The Tales of Anna East

By Lauren Elliott

Meet Anäis. She is smart. She loves her job. She gets up in the morning to go about her day but somewhere around noon finds herself asking, “Did that man really say that? Did that really happen? Am I living a television series?” Author Lauren Elliott has written an intriguing American story of a woman of color. She addresses head on that being black in America, no matter what some people might say to the contrary, means understanding that normal life issues sometimes become melanin issues that pop up at the strangest times. The Tales of Anna East will be recognizable to many; at times hilarious, at times distressing, and at times completely absurd.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Jan 14, 2014
• ISBN: 9781483533001

Lauren Elliott

Lauren Elliott is a Major in the Air Force Reserves and a 2000 Air Force Academy graduate. She served as a Regional Director of Admissions at the Air Force Academy and as a guest faculty member in the Electrical and Computer Engineering department. She has read and evaluated 20,000+ candidate application packages and understands what service academy admissions and nomination boards are looking for.

Book preview

1

Nobody in my family seemed to notice that something very wrong was going on with Grandma Russell. Nobody, I guess is incorrect, because I knew. Even Grandma Russell knew but she couldn’t do anything about it. Everybody else had an explanation. Her brothers, all three of them, said she was stubborn. Their kids and my cousins dismissed her as argumentative and set in her ways. Her sister sniffed, The woman is mean.

Everybody in the family had a take on her behavior and used terms that could have described themselves, because they all were stubborn, argumentative, and set in their ways. A few were even downright mean. No one else, though, was going to the toilet in Depression glass bowls and porcelain vases. There was something wrong with my grandmother and being mean and argumentative was not the whole of it.

Over time, I had drifted away from the close-knit bonds our family shared. There were a lot of reasons. The way they now acted with regard to my grandmother effectively ripped the seams apart for good.

I was on the phone trying to hold a conversation with my daddy, but he was distracted. His voice had a touch of irritation in it. What are you talking about?

"What do you mean what am I talking about? I asked you to take Grandma Russell out of the house. Why are you suddenly Joe-I-Dunno? You know what I am trying to do over here.

I have to watch her every minute and can’t get a thing done. When I leave the house she reverses every single thing I did. I spend all day cleaning up flower pots filled with feces. Silence. Did you hear me? She has bowel movements in flower pots. As fast as I find and empty them she fills them up again. I can’t get the smell out of the house. I asked you to take her for a day. That’s all.

I’ll have to ask your mother if she can find time later on. I can’t break my pace right now.

My mother is dead. You do remember the funeral a month ago? That woman is not my mother.

Don’t start, okay? Try to be civil. Just try to keep the peace.

Would you please come and get Grandma Russell so I can get the rooms empty to paint this weekend? Please?

You don’t show her any respect.

This isn’t about your wife, I snapped.

Yes, it is. You still think she stole me away. I was gone whether I met her or not.

Now the silence came from me.

You hurt her, he insisted, and you know it. She is my wife and ...

I sighed, An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, and what do we have? A room full of blind people starving to death ‘cause they can’t eat!

Mommy’s words echoed, Honor thy mother and thy father ...

Bye, Daddy.

I hung up the phone.

I glanced around the room at the piled trash that needed to be bagged. There were more, many more, piles in the basement. The plastic-covered French provincial sofa had been urinated on too many times and was beyond help. The matching chair was leaning up against the coffee table because the front legs were broken.

I picked the phone back up and dialed my great aunt’s number. I had to ask Marguerite why she never brought all this up. You are over here at least two to three times a week, I said. There is no way the smell didn’t bother you. And what about those bugs? I moved a picture on the wall and a million roaches ran out.

Yes, I noticed it, but what do you expect me to do about it? she asked, sounding angry at me for asking.

I paused and took a deep breath before continuing.

Did you know your sister won’t use the toilet? She asked me, ‘What do you want me to do? It was running down my leg.’ She couldn’t make it to the bathroom less than six feet past her bedroom door!

