Dirklus

By Ahsumma Beach

A young wizard, whose magic was sabotaged at birth, reaps havoc with his unpredictable spells in order to save the woman of his dreams. Only, unbeknownst to him, the object of his affections has been the object of everybody else's affections for a modest price at one time or another.

"... fantasy-genre readers with a penchant for sly stuff that never takes itself too seriously--and remains coyly naughty around the margins--won't mind a return to Beach's shores."

-- Kirkus Reviews

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Dec 24, 2008
• ISBN: 9781440111884

Ahsumma Beach

Moondance 2010 short story category winner.

Book preview

Copyright © 2008 Ahsumma Beach. All rights reserved.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, names, incidents, organizations, and dialogue in this novel are either the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

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ISBN: 978-1-4401-1187-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4401-1188-4 (e)

Printed in the United States of America

iUniverse rev. date: 11/23/2009

Contents

Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Prologue

King Archon had a notorious reputation for ordering maids to his chambers against their will to satisfy his carnal appetite. His victims were physically marred for weeks, and emotionally scarred for life from the magnitude of his brutality. The tyrant’s conduct continued unabated for years, conquering foreign lands and unwilling virgins alike until a royal librarian awoke beneath the King’s hairy armpit and reacted adversely to her new surroundings. Wild rumors circulated about the events that transpired that night when the royal physican was beheaded, the King was observed as being incapable of standing erect, a new edict was put forth, mandating the annihilation of all persons in the kingdom with the talent to wield magic, and an exorbidant reward was posted for the librarian’s capture.

Archonia was in its darkest hour. The edict scattered mystic casters toward the four corners of Archonia and beyond, but whatever refuge was found often bordered Archonian colonies, whose spheres of influence were forceful. Most casters were caught and slayed. A few negotiated servitude to King Archon in exchange for their lives, but the edict ensured they too were betrayed in the end. A decade passed and the librarian was finally found with a son she claimed to be the King’s heir. The claim did not spare her and her son was conscripted and sent to battle to die, but even the fiercest of engagements and the worst of odds could not claim his life.

Tinacia, the last traitor employed by the Archonians, knew that her time was up. The edict had run its course and her royal appointment was set to abruptly terminate like the others before her. Tinacia, however, had prepared for this time and had completed a stronghold in the eastern fringes of the mainland, waiting for the day she would no longer be required. In the meantime, an informant had recently provided the location of two elusive casters and she prepared herself for what would quite possibly be her last task within Archon City’s walls. Well aware that she would require aid from outside forces, Tinacia was desperate to forge an alliance with her colleague, the King’s illegitimate son, whose mother was responsible for the death and decay that had befallen all casters. Tinacia was uncertain of the young officer’s motives for serving the teetering tyrant, but without him, she wasn’t confident of her plans. What was certain was that the two resourceful casters held the last ray of hope that could transform the fates of all.

Chapter One

King Archon expresses his condolences for your inconvenience, Captain Grave announced to a gathering of commoners recently roused from their homes hours before the light of dawn. The crowd was unruly to say the least, having been dragged outside by footmen into strong gusts and heavy rain in the ward’s square, but the entire ordeal seemed routine for the captain. He was a young officer no older than twenty, whose gentle voice and neat appearance hinted that his rank might have been appointed rather than earned, but the medals of honor, valor, and courage that littered the breast pockets of his uniform proved otherwise. Captain Grave’s only concern was making sure his horse didn’t catch cold as the cobblestone road deflected the intermittent rainstorm upward, rendering any attempt to stay dry futile. He placed a hand over his brow to shield the rain in order to get a better look at two hooded women with infants, who seemed out of place in the neighborhood.

Wake the King and give him our best, Captain Pretty Boy, a miscreant adolescent boomed, prompting a smack across the face by his mother.

Captain Grave trotted over. The King’s army is always looking for brave conscripts, the captain said to the youngster, and I can personally ensure that you will see action on the front.

The boy turned to his mother and buried his head in her bosom.

Show him your clubfoot! the boy’s mother kicked his lame foot forward.

It’s none of his business! the boy cried.

The neighbors were content to watch the troublemaker suffer.

Sergeant Masters gauged the driving rain to see how high it bounced off the road, and held the door for his mother, Eldora. She hesitated as she watched other neighbors get drenched as soon as sentries escorted them from their homes.

It’s pouring rain, she griped, wrapping her robe about her.

The sooner we begin, the sooner it ends, Mother. Sergeant Masters escorted her out of the house. He was an old brute, thirty years past his prime with shoulders nearly as broad as a doorway. Despite his long, wiry, gray hair, and a forehead tattered with the scars from the impact of weapons which should have buried him long ago, he was still a mother’s boy at heart.

