The Nothing Stories: When You’Re Bored or Occupying Yourself or Just Doing Nothing

By Arthur Richter

The Nothing Stories

The unique quality one will definitely find the story, the characterization, and the text disturbing. When continuing to read, one might find that the content associated with the characters might become less stressful the further one becomes involved in just reading nothing in the form of relaxation by not having to make something out of what you are reading.

You will discover its frustrating nature as well as mentally comforting aspects while becoming more engrossed in reading nothing. The gibberish just might overcome the frustrations of having to deal with more pressing matters, giving one just a moment to look upon something else in a different light.

I personally found it very inspirational when I havent a newspaper or, at times, when Im occupied with just my thoughts to contend with, or when I just dont want to deal with issues I have to stress over.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Aug 27, 2018
• ISBN: 9781984546623

Arthur Richter

Hello, I’m Arthur Richter, the author of The Carl Hildridge Journals. This the first of a trilogy that came to me when I was traveling the United States at sixteen, riding the rails down South. That’s right, I would listen to hobos telling their tall tales just to pass the time. I thought I would tell one of my own. Of course, leaving a lot more to tell for the others to follow. I hope you become as enthralled as I did when I wrote them. They do become pretty enthralling.

Book preview

Prologue

This is a story of how anything goes and how nothing said can’t be left unread, for there’s really nothing to lose by not reading what’s being said.

It’s nothing other than what wants to make out of it. That’s how I think of it, especially seeing how my opinion doesn’t matter much, if anything does at all anyway. And it only lasts until the next word that I write.

Think of it as a maze that something said leads into another maze, trying to confuse what’s already been said but what’s not being said.

Hint—these mazes range from the humorous to the philosophical, then possibly into a whole new different tangent, say, like a fantasy, then possibly into conjecture and even into the realm of one’s own imagination to really become distorted and totally ridiculous.

In a sense, it says a lot. But on the other hand, it says nothing at all that makes any sense—that is, unless someone wants to relate to any part of it.

It’s all right if you can make sense out of it. It did to me when I wrote it. That should give you a general idea about what this story is going to be like.

When I started this story, I thought it best to say nothing. You know I couldn’t. Then again, I said, Hey, if I’ve nothing to say, I can’t be alone. And this would be a rather short story.

(Hint)

Now don’t go saying I told you anything. I’ll deny it, but the truth of the matter is, the answer is obvious. I mean, how could I say nothing without saying something? Is such a thing possible?

So here I am with nothing but a story of absolutely nothing for when you’ve got nothing else better to do than to just waste your time doing nothing.

Hey, isn’t that great? Just to be able to do nothing for a change, like I’m doing right now. I’m writing things I couldn’t think of. But here I go again, thinking to myself, But that’s utterly ridiculous.

Now could I be writing something that I can’t say a word of or change and expect anyone to understand what I’m trying to say?

Well, in that case, I’ll only have to be dealing with a select few who can possibly find some humor in just reading nothing and maybe be able to derive something from it. Damn, there I go again with that hinting stuff again. (Hint.)

However, I want to state at this time that even though all that’s stated within is fictionalized and could very well be opinionated, I’ll only adhere to only all that is said, not written.

You must also take into consideration that no one’s mind has but a single thought. But what the hey, it’s nothing, right?

They say that ignorance is no excuse, but I’m using my ignorance right now. I say that because it’s going to become obvious that I’ve totally lost my mind or that I’m using others’ minds to find me wrong. But how could that be when they’re reading nothing at all? Now who’s the one losing their mind?

I’ll leave that open to speculation. Believe me when I say if you take the time to waste your time reading this, I can assure you I will value your opinion to be sure.

Just remember, there’s no going to the back of this story to find out who did it. All that you’ll find there is nothing.

Be warned, though—if you’ve something else better to do or you’ve a lot on your mind or you try to reason or make some sense out of what is written, you just might find yourself saying, Damn! Just what am I doing reading nothing?

I haven’t anything more to say. And isn’t nothing what it’s all about? Nothing.

Chapter 1

Susie, Mary, and Jill all ran up the hill backward, only to get not to the top but to the top of something.

My goodness, Susie, Mary said. That was strenuous, I must say. Let’s do it again, but forward this time to get to the bottom of what we just got to the top of.

You two go, Jill replied back. I’m tired of going nowhere. Who cares if it’s the top or the bottom? The distance is still the same—only in another direction.

