For Married Men Only: Three Principles for Loving Your Wife

By Tony Evans

What does it mean for a husband to love his wife? Three things, says Tony Evans: a husband must act as his wife’s savior, sanctifier, and satisfier. It is by living out these three principles that a godly marriage will blossom and flourish.

In For Married Men Only, each of these principles is explored and explained using real-life examples. How can a husband be his wife’s savior? By learning to love her as Christ loved the church. What about sanctifier? By dying to self and modeling sacrificial love, no matter what the result. And satisfier? By studying and serving his wife so he can fulfill her needs, just as Christ humbled Himself for our sakes.

First published in 2002 as Tony Evans Speaks Out on a Man’s Role in the Home, this booklet has sold nearly 40,000 copies. Use it alone or with the companion volume, For Married Women Only.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Moody Publishers
• Release date: Apr 21, 2010
• ISBN: 9781575675763

Tony Evans

El Dr. Tony Evans es el fundador y presidente de Alternativa Urbana, un ministerio nacional dedicado a la recuperación de la esperanza en la vida personal, en familias, en iglesias y en comunidades. El Dr. Evans ejerce también como pastor principal de Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship en Dallas. Es autor de numerosos éxitos de librería, y su programa de radio se escucha en más de 500 emisoras todos los días. Dr. Tony Evans is the founder and president of The Urban Alternative, a national ministry dedicated to restoring hope in personal lives, families, churches and communities. Dr. Evans also serves as senior pastor of Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship in Dallas. He is a bestselling author of numerous books and his radio program, The Alternative with Dr. Tony Evans, is heard on more than 500 stations every day.

Book preview

THE ROLE OF SAVIOR

Apreacher was performing a wedding when he came to the part of the ceremony in which it is traditional to ask if anyone present knows any reason why the wedding should not proceed. So the preacher asked if there was anyone who objected to this marriage, and a voice rang out through the church, I do.

Quiet, the preacher said. You’re the groom. You can’t object!

I’ve never conducted a wedding in which this has happened. But judging by the staggering divorce statistics in our culture, maybe there should be more wedding ceremonies that are brought to a halt because someone objects to the union. And that includes weddings between two Christians, because the body of Christ in America isn’t doing any better than the world when it comes to divorce.

It’s obvious that a lot of people are getting married with little or no idea of what they’re doing and/or with a faulty view of the person they are marrying. We all know that during the courting process a lot of selling goes on. Then when the two people get married, they discover they have been sold a bill of goods. The marriage isn’t what they thought it would be—and one or both parties want out.

It is my contention that one reason so many people are having so much trouble in their marriages today is that they are marrying sociologically instead of theologically. That is, their marriages are based more on social conventions and family expectations than on solid biblical foundations. It’s no wonder, then, that many husbands and wives have little idea what they should be doing to make their marriages work.

We are going to address the man’s role in this marriage guide, but I also want to note briefly the woman’s role because the two are side by side in a crucial passage that closes the Bible’s most extensive discussion of the marital relationship. In Ephesians 5:33 we read, "Each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband" (italics added).

These two highlighted words are a concise summary of the responsibilities that husbands and wives have toward each other. Husbands are commanded to love their wives, and wives are commanded to respect their husbands. Since this marriage guide is dedicated to the man’s role in the home, we’re going to talk about what it means for a husband to love his wife.

The book of Ephesians 5:25–31 spells out in detail how a husband is to treat his wife. I want to begin with the basic command that encompasses a husband’s calling: Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church (v. 25a).

The word love has been tossed around flippantly and reduced to its lowest common denominator today, to the point that many people don’t see any difference between the statements I love yogurt and I love my wife.

That’s why we need to begin by reminding ourselves that the Bible’s definition of love is so much more than personal taste or preference, or even affection. The biblical concept of agape love involves giving of yourself for the benefit of another, even at your own expense. Biblical love is defined by passionately and righteously seeking the well-being of another. Biblical love is an act of the will and not just a fuzzy feeling in the stomach. That’s why God can command us to love one another. Love really has nothing to do with whether you feel loving at a particular moment. It has to do with the need of the person being loved, not the feelings of the one doing the loving. We’ll see later how this love applies to a marital relationship.

With this definition of love in hand, we are ready to consider three practical ways that a husband can fulfill his role: by becoming his wife’s savior, sanctifier, and satisfier.

BECOMING YOUR WIFE’S SAVIOR

The first way that a man is to love his wife is by becoming her savior. Don’t get shook up by that term because we’re using it strictly in a nonreligious sense

Reviews for For Married Men Only

[Zac Rokovasa Vakadewatabua · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Love the parallel he uses in these chapters, very inspiring. Good read.

[Evelyn Brooks · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Wasn't ready for the words I was reading from this book, opened my eyes on a lot of things that I founded myself doing and overlooking with it came to my wife.

[moses917_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

What does it mean for a husband to love his wife? That is the question! Dr. Tony Evans says a husband must be his wife’s savior, sanctifier, and satisfier. It is by living out these three biblical principles that a godly marriage will blossom and flourish. In this booklet For Married Men Only: The Principles For Loving Your Wife, Evans goes through each of these principles by exploring and explaining using real-life examples.

Tony Evans (B.A., Carver Bible College; Th.M., Th.D., Dallas Theological Seminary) is founder and Senior Pastor of the over 7,000 member Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship in Dallas, Texas. He is also founder and President of The Urban Alternative, a national organization that seeks to bring about spiritual renewal in the urban America through the church.

In his small book he asks the probing questions that must be brought to the surface for ever man to answer. How does a husband be his wife’s savior? By learning to love her as Christ loved the church. What about sanctifier? By dying to self and modeling sacrificial love, no matter what the result. And how to be the satisfier? By studying and serving his wife so he can fulfill her needs, just as Christ humbled Himself for our sakes.

First published in 2002 as Tony Evans Speaks Out on a Man’s Role in the Home, this booklet has sold nearly 40,000 copies. Use it alone or with the companion volume, For Married Women Only. It a must read for any man to grasp the three S’s of biblical manhood.