They might show enough respect to exclude you from rousing your own neighborhood. She swiped the Sergeant’s helmet and donned it to keep her nightcap dry.

Suspects present and accounted for, sir, the sentries announced after dragging the last family into the street. As soon as the latecomers were thoroughly soaked the rain mysteriously subsided.

Captain Grave circled the crowd on horseback, making eye contact with every man, woman, child, and wailing infant. You were gathered to aid the King in rooting out the casters among you, he announced.

Families exchanged evil eyes with neighbors they didn’t particularly like. Challenging glares escalated to secretive whispers, mumbling, chatter, banter, and soon to insinuations, finger-pointing, and arguments over petty, unsettled disputes that had nothing whatever to do with magic. Neighbors sorted themselves into factions, dragging kids and decrepit elders to one side of the street or the other. After a fair amount of shoulder-brushing, elbow-nudging, pushing, and shoving, the feuding factions sorted out their sides, leaving the two hooded mothers standing by themselves in the middle of the street. Their infant children screamed, drawing more attention to themselves and their mothers.

Captain Grave guided his horse over to the women. Were your children harmed?

No. Sunlit, the plumper of the two women, tried to soothe her child. Its adorable, copper-toned face was wrapped snuggly in pink blankets. The baby didn’t have a single tear in its eyes, and screamed only when it heard the other infant wail, almost as if to mock it.

We are well, Adayla said. She was tall, slender, and much paler than Sunlit. Her child was a fair, rosy-cheeked loudmouth with curly golden hair, bound in a blue blanket. Adayla listened to her child scream in rebuttal to the other infant as if it felt entitled to the last word. She covered the child’s mouth and avoided meeting Captain Grave’s curious gaze.

Commoners on both sides of the street were giving Sunlit and Adayla odd looks, trying to figure out who they were.

If those hags were from these parts, them spoiled loudmouth midgets’d be knocked out by either a stiff cider or a backhand, Eldora said. Just look at their boots! She pointed at the women’s footwear.

The crowd was in agreement that the women were strangers in their midst, and that Eldora had a valid point—that their silk robes, fancy boots, and jewelry were a might highbrow for the neighborhood.

Captain Grave observed his men, who were overtly suspicious of the women and rightly so. He glanced at Sergeant Masters, who had a somber look on his face. Captain Grave pursed his lips, reached into his saddlebag, and raised a coin sack. He tossed it to the sergeant so the coins could be heard to jingle.

The Secure Borders Act compensates handsomely for information which aids in the location and capture of casters. Magic, as we all are aware, is a threat to the kingdom and must be weeded out. Now, who among you is eager to put an extra loaf of bread on the supper table?

Them witches don’t live here, said the clubfooted boy, pointing at the hooded strangers. He caught a gold coin thrown his way and bit into it. My tooth! I lost my tooth! he said as it fell out.

Those caster babies cry louder than demons! the clubfooted boy’s mother proclaimed. A coin was flicked at her, but her son caught it. She slapped him and took both coins.

They haven’t eaten, Sunlit pleaded.

My child is unsettled by the weather. Forgive me, Adayla pleaded with the mob.

The accusations and finger pointing increased. It wasn’t long before everyone was gossiping loudly about the two women and their children, but as soon as Sergeant Masters paid out the last coin, the hearsay simmered down and the ward fell silent.

Can we go now? the clubfooted boy asked. His father’s swift backhand stung the boy’s lips in reply.

Captain Grave addressed the community, Am I to understand that it is a consensus that these women are not from your ward?

It’s getting late, Captain Grave, Eldora said. You’ve found your casters. Get on with it.

Captain Grave studied Sunlit and Adayla. He knew they were casters; he could feel their auras. His eyes softened when they fell upon the infants, whose auras were being shielded at great expense. He could see the women straining, which only meant their children were powerful.

Adayla saw sympathy in his eyes for the children and gripped her child even tigher.

Captain Grave nodded at her and addressed the crowd in order to buy the mysterious women extra time. You all are aware of the fate that awaits those who stand accused. I will ask once again.

A sinister cackle echoed from every shadow and dark alley in the ward.

Captain Grave knew his bluff had been called. Tinacia, why are you wasting my time? he muttered. He drew his sword and pointed the blade at the casters. You have been declared casters. Remove your hoods.

Watch your back, Captain, a traitor’s fate is nearly always a painful death, Adayla warned.

I wish I could see downfall of this ill-begotten kingdom, Sunlit said defiantly.