My great-aunt was old. Arguing with her was useless.

You know, I’m sorry, I said. I just thought family was supposed to take care of each other.

I shouldn’t have said that.

She hung up on me.

Before I could consider that, the phone rang. It was Daddy.

Why did you hang up the phone on me? I could hear the heavy nose breathing that he did when he got mad. Look, I said. I’m sorry. It’s just ...

I had not ever spoken to my father in a disrespectful manner in my life, but I was mad that he had the nerve to be mad at me.

I have asked everybody for help. I got nothing. I have decided to move in with her, because she can’t live alone.

He blasted air from his nose.

I know what you are trying to do, but I have to go to the dealership this afternoon. Somebody backed out of a deal, and I’m getting first shot at the last one of the new line. If I sleep this I won’t get another chance. I told you I would ask Sheryl if she has time to go over there.

Fine. I am sorry to have bothered you.

Don’t go there, okay? Just don’t. You and I both know what you will get out of this, so don’t act so wounded. I’ll call you later.

The line went silent. I wanted to pick up the phone and call Mommy but couldn’t.

I considered taking Granny out of that house, but there was no way I could take her to my house. I already tried it, and she had spent the four nights pacing the living room floor, agonizing about what she imagined was being done to her house in her absence.

Grandma Russell was confused. Sometimes she remembered who we were, and sometimes we grandkids were the damn young-uns stealing her things. I bought her new mattresses, but she refused to allow the delivery men in. She told them the thing would be in the way when she got a hold of them young-uns and made them return my things that they stole.

Just the week before, she called me at work, upset about a burglary. She told me she had been tied up and left in the basement, but had escaped. She could not describe the assailants. I rushed over to find the china cabinet emptied of all of great-grandmother’s crystal. After an exhaustive search I found it all carefully wrapped in dish and bath towels underneath a pile of moth-eaten drapes in the guest bedroom closet. When I asked her how it got there she told me her long dead Papa and Mama must have put it there when they visited the last time. Grandma Russell was suffering from dementia and nobody gave a damn.

My heart was broken every time she could not remember she had been fed and bathed and insisted she was abandoned. I would remind her as many times as she asked. I worried constantly when I was not with her, because she would leave the house to go for a walk and forget which house was hers when she tried to come back.

More than once, she tried to jimmy open someone else’s front door.

What else could I do? she asked the startled neighbors. You changed the lock on my damn door.

One irate couple stopped by the house and confronted me.

You had better do something about her trying to break in our house or we will, the woman snarled.

It was a miracle Grandma Russell had not yet tried the door of someone paranoid.

Grandma Russell herself was paranoid and called 911 repeatedly to report people walking by, shadows on the walls, and strange noises she heard in the attic and basement. The police threatened to take action about the false claims of robbery, assault, and burglaries in progress they had received from 615 Madison. I pleaded with a detective not to hold my grandmother responsible. They were about to charge her as a nuisance. Her actions, I explained, were deliberate, though not criminally so. Keeping my grandmother in the home where she was happy was going to be hard.

2

Granny Wheeler answered the phone on the third ring.

Hi, honey, she said when she heard my voice. How is the project going?

It’s not.

Sorry. I’m not well myself. I can’t help. What about your sister?

She has no time. Don’t even ask me about Daddy.

Granny paused. I am going to Bingo later this evening. I can take her with me.

I masked my joy.

I will have her ready.

I know how hard you are trying to help, Granny Wheeler said. I am sorry I can’t do more.

I spent the next hour trying to convince Grandma Russell that taking a bath was not lethal.

The tub is cracked, she explained, refusing to get undressed. The water will spill out if I get in it.

The tub is not cracked.

Yes, it is, she insisted. You just can’t see it. The water will ruin the ceiling.

I know you are afraid you will fall. I’m gonna help you.