Chapter 2

Paul walked along the beach, pondering how he was going to tell his wife, Janet, that he wanted a divorce so that he could marry Janet’s sister, Carol. But he didn’t love Carol but Janet. But Carol was by far more beautiful than Janet. Janet had all the qualities Paul desired in a woman, but Carol made him feel ten feet tall, and Janet always put him down.

Dammit! This is getting confusing as hell! Paul said to himself as he walked on until he came upon a woman sitting on a blanket. He stopped just to admire her just sitting there.

Excuse me, miss, Paul said to her as she stared up at him from behind her sunglasses.

She spoke out, Yes, what is it?

I was wondering if you could help me. I’ve this sort of dilemma, you understand.

Well, I don’t normally talk to strange men, but if I can help, I would be most happy to. This isn’t some sort of a come-on, is it?

Why, no, I’m serious.

That’s nice, but not very flattering, I must say. I mean, I go through all this time and expense of buying this very sexy bikini to come out here and to be baked by the sun. And the only man that approaches me wants me to solve his own personal problems. Why, I have never been so insulted in all my life! She shouted at him then serenely said, Please do sit down and tell me all about your problems.

Sorry, lady, Paul answered her back. But I can’t handle any more problems at the moment. It’s been nice talking to you.

Paul walked away and proceeded down the beach, only to come upon another woman, standing and wadding her feet in the water. She wore a skin-diving suit and held a harpoon gun in her hand. He foolishly stopped again and spoke out to her.

Excuse me, miss. Paul approached her, saying, I was wondering if you might be able to help me with a problem I’m having.

Sorry, mister. I’m all booked for the month. Call me, and we’ll set something up.

I’m sorry to have bothered you, Paul skeptically replied back as he walked away.

Oh, come on back here! she obligingly shouted out. She got him to stop and look back at her as she stood impatiently, looking at her watch on her wrist. I guess I can work you in.

Paul stood motionless as she came walking toward him, unzipping the front of her rubber suit. She came closer and closer, and he heard her say, It’s going to cost you fifty bucks.

Paul was so dumbfounded. He didn’t know what to do, but he couldn’t take his eyes off her as she exposed herself before him—and in broad daylight on an open beach, no less—only to discover that her chest was covered with hair.

Oh, Jesus! Paul nervously replied. You’re a man?

Only half, love, she replied back. It’s the other half that will resolve your problem. I guarantee it.

Thanks, but no thanks, Paul very nervously said back as he turned to walk hurriedly away. He walked up the beach to go to his car, saying to himself, And I thought that I had a problem. He slid into his car behind the wheel and drove off. Once again, he said to himself, Some guys don’t know when they have it good.

Oh, I know you were expecting some sort of punch line. Well, I’m sure you’ll come up with something to make it come out the way you’ll like it to. Seeing how I already did all the thinking for you for you to finish it, you can make something out of it as something you might have done.

Now hold on. It’s going to get better. You can’t stop now. You’re going to be missing the real good-for-nothing parts.

Chapter 3

All right, Polly, now slow down and tell me what happened again. But slowly his time, Polly’s mother said as they sat on her bed together.

It was horrible … just horrible, Mother! Polly sobbingly said. "He said that he loved me, Mother. Then after it happened, I couldn’t stop. It’s as if I became possessed. I had to have more and more… I couldn’t help myself … It was as if I became addicted I became so engraved with the need for more and more. I became obsessed with the insatiable need for more. I couldn’t stop at just one. I needed it to last longer.

It only invoked and frustrated me more and more, so I took it again and again … It was all Phillip’s fault! I swear! He kept giving and giving until it hurt, and I couldn’t take anymore. If he would have just left me well enough alone, none of it would have ever happened. Now even you think of me as a pig.

"No, I don’t, honey. But I couldn’t help but notice the change in you. All right, so you’ve established an insatiable fetish, but you can’t go on like this. You’re young, and you’ve got your whole life ahead of you. No matter what you’ve gone and done to yourself, I still love you.

I admit I’m not to talk. In a way, I, too, was addicted as you were. But you can’t let your frustrations ruin your whole life. Moderation is the only way to go. You’re just going to have to slow down and take it slowly. That way, you’ll even appreciate it a lot more if you make it last a lot longer. You can’t just blame it all on Phillip, even though he was the one who got you started. Your system just wasn’t used to it yet, and you didn’t know what effects it was going to have on you.