Suddenly the women and their children evaporated into the night, and were swept away by a gust of wind.

The commoners in the ward gasped at the mystic feat.

Tinacia materialized and splashed in the puddle where Sunlit and Adayla had once stood, startling the crowd which backed away, as did the sentries.

Tinacia! Captain Grave settled down his horse. The animal was fearless, but made an exception to the rule with Tinacia’s surprise appearances. You are more trouble than you are worth.

I only do it for attention. Tinacia gave Captain Grave an approving once-over from head to toe. She was middle-aged with a grossly deformed nose; scorch marks on her cheeks emitted an amber glow, and she couldn’t speak without wincing.

Why do you insist on wasting my time? Captain Grave asked.

I fancy you, Captain Grave, or haven’t you noticed? Tinacia scratched his horse’s neck.

Captain Grave glanced at Sergeant Masters, who was coughing loudly to avoid laughing, and continued his formal report to Tiancia. Casters have been found in this ward.

You don’t say? This roundup of yours was painfully sluggish, Captain Grave. I’m curious as to why. Tinacia caressed the captain’s leg.

Captain Grave reined his steed and sidestepped away from Tinacia. Your duty does not include mockery.

Sire my children and the ridicule shall cease. Tinacia puckered her lips, blew him a kiss, and vanished into thin air.

The commoners gasped at her audacity.

Captain Grave glared at the onlookers as they fabricated rumors, which spread among them like wild fire. You are dismissed!

The commoners ceased their banter and scurried back to their homes. For some, the theatrics had been well worth the trouble for the dirt they now had on Captain Grave.

Sergeant Masters tried to escort his mother back home, but she wanted nothing to do with him. Dejected, he returned to Captain Grave’s side. Just get it over with. Give her a child, and we won’t have to endure her lunacy night after night.

She wants more than a child, Uncle.

Sergeant Masters slapped his nephew’s backside. Women always demand an encore after a great show.

Tinacia’s face materialized behind Captain Grave’s left ear. I have yet to see the show.

He tilted his head, preventing her from nibbling his earlobe. Perform your task and be gone!

Tinacia imposed her face over the captain’s, seized possession of his voice, and turned to Sergeant Masters, who looked like he’d seen the gamit of her charades. The day will come when your nephew will be forced to choose sides. It would be best for your health and his that he chooses wisely.

Captain Grave wiped the essence of her greasy spell off his face and spat, but before he could muster a rebuttal, he heard a ruckus coming from an adjacent alley.

A couple of drunken pirates picked themselves off the cobblestone street, cursing whatever had just bowled them over but left their unspilled tankards of ale safely in hand, and carried on.

Leopold! Eldora called from her home’s doorway.

Coming, Mother, Sergeant Masters said. He threw Captain Grave a lazy salute and departed. Our shift is over. It’s all up to the bitch, now.

You, young man, need to set a better example for that boy! Eldora slammed the frontdoor in the Sergeant’s face.

I’ll take your spare room, Sergeant Masters muttered to Grave, who nodded, but seemed to be preoccupied by the pirates, whose sea legs did an astonishing job keeping the sailors from face-planting in a puddle.

The care those women took in safeguarding their children were their ultimate downfall, said Grave. "I lost count of how many spells and auras were interwoven around those infants. They could have easily gone undetected had they refrained from such stupidity.

Speaking of which, you should do a better job guarding your tongue. This ward has peculiar ears.

Sergeant Masters glared at Captain Grave before calling his own horse. As soon as the steed arrived at his side, the rain returned.

Peg Leg Row was just around the corner from Eldora’s home and catered to honorable and dispicable pirates alike as well as landlubber riffraff, trying to leech off the plunder from the high seas. The majority of the seedy establishments on the shady row were tavern inns with a few trading posts and tattoo parlors spackled in between. Commoners avoided the area after dark altogether due to the abundance of cutthroats, but it wasn’t a popular destination during the day either, when disputes were often settled in the open streets with swords and little regard for collateral damage.

The entrance to Anita Smuggler Tavern, the most popular establishment on the row, burst open. Maulvin, a big brute in a tight-fitting shirt, balanced a small keg on one shoulder with one arm and swung a ratty gentleman by his loincloth to and fro with his free hand. He tossed the vagrant into the street, wincing slightly when the man landed cheek-first on an uneven cobblestone in the road. A wet gust of wind brought back the driving rain, which made the road even less hospitable for the drunk.

It’s like the rain knew you was coming, Ratsai. Be safe on your way home, Maulvin said in an unnaturally soft voice. He shifted the keg to the other shoulder and returned to his duties within the tavern.