Why do I have to take a bath? I’m not going anywhere.

You said you wanted to go with Grandma Wheeler to play Bingo. Did you forget?

I’m sorry. I did forget.

It’s okay. You wouldn’t want the people at the church to see you like this now, would you? You never know, one of your friends might show up, and I know you would be mortified.

Do you think I might see one of the doctors there?

I heard Dr. Simon’s wife plays there every week.

Oh, then I have to wear my new houndstooth suit.

Dr. Simon’s wife, along with the suit she was referring to, was long gone. I gave Grandma Russell a bath and washed her hair. She was dressed and ready when Grandma Wheeler pulled up.

Just before I opened the front door, I took my grandmother’s hand and placed a small leather wallet in it. She didn’t have one because I had hidden all her purses and wallets. She wasn’t allowed to have money, because she would get on a bus or call a taxi and end up missing.

I put a few dollars in it for you to buy something to eat and drink and so that you can buy your boards for the game. Don’t lose it.

I am not a child. I’m gonna speak to Beck about the way you talk to me.

Beck died, remember? I said softly.

Oh no. When?

I swallowed hard to get rid of the lump in my throat and walked my grandmother to the car.

Have fun, you guys. Thanks, Granny.

I snapped the seatbelt on Grandma Russell and waved as the Chrysler pulled away.

Grandma Wheeler’s car was parked in front of the house when I returned from the dump. They had been gone less than an hour. The game could not have been over that soon.

Grandma Wheeler ran up to me before I could turn off the engine.

I lost her baby! I lost Grandma Russell.

What do you mean? You lost her? Lost her where? How?

Wide-eyed, I said, Let’s go inside.

I lost her, Anäis. She is gone. I looked everywhere for her, but I couldn’t find her. She’s gone!

She rushed in and plopped onto the couch when I opened the door. I was scared to ask, but I had to. What happened?

We got there as the first game was starting and bought our boards just in time. Mrs. Russell won the first game. Can you believe it? The very first game! I was helping her play and looked at her numbers, and she had the windowpane! I yelled BINGO and the man came over to check the board. When he said, ‘We have a winner,’ Mrs. Russell got excited and kept asking me, ‘Did I really win?’

Grandma Wheeler was shaking.

Do you want some water, Granny?

Yes.

I rushed into the kitchen.

Anyway, she continued, I told her to stop asking the same thing and pay attention to the man because he was trying to pay her. She won seventy-five dollars and the guy counted it out in ten dollar bills and a five. ‘Ten, twenty, thirty,’ all the way to seventy-five. Mrs. Russell held the money in her hand and kept looking at it like she had never seen money before.

He gave it to her? In her hand?

Of course he gave it to her. She won. Didn’t I just say that?

I forgot to tell you.

Grandma Wheeler didn’t ask what I forgot to tell her. After a minute she says she has to go to the restroom and asked me where it was. I told her and she got up and went out the door. When she didn’t come back I went to look for her but she was nowhere to be found. She was gone! Grandma Wheeler shook her head and started to tear up.

Don’t cry. It’s not your fault. That’s why I kept money from her. We’ll find her.

Well, that’s it, I thought. It’s over. Nobody can deal with this.

I picked up the telephone and started to dial.

I already called the police, baby. They are out right now looking for Mrs. Russell.

I’m calling Daddy and Monique. They are going to have to do something.

3

I dialed my sister’s number. My youngest nephew answered on the second ring.

Hello. Who do you wish to speak to?

Hi, baby. This is Auntie.

Hi, Auntie.

Baby, you should say ‘to whom do you wish to speak.’ Not who.

Oh, okay, Auntie. Whom, whom.

Where is your mother?

She’s in her room. I’ll get her. The child paused a moment.

Auntie, can I ask you a very important question? It’s VERY important and I have been wondering about it for a long time.

What is it?

