My Soul Feels Lean: Poems of Loss and Restoration

By Joyce Rupp

Long beloved for her artful prayers, best-selling author Joyce Rupp presents an entirely new collection of 106 meditative poems on a theme she has woven masterfully through all her writing--the pain of loss and the hope of restoration.

My Soul Feels Lean is a journey into compassion. Drawing on insights from her Christian faith and a lifelong connection to the Iowa farmland of her birth, Joyce Rupp explores themes of loss and restoration in this luminous collection of poems. Returning to an undercurrent in her work since the publication of Praying Our Goodbyes, Rupp offers here sensitive insights on the pain of loss and the hope she finds when she is willing to let go and trust. Rupp's leanness of soul has taught her to observe and celebrate the harsh beauty of life. "Loss has encouraged me to find joy and meaning here instead of pining for it elsewhere," she writes, "to live more simply and be content with less, to appreciate more fully what I now have."

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ave Maria Press
• Release date: Jun 18, 2013
• ISBN: 9781933495576

Joyce Rupp

Joyce Rupp is well known for her work as a writer, retreat leader, and spiritual midwife. She serves as a consultant for the Boundless Compassion program. Rupp is the author of numerous bestselling books, including Praying Our Goodbyes, Open the Door, Return to the Root, Jesus, Friend of My Soul, and Jesus, Companion in My Suffering. Her award-winning books include Boundless Compassion, Fly While You Still Have Wings, and Anchors for the Soul. She is a member of the Servite (Servants of Mary) community.

Book preview

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Full of lived experience, Joyce Rupp shows how loss is the teacher and acceptance the friend that opens the door to ‘peace with questions that have no answers.’

Gunilla Norris

Author of Simple Ways

"In My Soul Feels Lean, Joyce Rupp offers us a key to the soul’s deep places of loss and restoration. Open the door to her poetry and come on in; there will be rugged lands and flowering meadows—luring you into prayer and reflection."

Macrina Wiederkehr, O.S.B.

Author of Seven Sacred Pauses

In the language of the soul, Joyce Rupp writes about the many faces of pain and grief in our lives. An honest, personal, and uncompromising look at the reality of loss and despair, which affects us all. Rupp takes us deeper into the journey with a powerful invitation to surrender to those moments of grace and healing that are available to us all in our darkest times. Authentic and deeply moving.

Edwina Gateley

Poet, Author, Speaker

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© 2013 by Joyce Rupp

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever, except in the case of reprints in the context of reviews, without written permission from Sorin Books®, P.O. Box 428, Notre Dame, IN 46556-0428.

www.sorinbooks.com

Paperback: ISBN-10 1-933495-56-1, ISBN-13 978-1-933495-56-9

E-book: ISBN-10 1-933495-57-X, ISBN-13 978-1-933495-57-6

Cover image © Thinkstock.com

Cover and text design by Brian C. Conley.

Printed and bound in the United States of America.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Rupp, Joyce.

My soul feels lean : poems of loss and restoration / Joyce Rupp.

pages cm

ISBN 978-1-933495-56-9 (pbk.) -- ISBN 1-933495-56-1 (pbk.)

1. Christian poetry, American. I. Title.

PS3568.U65M9 2013

811’.54--dc23

2012039796

Recyclable%20logo.eps

To all those who have touched my life

with their kindness

and restored my hope

And when the day for my final voyage arrives,

and the ship, never to return, is set to leave,

you will find me on board, light on supplies,

and almost naked, like the children of the sea.

—Antonio Machado

Contents

Acknowledgments

My Soul

Loss

My Soul Feels Lean

Is Anything Left?

You Wonder

Goodbye to Summer

I Lose Myself, Find My Self

Go toward That Which Repels

Inner Freedom

Leave Them Behind

Katy and Theresa

Refusal

Kenyan Thirst

Coveted Growth

Helpless

Love So Easily Gets Lost

The Terrorist

The Death of Friendship

Rhonda

She Feels Old at Twenty-Eight

Airport

The Screaming

Greedy for Too Many Things

Saying All the Wrong Things

Mistaken Perceptions

The Strongest Friendship

Wealthy Woman

Palm Sunday

The Lone Evening Star

Blue Jay Heart

The Old Cottonwood

These Gray Winter Days

Azalea Leaves

Pinnacles of Winter

April Goldfinches

One Lone Goose

Ninety Years

Death Invades My Days

Crushing Coincidences

My Fear of Losing You

Margaret

He’s Burying His Mother Today

On the Death of Sister Flavia

Evangelista

Grandfather

Christina

Aileen

After the Funeral

Grief Has Come to My House

Anger

You Keep Your Sorrow

Uncontrolled Grief

Taste the Sadness

Falling

The Creaks and Cries of a Heart

Restoration

I Hear Spring Breathing

Surprising Surrender

Light in the Eyes of the Dying

For a Brief Moment

New Zealand Rainforest

Franklin Gulls

New Year’s Day

Don’t Run

The Ice Storm

Not So Afraid

Melody of My Soul

A Steady Rain

Migrating Pelicans

January Moon

Butterfly

Contemplation

Frozen Songs

At Night

Last Leaf on the Tree

On My Way From Mankato to St. Paul

Changing the Landscape

An Exile Coming Home

Bittersweet

Easter Joy

The Memory of a Hand

Self-Doubt

Resurrection

Memories

Gestation

Rain

Watching Each Other Age

Seven Sisters

Silent Nudge of Confidence

Taking Back Her Life

The Best of You

Waiting for a Return

The Pine Grove

Winter Invitation

With Each Flying-by Year

The Robin in January

Watching Rain

Blackbirds

Easter Watch

How Many Loves Now

Shabby and Awkward

When Winter Wears Long

Writing

Community

Home Free

Snake Charmer

Uncertainty

Live This Day

Someday

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Acknowledgments

These poems were created, edited, and reedited over many years. During that time a lot of people came in and out of my life. Numerous ones influenced the shape and voice of what I’ve written. While I cannot recall all their names, I am truly grateful for each individual who left an imprint on these pages.

There are some persons, though, whose names remain fresh within