But, Ma, it’s not fair to deprive me, especially when I’ve become so obsessed with the want for it now. It’s all I can think about. Ma, I see you doing it all the time. I know you always try to be discreet, but I catch you all the time, and it’s not infringing on Phillip or our relationship. In fact, he’s encouraging me on to continue doing it. I felt guilty at first. Now all I want is to shove it in.

Donna, have you ever thought about asking yourself why he did this? I mean, what respect could he have for you to allow you to go to such extremes? I told you when you first started dating him that he was no good for you, but you wouldn’t listen to me, and see what he has done to you. Honey, even your father is beginning to notice the change in you. He’s also been hearing things that people are saying about you. I can’t any longer condone or accept your conduct. This has to stop, and you’re going to have to pull yourself together and stop your outrageous conduct. I’m not going to allow people to go around saying sarcastic and derogatory things about you. As for Phillip, you let me handle him. He’s not about to go getting away with what he has done to you.

But, Ma, can’t I have just one more last fling? There’s one more I’m dying to try. Phillip even said that he’s never seen anything like it—that it was huge! And creamy. All the girls said they tried it, and they said they never had anything like it before in their entire lives. Oh, please, Ma. Just this one last time?

Well, I don’t know, honey.

Oh, Ma, please, Polly pleaded with her mother. Ma, I’ll even be willing to share it with you. Dad will never know. Please, Ma?

Well, all right. But this is the last time, and don’t you ever breathe a word about this to you father. I mean it.

Yes, Mother. I promise. Not a word. Polly rose up from the bed to stand before her mother.

Mother, I still can’t see why you’re placing such a cruel, heartless restriction on me. I’m not all that fat. I’m just sagging in spots, that’s all. I only weigh a hundred and ninety pounds, and I’m big-boned like you’re ma.

True, honey, but you’re only fifteen and five feet two inches tall. You keep on eating all those pies and cakes that Phillip’s father makes, and in another few months, you’ll be as big as me.

So what’s the matter with you?

Two hundred seventy pounds is what is the matter with me, and I’m even shorter than you.

(How’s that one? Getting better, is it?)

Chapter 4

Ha, I gasped out, sighing out a breath of relief and leaning against the inside of my door, tired as hell from dancing on my feet all night and tending to the bar. All I could think about was getting into a hot tub and just soaking for hours.

It sure felt good to come home to an empty house and not having to put up with my ex-husband, Tom, anymore.

I kicked off my shoes and unbuttoned my blouse as I walked into my bedroom. I headed toward the bathroom, tossing my blouse on the bed before heading into the bathroom and turning the hot water on.

I unsnapped my bra, tossing it into the sink. I gasped out a sigh of relief, feeling the freedom come over me.

I slid out of my skirt and undergarments, stepping into the tub of steaming hot water. Then I slowly submerged myself down into it, reclining back against the tub and basking in the smoothing and absorbing heat, relaxing my entire body.

Now this is the life, I sanctimoniously swooned out. I had nothing to do but to just lie back and bask in the luxury of the relaxing calmness, taking life easy.

I used my toes to shut off the water while slumberously lying back, closing my eyes to drift off into the bliss of nothingness, only to startlingly reopen them and finding myself floating on a raft out in the middle of nowhere in a lake with nothing in sight but high cliffs all around me.

I spotted what appeared to be a long cabin sitting offshore with woods surrounding it for as far as I could see. It had smoke coming out of the chimney.

My first reaction when I saw what I was wearing (I found myself wearing a long full-body cotton bodysuit, like I was wearing a pair of men’s long johns) was thinking that this was nothing more than a dream and that I must have still been asleep in the tub. I figured, why worry about it if I was bound to wake up eventually, so I dove into the water and swam for shore and inquisitively crept up to the cabin to peer into one of the windows.

I found it totally empty, but with a fire going. Something was cooking in a big kettle above the fire in the fireplace.

Whatever it was, it sure smelled good, so I decided to go inside and have myself something to eat. Seeing how this was my dream, I could do whatever I wanted to do in it.

I always dreamed about having a place like this and living out in the wilderness, living the life of a county person.

I walked inside and up to the fireplace to look down into the pot, inhaling the aroma of something delicious being cooked inside it but disbelievingly seeing it empty.

What in the blazes? Dumbfounded, I discovered that the fire itself was cold, but the pot was hot.