What is the difference between a reptile and an amphibian? They both can swim, and they can both walk on land. I don’t think they are mammals, and I don’t think they are like fish. It has been really bothering me, and I have to know.

Put your mommy on the phone, okay, baby? I’ll get back to you on that one, because I really don’t know. Aren’t they the same thing?

Okay, Auntie. I don’t know but I love you.

I love you too, baby.

I heard a voice.

Hello?

Hey.

Hey girl, wassup?

Wassup? Well, Grandma Russell disappeared from the Bingo game, and the police are out looking for her.

What Bingo game? What do you mean she disappeared?

Grandma Wheeler was doing me a favor and took her to play Bingo and she won money and walked away from the church. Scared Grandma Wheeler almost to death.

When did this happen and what do you mean Grandma Wheeler was doing you a favor?

She took Grandma Russell out of the house to play Bingo and that was a huge favor.

Look, I told you, I am not ignoring you. I have things to do. By the time I get back in here I am worn out.

I was just letting you know what happened and to tell you I’m done.

"You’re done? See that’s just what I’m talking about. You act as if everybody is supposed to just drop what they are doing because you need something done. It’s not fair.

"You don’t have to worry about what is fair. You all are just going to end up putting her away anyway, so don’t act like you are going to have to do something."

You know this is drama, she said. We all know what you are doing over there. Okay? So thank you. Thank you so very much.

I didn’t call to talk. I just wanted to tell you what happened.

Call me if you need me, my sister said, softening her tone. I’ll find some way to help you out.

I gotta go. The police might be trying to call, and I should get off of the phone. You can tell everybody else. I’ll call you if there is any news.

No. You are not going to just end it like that, Monique said. You bring up all this blame, then you, ‘gotta go.’ Did you ever think that is why nobody wants to do anything for you? I said I was going to help. I’ll come over there after a while. I have a few things I have to do first.

I hung up the phone. I did not call Daddy.

After we got the call, Grandma Wheeler and I rushed to the bus stop where the police said they were waiting with Grandma Russell. I should not have laughed when they told me what she had told them. She had repeated the story about being tied up in the basement and locked in a closet. The cop with her did not seem to find humor in an elderly woman being forced to wear down her implanted dentures as she chewed through her restraints to escape. He grabbed me and turned me around to slap a pair of cuffs on my wrists. Granny Wheeler stood there looking up at the sky instead of telling them what had really happened and offered no help while I explained my way back to freedom.

Granny Wheeler admitted on the way home that she had been too embarrassed to say anything to the police. Monique never came over.

My great-aunt told me that she lived too far away to drive way over to the house when I called to tell her the police had found her sister. I just felt lucky the cops let me go.

4

I sat on the living room floor for over an hour after I got Grandma Russell back home. I was tired of everything and everybody.

Oh shit!

The emergency had me so caught up that I forgot to call work to say I was going to be late. The nurse who answered the phone when I called to say I would be at least an hour late said she would pass the message on when she got around to it.

If Granny decided to roam again I wasn’t quite sure what I would do, but for now, all I could do was grab my things, rush home, and change for work. I got to the hospital fifty-five minutes after my start time and punched in.

I walked toward the closed curtain around bay number six. There was a bad smell. I held my breath and pulled back the curtain.

The man grabbed three plastic grocery bags into a wad and tucked them under his leg. Can you get me something to eat?

What’s going on? I asked, smiling.

The man sneaked a grin. I had a heart attack. I was here last week. I hurt in my chest.

How long have you been sitting here? How did you get here?

I walked here. I dunno, about an hour.

An hour? You need to put on a gown.

When he pulled his shoes off, I gagged. I’ll be right back.

I backed away and ran to the restroom. I leaned over the sink, cupped my hand, took a few mouthfuls of water and rinsed my mouth. Then I walked over to the supply cart, picked up two plastic belonging bags, and returned to the patient.

I’d like to put these on your feet, okay?

I live on the street ...

