00PM. He was meeting his friends at their place at 5:00, so he had some time left. Rather than start a new trail, he strolled down to the beach.

Since it was a weekday afternoon and the morning had been chilly, Echo Lake State Park wasn’t crowded even though it was a lovely park. Grif liked visiting his family in May; he found New Hampshire gorgeous in late spring, but the tourist season wasn’t yet in full swing.

Some locals were out on the lake’s beach. An elderly couple held hands as they gazed out at the water. A thickset woman walked her two corgis on retractable leashes, in open and unchallenged defiance of the park rules against pets on the beach. A middle-aged man sat on a folding chair, reading a book.

Hi doggies, hi Mrs. Nguyen, Grif said, as he passed the dog-walker.

She smiled and waved in return, the wrinkles on her face changing from dour to cheerful with the expression. Good afternoon! It’s been so long. How are you?

Vaccinated! He grinned at her. Came home for a visit just as soon as the second shot took effect. How’ve you been?

Good, good.

They exchanged a few more pleasantries, before a cultured voice with an English accent exclaimed behind him, Oh, what beautiful corgis! Grif turned, startled. The voice belonged to a woman as gorgeous as her voice: large dark eyes, full lips, and a radiant medium-brown complexion. She knelt as Mrs. Nguyen approached, the corgis straining at the leash to sniff her. Would you mind if I petted your dogs, ma’am?

Go ahead, they love people! Mrs. Nguyen beamed. The dogs competed for the newcomer’s attention, licking at her fingers, hind ends wagging with excitement. The black and white one is Pepper, and the tan one is Cinnamon.

Aw, aren’t you the most darling creatures? The stranger bent her face towards Pepper, and the corgi licked her nose while she giggled. Black hair framed her face in a lopsided halo, side-parted on the left and curly enough that the right side rose a few inches above the scalp. It had a natural, carefree look to it.

By way of giving himself an excuse to linger, Grif stooped to stroke Cinnamon’s back.

Pepper tried to jump on the newcomer’s knee, and Mrs. Nguyen pulled on the leash and scolded her. I’m sorry, miss, she’s young and has no manners at all yet.

Oh, not to worry, ma’am, she’s adorable. The stranger stroked Pepper’s face. Grif reached out to put a firm hand against the other corgi’s hindquarters to deter her from jumping again, and stole more glances at the newcomer. She wore jeans, unevenly ripped at the knees and tattered at one hem, and a t-shirt. He tried to puzzle out the design on the shirt, then realized doing so made him look like he was checking out her chest. Grif decided to establish eye contact with Cinnamon as the safer option.

Are you visiting from England, dear? Mrs. Nguyen asked. We seldom get overseas tourists.

Oh no, ma’am, I’m afraid I only talk funny, the newcomer said, with a self-deprecating laugh. I’m an American.

Oh! You’re an immigrant?

No, I was born in America. But I lived in London when I was small and I never lost the accent. Accents are trickier to misplace than car keys, you see.

Grif smiled at the remark, and the stranger looked grateful for that because Mrs. Nguyen didn’t seem to register the joke. But you’re not a local, are you? I don’t recall seeing you around before?

She shook her head, dark curls bouncing. Not at all, ma’am. I live in Kansas City.

Really? Grif said, startled into speech. Me too! Missouri or Kansas?

Missouri, she said, with the air of ‘why would you live on the wrong side of the state line if you had a choice?’ common to residents of KCMO. After a moment’s pause, she asked, And you?

Kansas. Well, Mission, to be precise, but you know. Close enough.

She smiled, the expression making her eyes luminous. Of course. She fondled Cinnamon’s ear, then gave an abashed glance to Mrs. Nguyen. Rising, she dusted off her hands. I do apologize, ma’am, I’d no wish to detain you.

Mrs. Nguyen waved a hand in negation. Oh, you’re fine. You two kids have fun, she added over her shoulder, tugging her dogs after her.

Uh… Grif felt he should say something in response to Mrs. Nguyen’s decision to couple them up, but had no idea what. Thank you?

The stranger gave him an awkward little finger wave and another of her radiant smiles. Ah, well…

Grif searched his brain for some excuse to sustain the conversation absent the lure of cute dogs. His eyes fell on the stranger’s shirt – easy to see without a corgi in the way – and he blurted out, For the favor of the Cat Queen! She stared at him, blinking. Grif wilted, making a sheepish gesture to her t-shirt. Ugh, bet she borrowed it from her boyfriend and she doesn’t even play GotTR and I sound like a tool—

She looked down at her chest and burst into laughter. I had utterly forgotten I was wearing this shirt. The design was a fan-made cartoon of a group of GotTR adventurers. They watched with mixed expressions of horror and bemusement as a pack of kittens tore through their enemies. The caption read Uh, good kitty…?  For a moment I was unsure if you had psychic powers, or if you had used some Holmesian deduction-by-observation method. ‘Ah, yes, by the calluses on your index and pinky fingers, and the nervous twitching of your left eye, no doubt from many hours spent in intent contemplation of the situation HUD, I discern that you must be a Gotter addict’.

Grif laughed. I suppose ‘I noticed you’re wearing a Gotter tee’ is a form of deduction by observation, but I don’t think anyone will be impressed by my leet skillz in doing so.

She conceded this point with a nod. I infer you play as well, given your familiarity with the Cat Queen? She took a step towards the water, head turned to him.

Grif accepted the tacit invitation and fell into stride beside her. Sure, I love Guardians. And the part where the Cat Queen turns your whole party into cats is adorable. Er, though I guess you’re more of a dog person…?

I love all pets alike, so long as they belong to someone else, she said, deadpan. The Garden of Cats has always been one of my favorite zones. You must be a long-time player.

Yeah, you could say that. Grif had played very little in the last year and a half, in fact. He and his last girlfriend had kind of broken up because of GotTR – or at least because of problems he’d noticed because of GotTR – and it left him with mixed feelings about the game. He didn’t want to dump all that on a stranger, though. Lots of newer and shinier zones since the days of Original Flavor Gotter.

She smiled. Oh yes. Some days I miss Original Flavor. My guild has spent much of the last few weeks trying to take down the Emperor of Nightmares.

Grif tried to recall what that was. Some of his gamer friends on twitter had mentioned something about it – The boss mob for the current special event? I thought the special event boss mobs were unbeatable?

Her lips twitched as she pursed them to stifle a smile. Yes, you and everyone else except the most stubborn of my guildmates. But I admit, there’s a certain peculiar pleasure in beating one’s head against an immovable object. If only because it feels so good when one at last stops.

Hah! Did your guild give up, then? Oh crap, had the event ended already? He caught the question before asking it – he didn’t want to make her think he was