This has to be the weirdest dream I ever had, I spoke out to myself, picking up the long-handled ladle. I submerged it down into the pot to feel it become heavy as I pulled it up out of the pot. Again, I shockingly discovered that it was also empty.

Now this dream is becoming very irritating, I annoyingly spoke out, only to become shocked again by the ladle suddenly becoming light in my hand as it literally sprung. It vibrated in my hand as if something just jumped out of it.

Inquisitively, I looked about my feet then back into the spoon cup of the ladle. I knew that I just felt something springing out of it.

All right! I bewilderingly spoke out. This is my dream. I had enough of this nonsense. Now show yourself, whoever or whatever you are! I commanded, to no avail.

All right for you. Have it your way! I irritatingly shouted out. If you don’t come out, I’ll just wake up, and your fun and games will be over. How’s that for your shenanigans? I mean it. I just about had enough of this playing games with me. Nonsense!

You can’t wake up, I heard a girlish voice saying.

It caused me to startlingly look about to see nothing. I became more annoyed by the antic of being made a fool out of.

I’m going to count to five. Show yourself, or I promise you I will wake myself up! I angrily yelled out. I counted backward from the number five. I waited only a few seconds before counting down to number four.

Once again, I startlingly came to an alarming stop, graspingly speaking out from disbelief. Oh, my stars! I saw a boy of about twelve materializing before my eyes while feeling a whisking breeze across my face. It was as if a gusting stream of air streaked beside the side of my face, coming from out of the pot.

One by one, more and more children came appearing about me. They were all appearing not more than three feet tall, all wearing green suits that looked like cowhide.

Well, I’ll be, I graspingly expelled out, holding my hands up before my mouth, not believing what my transfixed eyes were seeing.

I stared upon them with utter amazement, noticing that some of the females were as fully developed physically as I was.

Oh, brother. I really have to be out of it, I spoke out, ogling them as they stood before me, laughing childishly and pointing at me.

Stop it! I yelled out at them. Or I’ll stop my dream right here and now!

They stopped, and I composed myself by becoming relaxed in their presence. They seated me at the table, then they proceeded to go about the cabin, doing chores as if I belonged there. They were not saying a word to me but rather among themselves.

As they all came gathering up, standing around the table, this very young-looking girl stepped out from among them and spoke out. We’ve decided that you can remain here for as long as you want.

Why, thank you, little girl, but I really can’t stay too long. I must be getting back to the realities of my real life.

You’re Connie, right? She pointed to me, asking, as if she was certain of who I was. You fell asleep in your bathtub. This is no dream. You’re dead. You drowned. This is now your reality. You stay here with us. We’ll let you come live in the pot with us.

What! I shockingly blurted out. Come on, this is only a dream. You can’t be serious.

Was a dream. You’re dead now. This is your world now. You come with us now. This not a safe place to be alone in.

I got up from the table and followed her to the pot, mainly out of being inquisitive and seriously not believing a word she was saying.

I was being followed by the others as they grouped up behind me. I stood beside the young girl before the fireplace.

You look down inside the pot now. You see yourself that you left behind, she said as she pointed down into the pot.

Skeptically, I looked down into the pot to shockingly see myself lying under the water, with my face submerged under it. I was sleeping, as if I didn’t have a care in the world.

Oh my god! No! I gasped out in disbelief. No. I can’t be dead. I just can’t be! I mournfully wept, struggling to hold back my tears of anguish. I horrifyingly questioned what I was seeing. I’m only dreaming this! I’m telling you, that’s not me. I’ll show you that I should be waking up any second now. Then you’ll see that I’m not her. I frantically pleaded with her to wait to prove her wrong. Come on, Connie, wake up! I cried out, shouting down into the pot at myself. Wake up, damn you! Wake up! I became frantically louder, shouting out at myself just lying there.

That will do you no good. You’re only hearing yourself shouting at yourself, she sadly spoke out to me. You come be our mother now and stay with us. You be nice to us. We won’t send you away.

Away? I asked the little girl. Away to where? I bewilderingly asked, not knowing what she meant as far as away and where it was.

As long as you remain here with us, you’ll continue to live. You leave your return to your dimension and become no more in either place.

I don’t understand, I nervously replied.

I’ll tell you as best as I can, she replied back. I was uncomfortably looking around at all the others, standing grouped up to also hear what she had to say.

"We’re all born, where we’ll all dream. Then we stop just like you did. What one never realizes is when one dreams, it’s only the same dream over again that all come from. All the others came from but