You don’t have to apologize.

I tied the bags around the man’s ankles. The smell immediately went away. You said you had a heart attack last week? I attached the monitor leads to the man’s chest. Where were you admitted?

Right here. I just got out about four days ago. That lady over there, she remembers me.

My name is Anna and I am your nurse. The man had no ID band on. What is your name, sir?

Joseph Mack.

Nice to meet you, Mr. Mack. I am going to start an IV and draw some blood so we can check your heart, okay? Are you having pain right now?

Just call me Joe. I get a pain every now and then. When I was walking here it was real bad a couple of times. I had to stop and sit down. He continued to clutch his bags. Are you gonna get me something to eat?

I walked away to ask the charge nurse why the man had been ignored.

That man is in your assigned area, and therefore it was your responsibility to take care of him in a timely manner, Jena the charge nurse said.

I decided to act as if I had not heard her and walked back to the patient. I need a tech over here! Gary! Gary!

What?

When the ED tech walked in through the automatic doors, cigarette smoke vented into the department.

The EMT stuck his head inside the curtained area. Why are you yelling like that? I’m right here. What do you need?

I need an EKG and this blood taken to the lab.

Is there an order?

An order for what?

Did the doc order an EKG? I need an order.

Yes, there is an order. An electrocardiogram has to be done within ten minutes of arrival for all patients presenting with the complaint of chest pain. Remember? He says he has been here over an hour already.

Where is the chart?

Oh, for goodness sake. Can you just get the machine? I’ll do it.

I walked over to the printer and got the labels and an arm band.

Gary walked across the department, un- plugged the EKG machine, and pushed it to the homeless man’s bedside. Hey! He doesn’t have a name band.

I know that. I have it right here.

Well, I’m not supposed to do it without a name band is all I’m saying.

He looked down at the man. What is your name?

Joseph Mack. Don’t you remember me? I was just here with a heart attack. You did the same thing then.

Gary ignored the question and snatched the name band from my hand. He entered the patient’s data into the machine and attached the stickies to begin the cardiogram.

A registry nurse working that night wandered over. He started talking. It wasn’t clear if he was talking to me or Gary.

"I was working at this hospital in the ‘burbs recently, and this guy came in saying he had been bitten by a rabid skunk."

He was talking louder than he needed to.

I asked him, ‘How do you know it was rabid?’

He said, ‘Why else would a skunk walk up and bite you?’

Gary completed the EKG as Warren, the registry nurse, continued. He killed the thing with his bare hands and brought it into the emergency room. Damn thing stank like hell.

What? Gary asked, shoving the report into my hands. What are you talking about?

This guy, crazy as bat shit, brought a dead skunk into the ER. The thing bit him, so he killed it and brought it in for us to examine it for rabies.

I can top that, Gary said excitedly. Dude came in drunk as shit with his band. But guess what? Only he can see the band ...‘cause ... the ... band ... was ... invisible.

Gary laughed.

Warren said, Yeah, the invisible Band of Gypsies

He couldn’t even tell us his name, Gary went on. Didn’t know his own name he was so drunk, but then he asks what we are going to do for Stevie Ray Vaughn’s birthday. He kept saying he was a guitar god and we should be celebrating his birthday. When I went to take that fool up to his room he insisted that we let his group get on the elevator with him. I mean hold the doors till everybody is in. The drummer had to squeeze in before we could let the door close. You have another patient, the charge nurse muttered to me as she walked up to take a phone call. The guys were still going on.

When we got back down to the department, we went online and checked, and sure as shit, it was Stevie Ray Vaughn’s birthday!

It’s an OD, when you get the time, Jena said, covering the mouthpiece.

Where is the patient?

Bed eleven.

Oh, that is funny, Warren said laughing too loudly. Wonder what his alcohol level was?

I don’t remember, but it wasn’t that high, Gary answered. "Somewhere around three hundred. If I