I will. Ratsai tested the health of his jaw by moving his chops back and forward a few times. He opened his eyes and saw two pair of blurry boots in front of him. Ratsai squinted until Sunlit and Adayla came into focus. They stood over him, their jewelry standing out like a lighthouse on a dark and stormy night. The women had to be mad, standing there in the middle of Peg Leg Row after dark. Schemes raced through Ratsai’s foggy mind about how he was going to rob them, but he had to get to his feet first and that chore alone was almost too much to bare.

Sunlit knelt down to Ratsai’s eye level. My name is Sunlit. My partner, Adayla, and I seek audience with the Pirates Guild. Are you a member? The baby girl in her arms gave Ratsai a disproving look.

Adayla covered her son’s mouth to keep him from screaming. Dirklus is resisting my calming aura. She directed this comment to Sunlit and then adjusted the blue blanket over his head.

Do what you can. As long as he’s quiet, Annah won’t make a sound. Keep them close.

Adayla squatted beside Sunlit so the children could be closer. Have you any knowledge of the veiled peninsula, sir?

Ratsai picked himself off the ground, glanced at his loose loin cloth, and covered up with his hands. Veiled peninsula? Never heard of it. Spare a pair of trousers?

Adayla flicked her pinky finger at his loin cloth and a sizeable coin purse appeared in his hands.

Startled, Ratsai fumbled the purse, but dove to the ground to save it from spilling onto the street. He stood up and backed away. I know what you are. I ain’t too keen on what is and what ain’t against the law, but I’ll swing from a noose—no questions asked, if I was to consort with the likes of you.

The fat purse disappeared into thin air, leaving a golden shimmer in its wake.

We don’t have the leisure of time. Sunlit tried to be firm without intimidating the man, but she sensed trouble approaching. Adayla, your spell has been detected.

I displaced the spell’s essence in several places, which should keep her occupied for a short time longer, Adayla assured Sunlit. No sooner had the words left her mouth than a scream was heard in the distance and a plume of fiery smoke appeared.

Sunlit took a deep breath, exhaled, and pleaded with Ratsai. Please.

Ratsai looked over his shoulder and everywhere else for possible witnesses. How much gold just came and went?

Enough for a thousand pair of silk trousers, Sunlit said.

I would appreciate that gold, ma’am. Ratsai tilted his head pointedly toward the entrance of Anita Smuggler Tavern. The weighted purse reappeared in his hand and jingled when he clutched his fingers around it.

Those coins have ears. Breathe a word to anyone of our encounter, and they will find their way back to us quicker than they can be spent.

Adayla stepped toward the tavern door with Sunlit close behind.

Ratsai slit his eyes to examine a gold coin and observed large ears embossed on both sides. Shoving his profits into his loincloth, he dashed into the shadowy night, jingling like a bell and clutching his crotch to quiet the sack. He ducked into a dark alley, stopping short as Tinacia appeared before him, hovering above the ground with her cloak blowing in the wind. Ratsai gasped at her glowing cheeks and heard coins draining out of his loincloth onto the cobblestone street. His first instinct was to collect his gold, but he was frozen by the possibility that fire was going to jet out of her cheeks and set him ablaze.

I’m looking for two of my friends, Tinacia said casually. Perhaps you have seen them bargain-hunting for gifts for my precious niece and nephew? Gold coins cascaded from her hands onto the cobblestones and began to pile up around Ratsai’s ankles.

Anita Smuggler Tavern, last I saw, Ratsai said, without taking his eyes off the gold. He was concerned about the loud ringing sound the coins were making against the road and the sorted lot who were probably on their way to investigate the noise.

Tinacia vanished, leaving Ratsai alone to collect her charity. Without a thought he stripped naked, stuffed as much gold as he could into his loin cloth, slung it over a shoulder and ran off, leaving the rest for scavengers.

Anita Smuggler Tavern was a very busy establishment, catering to the needs of scores of very successful pirates and their hired hands with a wide variety of activities and attractions to keep them occupied. Cheats sat elbow to elbow at small tables, arguing over the ambiguous rules of their card games. Those fresh off the boat took their time selecting suitable wenches, inspecting their goods as they would produce at a fruit stand. Captains and first officers negotiated with clients in private booths, drafting and editing contracts, and forging documents where necessary to finalize shady deals. The majority of the crowd, however, drank heavily, sang songs, and filled their lovers’ ears with false promises.

When Sunlit and Adayla stepped into the tavern the establishment fell silent. The mysterious women and their infants had the clientele’s undivided attention, with the exception of the playful banter heard behind closed doors upstairs.

We seek passage to the veiled peninsula, Sunlit said, expecting